Subtitles Dad's Army Season 4 - Subtitles English 1CD - Download DivX subtitles and DVD subtitles for every DVD or DivX movie!

Dad's Army S4E11 A. Wilson (Manager).srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:04,007 --> 00:00:08,523
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,687 --> 00:00:13,442
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:18,476
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,647 --> 00:00:23,163
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:28,082
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,247 --> 00:00:32,957
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:42,597
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

8
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:47,522
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

9
00:00:47,687 --> 00:00:52,522
# If you think old England's done? #

10
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,520
(MUFFLED ) Good morning, Mr Mainwaring.

11
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,884
Good morning, Pike. Any letters?

12
00:01:05,047 --> 00:01:08,801
Only two, sir, and they're both marked
''Delayed by enemy action''.

13
00:01:08,967 --> 00:01:10,958
Good gracious me!

14
00:01:11,127 --> 00:01:15,405
We haven't had any letters
from Head Office for two and a half weeks!

15
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:18,445
Goodness knows
how many documents have been lost!

16
00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:21,997
- Shall I set up the Lewis gun, sir?
- No, that's Wilson's job.

17
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:25,682
- Where is he? It's quarter past nine.
- He's not usually late.

18
00:01:25,847 --> 00:01:29,123
- I wonder what's happened.
- Perhaps he's been captured.

19
00:01:29,287 --> 00:01:30,879
What?

20
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:35,165
A Nazi paratrooper may have landed
and captured him on the way to work.

21
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:37,522
Don't be ridiculous.

22
00:01:37,687 --> 00:01:40,281
I'd better do it myself.

23
00:01:40,447 --> 00:01:42,438
(PHONE RINGS)

24
00:01:42,607 --> 00:01:45,075
- See who that is on the phone.
- Yes, sir.

25
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:4 ...

You are currently editing: Dad's Army S4E11 A. Wilson (Manager).srt

To make the subtitle comes later than it appears, use positive values in the Time Offset field, to make it comes before it appears use negative values.

Time Offset (sec)
(example 0.2, 1, 2.5, -0.4, -1)

Subtitle Text

1
00:00:04,007 --> 00:00:08,523
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,687 --> 00:00:13,442
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:18,476
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,647 --> 00:00:23,163
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:28,082
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,247 --> 00:00:32,957
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:42,597
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

8
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:47,522
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

9
00:00:47,687 --> 00:00:52,522
# If you think old England's done? #

10
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:01,520
(MUFFLED ) Good morning, Mr Mainwaring.

11
00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:04,884
Good morning, Pike. Any letters?

12
00:01:05,047 --> 00:01:08,801
Only two, sir, and they're both marked
''Delayed by enemy action''.

13
00:01:08,967 --> 00:01:10,958
Good gracious me!

14
00:01:11,127 --> 00:01:15,405
We haven't had any letters
from Head Office for two and a half weeks!

15
00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:18,445
Goodness knows
how many documents have been lost!

16
00:01:18,607 --> 00:01:21,997
- Shall I set up the Lewis gun, sir?
- No, that's Wilson's job.

17
00:01:22,167 --> 00:01:25,682
- Where is he? It's quarter past nine.
- He's not usually late.

18
00:01:25,847 --> 00:01:29,123
- I wonder what's happened.
- Perhaps he's been captured.

19
00:01:29,287 --> 00:01:30,879
What?

20
00:01:31,047 --> 00:01:35,165
A Nazi paratrooper may have landed
and captured him on the way to work.

21
00:01:35,327 --> 00:01:37,522
Don't be ridiculous.

22
00:01:37,687 --> 00:01:40,281
I'd better do it myself.

23
00:01:40,447 --> 00:01:42,438
(PHONE RINGS)

24
00:01:42,607 --> 00:01:45,075
- See who that is on the phone.
- Yes, sir.

25
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,846
Hello. Swallow Bank.

26
00:01:49,007 --> 00:01:51,521
No, I'm not the manager. Hang on, please.

27
00:01:51,687 --> 00:01:55,760
It's for you, Mr Mainwaring.
Long-distance, Head Office.

28
00:01:55,927 --> 00:01:58,919
- All right. You see to the gun, will you?
- Yes, sir.

29
00:02:02,487 --> 00:02:06,241
- Hello? Good morning, sir.
- Mainwaring? West here, Head Office.

30
00:02:06,407 --> 00:02:10,559
Oh, yes... Stop fiddling with that gun, will you?
Stop fiddling with it.

31
00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:14,838
- Mainwaring, are you there?
- Hello, sir. Yes, here.

32
00:02:15,007 --> 00:02:19,205
I'm afraid some of our letters
may have been destroyed by enemy action.

33
00:02:20,287 --> 00:02:23,438
Put that gun down. Put that gun down, I say!

34
00:02:23,607 --> 00:02:27,077
- What's happening? What's happening?
- Nothing, sir. Why?

35
00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:31,877
- I thought the bank was being robbed.
- No, everything's under complete control.

36
00:02:32,047 --> 00:02:35,278
I won't waste time, Mainwaring.
This call is expensive.

37
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:39,565
I shan't be able to send anyone
to replace Wilson for several weeks,

38
00:02:39,727 --> 00:02:42,241
so you'll have to manage the best you can.

39
00:02:42,407 --> 00:02:43,726
What?

40
00:02:43,887 --> 00:02:48,403
I shan't be able to send anyone
to replace Wilson for several weeks.

41
00:02:48,567 --> 00:02:52,003
- Why? Where's he going?
- What do you mean, where's he going?

42
00:02:52,167 --> 00:02:56,558
You know where he's going. He's taking over
as manager at our Eastgate branch.

43
00:02:59,887 --> 00:03:03,436
- He's what?
- Well, I wrote to you about it last month.

44
00:03:04,327 --> 00:03:08,605
- Well, I never got the letter.
- It must have been destroyed in an air raid.

45
00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:14,444
You'll just have to manage the best you can.
There's a war on. I'll keep in touch. Goodbye.

46
00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:23,363
- Are you all right, Mr Mainwaring?
- Wilson's to be manager of the Eastgate branch.

47
00:03:23,527 --> 00:03:26,325
Oh, I know that. Yes, Mum's ever so pleased.

48
00:03:30,247 --> 00:03:32,636
(PHONE RINGS)

49
00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:37,440
- Hello? Mainwaring here.
- Pritchard here, adjutant, HQ.

50
00:03:37,607 --> 00:03:39,962
Yeah, good morning, sir.

51
00:03:40,127 --> 00:03:43,437
Sergeant Wilson's commission
has come through.

52
00:03:43,607 --> 00:03:45,677
Commission?

53
00:03:45,847 --> 00:03:50,318
Captain Square wants him to take over
the Eastgate Platoon as soon as possible.

54
00:03:50,487 --> 00:03:53,797
- The Eastgate Platoon?
- I expect you'll miss him.

55
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:57,357
Have you decided
who you're going to promote in his place?

56
00:03:57,527 --> 00:04:00,087
- (MUMBLES)
- Let me know as soon as you can.

57
00:04:00,247 --> 00:04:03,603
Sergeant Wilson deserves his promotion.
He's a good chap.

58
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:06,884
Congratulate him for me, will you? Cheerio.

59
00:04:09,047 --> 00:04:10,560
Oh!

60
00:04:11,487 --> 00:04:14,206
(PHONE RINGS)

61
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:18,440
- Yes? Mainwaring here.
- Good morning, Mr Mainwaring, Vicar here.

62
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:24,238
Are you going to tell me that Wilson's been made
Archbishop of Canterbury?

63
00:04:24,407 --> 00:04:26,796
Really, Mr Mainwaring!

64
00:04:27,727 --> 00:04:31,879
- Sorry, Vicar. I'm not quite myself this morning.
- Oh, dear, aren't you?

65
00:04:32,047 --> 00:04:34,515
I'm afraid I've got a confession to make.

66
00:04:34,687 --> 00:04:39,636
When I say ''confession'', I don't mean that sort
of confession. That's mostly for the RCs.

67
00:04:39,807 --> 00:04:41,286
Idiot.

68
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:44,041
What I'm trying to say is that the whist drive

69
00:04:44,207 --> 00:04:48,678
that is supposed to take place in the church hall
on Tuesday next is tonight.

70
00:04:49,447 --> 00:04:52,723
- Really?
- So would you mind cancelling your parade?

71
00:04:52,887 --> 00:04:55,720
Otherwise I'm going to look a bit of a fool.

72
00:04:55,887 --> 00:04:58,526
- All right, Vicar.
- Oh, how sweet of you!

73
00:04:58,687 --> 00:05:01,155
Thank you very much. Goodbye.

74
00:05:04,087 --> 00:05:05,566
Pike!

75
00:05:09,887 --> 00:05:12,606
You do look red. Shall I open the other window?

76
00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:16,840
No, I've just had a bit of a shock.
I've had several shocks this morning.

77
00:05:17,007 --> 00:05:20,079
- I've never seen you look like this.
- Never mind that.

78
00:05:20,247 --> 00:05:24,126
Go and tell every member of the platoon
that the parade is off tonight.

79
00:05:24,287 --> 00:05:27,438
- Yes, sir.
- Get these orders typed out and duplicated.

80
00:05:27,607 --> 00:05:29,996
Take a copy to each member of the platoon.

81
00:05:30,167 --> 00:05:33,603
- (WILSON) Good morning!
- Go and get on with your work.

82
00:05:35,287 --> 00:05:38,916
- Good morning, Frank.
- Good morning, Uncle Arth...Mr Wilson.

83
00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,678
Good morning, sir.

84
00:05:42,807 --> 00:05:44,877
What time do you call this?

85
00:05:45,047 --> 00:05:47,561
Actually, sir, it's twenty to ten.

86
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:53,122
- Where have you been?
- I've been doing a little shopping. I bought this.

87
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:56,962
Do you like it? It's for...officers only, of course.

88
00:05:59,007 --> 00:06:04,161
And I bought some of these as well. I don't know
which I like best, the cloth ones or brass ones.

89
00:06:04,327 --> 00:06:08,002
But you're not supposed to wear
brass ones with the battle dress.

90
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,964
Judas!

91
00:06:12,087 --> 00:06:14,555
- I beg your pardon?
- Judas!

92
00:06:15,767 --> 00:06:17,962
I'm sorry, but I don't quite follow you.

93
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:22,643
Wilson, you've been following me for years,
waiting to step into my shoes!

94
00:06:22,807 --> 00:06:27,198
- I don't want to step into your shoes.
- You never told me about the Eastgate job.

95
00:06:27,367 --> 00:06:31,155
- Surely Head Office wrote to you?
- The letters got destroyed.

96
00:06:31,327 --> 00:06:34,285
- That's not my fault.
- What about this commission?

97
00:06:34,447 --> 00:06:39,043
Captain Square probably overstepped the mark,
but he's very keen to have me.

98
00:06:39,207 --> 00:06:43,678
In fact, he said he was most impressed
with what I'd done with the platoon.

99
00:06:45,167 --> 00:06:47,635
With what YOU'D done with the platoon?

100
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:50,480
Yes, he's had his eye on me for some time now.

101
00:06:51,247 --> 00:06:54,683
Just because you went
to a tuppenny-ha'penny public school!

102
00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:58,522
- I wouldn't call Meadowbridge that.
- Meadowbridge!

103
00:06:58,687 --> 00:07:02,043
You know where I went, don't you?
Eastbourne Grammar!

104
00:07:02,207 --> 00:07:05,165
- What's wrong with that?
- Don't be so patronising!

105
00:07:05,327 --> 00:07:08,160
I had to fight like hell to get there!

106
00:07:08,327 --> 00:07:12,605
- That's all to your credit.
- You've never fought for anything in your life.

107
00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:17,761
Brought up by a nanny, father something in the
City. You sit back and let everything come to you.

108
00:07:17,927 --> 00:07:20,395
Well, it wasn't quite as simple as all that.

109
00:07:20,567 --> 00:07:25,436
I've been manager here for ten years. I ought
to have gone on to better things years ago.

110
00:07:25,607 --> 00:07:29,520
Every time I went for a promotion,
it was, ''What school did you go to?''

111
00:07:29,687 --> 00:07:33,839
- As soon as I told them, that was that!
- I'm sure it didn't influence them.

112
00:07:34,007 --> 00:07:36,475
Oh, no, I'm sure it wouldn't influence you.

113
00:07:36,647 --> 00:07:42,916
All they've got to do is ask you and you'd say,
''I was at Meadowbridge. Small, but rather good.''

114
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:45,237
There were over 300 boys there.

115
00:07:45,407 --> 00:07:47,921
Not only have I made a success of this branch,

116
00:07:48,087 --> 00:07:53,002
but I've taken a lot of shopkeepers up by the
bootlaces and turned them into a crack platoon!

117
00:07:53,167 --> 00:07:55,556
- Well, I helped a bit.
- Did you?

118
00:07:55,727 --> 00:08:00,198
I'll show you how I value your help,
both as a platoon sergeant and a chief clerk!

119
00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:03,202
Get me 252, will you?

120
00:08:03,927 --> 00:08:06,646
When I sat at this desk this morning

121
00:08:06,807 --> 00:08:12,882
and saw the web of intrigue that was unfolding
before my eyes, I-I couldn't believe it.

122
00:08:13,047 --> 00:08:16,881
I've never... Hello, Jones.
Get round to the bank as soon as you can.

123
00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,566
Pike!

124
00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:25,718
Come in here.

125
00:08:27,647 --> 00:08:32,516
Now, until you're relieved by Head Office,
you will assume the duties of chief clerk.

126
00:08:33,407 --> 00:08:34,920
Pardon?

127
00:08:35,087 --> 00:08:37,681
I said you're chief clerk as from today.

128
00:08:37,847 --> 00:08:42,682
- Do you think I've got the brains for it?
- I'm jolly sure if Wilson has, you have!

129
00:08:42,847 --> 00:08:45,998
I don't talk posh like Uncle...Mr Wilson.

130
00:08:46,167 --> 00:08:49,318
- Never judge a book by its cover, Pike.
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)

131
00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:53,605
- Come in.
- Mr Mainwaring, Mr Wilson, Pikey...

132
00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:57,362
I can't stop long, you know.
The offal's just arrived.

133
00:08:57,527 --> 00:09:01,202
I've got a queue a mile long
and Raymond's looking after the shop.

134
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:04,677
- This won't take a minute. Get to work, Pike.
- Yes, sir.

135
00:09:06,127 --> 00:09:10,359
Now, just a minute, Jones.
Listen very carefully to what I'm going to say.

136
00:09:10,527 --> 00:09:14,076
Lance Corporal Jones,
I hereby promote you to sergeant.

137
00:09:15,327 --> 00:09:19,081
- What do you think of that?
- Do you think that's wise, sir?

138
00:09:19,247 --> 00:09:24,321
That's the last time you'll look down your nose
at me and say, ''Do you think that's wise, sir?''

139
00:09:24,487 --> 00:09:28,036
Well, what do you think of that, Jones? Jones?

140
00:09:28,207 --> 00:09:29,686
Agh!

141
00:09:29,847 --> 00:09:33,078
Oh, Mr Mainwaring, I don't know what to say.

142
00:09:33,247 --> 00:09:36,842
This is quite extraordinary.
Promoted to sergeant?

143
00:09:37,007 --> 00:09:41,398
I never believed this'd come true,
and now to think that after all these years

144
00:09:41,567 --> 00:09:46,766
I'll be able to stand in front of those brave boys
with three stripes on every arm.

145
00:09:48,407 --> 00:09:51,843
Not just one, not two, but...but three.

146
00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:57,357
You see the sort of man I'm promoting?
Brave, true, loyal to the last!

147
00:09:57,527 --> 00:10:00,121
(BLOWS NOSE)

148
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:05,679
Mr Mainwaring, what about Mr Wilson?
We can't have two sergeants.

149
00:10:05,847 --> 00:10:10,523
Mr Wilson is leaving us.
He is going to higher things.

150
00:10:10,687 --> 00:10:17,001
He's been promoted to Second Lieutenant...
in Eastgate Platoon.

151
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:19,317
Oh... Oh, dear, I...

152
00:10:19,487 --> 00:10:21,955
Oh... Oh, that's marvellous.

153
00:10:22,127 --> 00:10:26,200
I shall miss you, Mr Wilson.
Nobody deserves promotion more than you do.

154
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:29,325
And I shall try and live up to the high ideals

155
00:10:29,487 --> 00:10:33,366
and to the standards of loyalty that you put up us.

156
00:10:33,527 --> 00:10:35,438
(MUTTERS)

157
00:10:35,607 --> 00:10:38,280
- Thank you very much, Jonesy.
- Just one thing.

158
00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:43,885
Could you put the promotion down officially?
Write it down in writing, if you wouldn't mind, sir?

159
00:10:44,047 --> 00:10:47,323
So I can have something solid
to show people in the future.

160
00:10:47,487 --> 00:10:49,921
- Yes, certainly.
- Thank you, sir.

161
00:10:50,087 --> 00:10:53,602
- ''This is to confirm...''
- Confirm...

162
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:56,884
- ''..that you have been promoted...''
- Promoted...

163
00:10:57,047 --> 00:11:02,041
''..to the rank of Sergeant of the First Platoon
of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard.''

164
00:11:02,207 --> 00:11:04,323
Home Guard.

165
00:11:04,487 --> 00:11:08,162
I'll have this typed out
and I'll put your name at the top.

166
00:11:08,327 --> 00:11:12,559
- Thank you very much. I'll get back to the shop.
- Jonesy, I'll show you out.

167
00:11:12,727 --> 00:11:18,006
No need to do that. Thank you, Mr Mainwaring.
Thank you, Mr Wilson. I'll get back to the shop.

168
00:11:18,167 --> 00:11:20,965
Yes, you do that. You get back to the shop.

169
00:11:21,127 --> 00:11:24,437
- I'll go back to the shop.
- Yes, you go back to the shop.

170
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:35,840
Mr Mainwaring, Miss King says can you come
at once? She's got a query of a customer.

171
00:11:36,007 --> 00:11:37,998
Yes, all right.

172
00:11:38,807 --> 00:11:40,877
- Pike...
- Yes, sir?

173
00:11:43,607 --> 00:11:46,326
Type those orders out and duplicate them.

174
00:11:46,487 --> 00:11:49,524
And see that every member of the platoon
gets a copy.

175
00:11:49,687 --> 00:11:52,645
- Tell them the parade is off for tonight.
- Yes, sir.

176
00:11:58,247 --> 00:12:03,719
''This is to confirm that you've been promoted
to the rank of Sergeant of the First Platoon...''

177
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:08,637
Why has he promoted everybody else
to sergeant and not me?

178
00:12:10,487 --> 00:12:13,524
Oh, well, at least I am chief clerk!

179
00:12:15,207 --> 00:12:17,880
# Waltzing high in the clouds

180
00:12:18,167 --> 00:12:22,046
# Drifting, dreaming, far from the crowds... #

181
00:12:22,207 --> 00:12:25,836
I do wish Mr Mainwaring
wouldn't keep using my drawers!

182
00:12:26,007 --> 00:12:28,521
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Come in.

183
00:12:29,927 --> 00:12:32,919
- Isn't Mr Mainwaring in?
- He hasn't arrived yet.

184
00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:36,682
- (STARTS SOBBING)
- Oh, Mrs Pike, whatever is the matter?

185
00:12:36,847 --> 00:12:39,725
It's nothing, but I did want to see Mr Mainwaring.

186
00:12:39,887 --> 00:12:42,765
Mrs Pike, please tell me what this is all about.

187
00:12:43,407 --> 00:12:47,400
- It's Arthur. He's deceived me.
- I beg your pardon?

188
00:12:48,207 --> 00:12:50,880
He's been made manager of the bank
at Eastgate.

189
00:12:51,047 --> 00:12:56,405
I thought he'd be going over there every day
on the train, but he's joined the Eastgate Platoon.

190
00:12:56,567 --> 00:13:00,355
He's been made an officer
and he's gonna live over there!

191
00:13:00,527 --> 00:13:03,041
I shall never see him again!

192
00:13:03,207 --> 00:13:06,836
Of course you'll see him again.
Eastgate's only ten miles away.

193
00:13:07,007 --> 00:13:09,885
It might just as well be 100 miles away!

194
00:13:10,047 --> 00:13:12,163
Now, don't you worry, Mrs Pike.

195
00:13:12,327 --> 00:13:15,160
After a while, he'll come back to you and he'll say,

196
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:19,479
''All these weeks I've longed for the moment
when I could take you in my arms

197
00:13:19,647 --> 00:13:22,605
''and tell you how much I've missed you!''

198
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:25,886
- (CLEARS THROAT)
- What is it, Verger?

199
00:13:26,047 --> 00:13:29,039
Well, I, erm...I, erm... Oh, I'm sorry, Vicar.

200
00:13:29,207 --> 00:13:31,960
- What are you sorry about?
- Well, I, er...

201
00:13:32,127 --> 00:13:34,766
Tell me what it is you want. This is personal.

202
00:13:34,927 --> 00:13:38,044
- Yes, I can see that.
- Just state your business.

203
00:13:38,207 --> 00:13:41,677
It's the harmonium in the bell tower.
I can't push it on my own.

204
00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:45,317
I only want it moved away from the wall
where the damp patch is.

205
00:13:45,487 --> 00:13:47,478
I still can't manage it on my own.

206
00:13:47,647 --> 00:13:50,798
Mr Mainwaring's men will be here soon.
Get them to help.

207
00:13:50,967 --> 00:13:53,162
Very well, sir. Oh!

208
00:13:57,247 --> 00:13:59,715
I never thought I should live to see the day

209
00:13:59,887 --> 00:14:04,119
when His Reverence would become a victim
of wartime immorality.

210
00:14:04,287 --> 00:14:09,839
Now, don't you worry, Mrs Pike. I'm sure
everything will turn out all right in the end.

211
00:14:10,007 --> 00:14:14,398
- Good evening.
- Can't you do something about Arthur?

212
00:14:14,567 --> 00:14:17,081
I'm afraid it's out of my hands now, Mrs Pike.

213
00:14:17,247 --> 00:14:20,922
I don't know what's come over him.
Ambition's turned his head!

214
00:14:22,287 --> 00:14:26,485
# Oh, I'm the sergeant, the bully, bully sergeant

215
00:14:26,647 --> 00:14:30,640
# Come with me, you soon shall see
that a soldier's life is fine... #

216
00:14:36,847 --> 00:14:39,236
(MOUTHS WORDS)

217
00:15:01,207 --> 00:15:03,596
- Sergeant Jones!
- Coming, sir!

218
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:24,076
Oh, pity.

219
00:15:27,687 --> 00:15:29,803
Yes!

220
00:15:29,967 --> 00:15:32,356
(CLEARS THROAT)

221
00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:35,245
Platoon...

222
00:15:35,407 --> 00:15:38,240
Platoon, atten...'shun!

223
00:15:38,407 --> 00:15:40,557
As you were!

224
00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:45,437
Very sloppy, very sloppy indeed.

225
00:15:45,607 --> 00:15:50,397
Now, listen to me. There's gonna be
a few changes around here, you understand?

226
00:15:50,567 --> 00:15:55,766
I'm in charge now and you can have it
the easy way or you can have it the HARD way!

227
00:15:58,127 --> 00:16:00,118
The easy way's not very easy

228
00:16:00,287 --> 00:16:06,044
and the HARD way is very, very HAR-R-RD!

229
00:16:07,327 --> 00:16:11,240
Now, let's have a look at ye. Nyyyah!

230
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:16,115
Stand up straight, Pike!

231
00:16:16,287 --> 00:16:19,279
You're as peely-wally as a rotten banana!

232
00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:25,687
Ah, Godfrey, you'll have to pull your socks up,
will you no', or you'll be out on your ear!

233
00:16:25,847 --> 00:16:29,726
I'm not carrying any passengers in my platoon!

234
00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:34,805
A-ha. I'm watching you, Walker.

235
00:16:34,967 --> 00:16:38,846
Just put one foot wrong and I'll have ye!

236
00:16:39,007 --> 00:16:41,237
Do you get me?

237
00:16:41,407 --> 00:16:43,796
Last warning, Jones!

238
00:16:46,807 --> 00:16:52,439
Unless your drill improves,
I'll take that stripe away.

239
00:16:53,167 --> 00:16:56,637
Now...buck up your ideas, all of ye!

240
00:16:56,807 --> 00:17:00,686
And remember, my name's Sergeant Frazer!

241
00:17:00,847 --> 00:17:04,044
Frazer spelt B-A-S-T-A-R-D!

242
00:17:06,967 --> 00:17:09,845
- That's not really how you spell it, is it?
- Eh?

243
00:17:10,007 --> 00:17:13,044
The vicar says you've got to help
with the harmonium.

244
00:17:13,207 --> 00:17:16,199
- Me help with a harmonium?
- It's got to be shifted.

245
00:17:16,367 --> 00:17:20,565
Or perhaps you'd like me to tell the others
what you've just been saying.

246
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:24,399
- All right. Where is it?
- In the bell tower. Come on.

247
00:17:24,567 --> 00:17:29,561
You'd better take your jacket off as well.
It's hot work shifting that harmonium.

248
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:44,319
Platoon, atten...'shun!

249
00:17:45,247 --> 00:17:48,364
Right, now that I've been made up to sergeant,

250
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:52,122
I don't want you lot to worry
about me being too regimental.

251
00:17:56,367 --> 00:17:59,245
Now, for instance, when I call the roll,

252
00:17:59,407 --> 00:18:03,400
if there's someone who's not here
and he's a regular customer of mine

253
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:07,719
and he spends, say, two pounds or more a week,
I'll mark him here, present.

254
00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:14,518
On the other hand...if I find someone's
not cleaned his brasses, I'll overlook it,

255
00:18:14,687 --> 00:18:17,759
providing he buys the metal polish off me
to clean it.

256
00:18:17,927 --> 00:18:22,557
Excuse me, Mr Walker, excuse me! Could you
give me a hand to shift the harmonium?

257
00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:27,562
I don't know, not now I've been made a sergeant.
I don't think I ought to do that sort of thing.

258
00:18:27,727 --> 00:18:31,925
- Did you know I was made a sergeant?
- Very nice. Won't take a minute.

259
00:18:33,087 --> 00:18:35,078
Yeah, all right.

260
00:18:37,727 --> 00:18:40,116
Hello. I'd better take this jacket off.

261
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:45,158
Don't want to get my nice new stripes dirty.
It's dusty up in that bell tower.

262
00:18:47,207 --> 00:18:51,758
I really can't understand why Captain Mainwaring
promoted me to be sergeant.

263
00:18:51,927 --> 00:18:55,715
I'm not sure I can carry out the duties,
but I shall do my best.

264
00:18:55,887 --> 00:18:58,162
I'm sure you will, Mr Godfrey.

265
00:18:58,327 --> 00:19:00,841
Excuse me. I'm just going to wash my hands.

266
00:19:06,287 --> 00:19:09,518
- Hello, Pikey. Have you seen Mr Godfrey?
- He's in there.

267
00:19:09,687 --> 00:19:12,042
- Has he got his first-aid kit?
- Yes. Why?

268
00:19:12,207 --> 00:19:15,995
I cut my finger on my rifle bolt.
I wanted to put a bandage on it.

269
00:19:22,287 --> 00:19:24,755
Right, that was a good job well done, Taffy.

270
00:19:24,927 --> 00:19:30,001
I'm not here to shift furniture,
especially now that I'm a...

271
00:19:31,007 --> 00:19:32,998
Hud on, hud on!

272
00:19:33,687 --> 00:19:35,006
Blimey!

273
00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:40,082
- It must be a mistake.
- Of course it is. You can't have two sergeants!

274
00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:43,717
I'm going to see Mr Mainwaring.
There must be some mis...

275
00:19:44,887 --> 00:19:46,878
God!

276
00:19:50,007 --> 00:19:53,079
Very good, Captain Mainwaring.
I shall do as you say.

277
00:19:53,247 --> 00:19:55,807
Now then, platoon... Platoo-oon...

278
00:19:57,607 --> 00:19:58,960
Blimey!

279
00:19:59,127 --> 00:20:01,800
I really think you ought to speak to Mr Wilson.

280
00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:07,246
I'm having nothing more to do with it, Vicar.
I wash my hands of the entire affair.

281
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:12,435
Captain Mainwaring, I've fallen the private in.
What shall I do with the sergeants?

282
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:18,161
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Come in.

283
00:20:19,127 --> 00:20:21,118
Ah!

284
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,717
Well, I'm just off, sir.

285
00:20:23,887 --> 00:20:26,799
I thought I'd get the 9.30 to Eastgate.

286
00:20:29,407 --> 00:20:34,606
Why are you going now? It's only Wednesday.
You don't take up your position until Monday.

287
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,645
They've been having a lot of difficulty over there.

288
00:20:37,807 --> 00:20:42,358
The manager's been called up and Mr West
from Head Office will stay on in Eastgate

289
00:20:42,527 --> 00:20:45,041
in order to show me the ropes.

290
00:20:45,207 --> 00:20:47,675
Mr West of Head Office, eh?

291
00:20:48,367 --> 00:20:52,246
We ARE honoured.
Why are you travelling in uniform?

292
00:20:52,407 --> 00:20:55,479
I don't know. It's just sort of handy, you know.

293
00:20:55,647 --> 00:20:57,239
Rubbish!

294
00:20:58,207 --> 00:21:01,643
It's so you can parade along the platform
looking for salutes!

295
00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:03,923
- Why not? You did.
- How do you mean?

296
00:21:04,887 --> 00:21:07,606
The day you got your new uniform, I followed you.

297
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,406
- You followed me?
- Yes, I did.

298
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:15,436
I watched you go up and down the high street
looking for a serviceman to salute you.

299
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,679
- You had to make do with a Sea Scout.
- That's enough!

300
00:21:19,647 --> 00:21:24,437
- Say what you have to say and go.
- Would you like to come and see me off?

301
00:21:24,607 --> 00:21:27,883
Certainly not.
Our relationship ends here and now.

302
00:21:28,047 --> 00:21:33,167
Really, sir, after all we've been through together?
Can't we let bygones be bygones?

303
00:21:33,327 --> 00:21:35,716
Don't try to soft-soap me.

304
00:21:37,327 --> 00:21:39,318
Well, goodbye.

305
00:21:49,687 --> 00:21:51,678
Goodbye, sir.

306
00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:04,805
And if I did look for salutes, at least I did them
properly. That salute you gave me was rotten!

307
00:22:06,727 --> 00:22:10,879
- You've done very well these last three days.
- Thank you very much, sir.

308
00:22:11,047 --> 00:22:14,562
We had thought of promoting you
to manager several times.

309
00:22:14,727 --> 00:22:17,036
- Really?
- If it wasn't for Mainwaring,

310
00:22:17,207 --> 00:22:20,358
- you'd have had your branch ages ago.
- What did he say?

311
00:22:20,527 --> 00:22:23,485
He said that you didn't show enough initiative.

312
00:22:23,647 --> 00:22:25,877
Oh. Oh, did he?

313
00:22:26,047 --> 00:22:30,518
You've proved him wrong
and I think you'll make an excellent manager.

314
00:22:30,687 --> 00:22:33,281
- Thank you, sir.
- It's nearly one o'clock.

315
00:22:33,447 --> 00:22:37,918
I must close the bank and get back to London.
You're busy with the Home Guard?

316
00:22:38,087 --> 00:22:40,157
- That's right.
- Here are the keys.

317
00:22:40,327 --> 00:22:41,965
Thank you.

318
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:45,756
From Monday morning, Wilson,
you will be sitting in that chair.

319
00:22:45,927 --> 00:22:51,445
At nine o'clock, you will enter this office
and take your place at that desk as manager.

320
00:22:51,607 --> 00:22:54,246
How do you feel about it?

321
00:22:54,407 --> 00:22:57,956
Well...aw...awfully nice.

322
00:22:59,727 --> 00:23:03,515
- Good luck, Wilson.
- Thank you, sir. Thank you very much indeed.

323
00:23:03,687 --> 00:23:05,917
# Waltzing, waltzing high in the clouds

324
00:23:06,967 --> 00:23:09,640
# Drifting, dreaming, far from the crowds... #

325
00:23:09,807 --> 00:23:12,196
(WILSON) Good morning.

326
00:23:13,847 --> 00:23:18,238
Good morning. What a lovely day!
Good morning! See you in a moment or two.

327
00:23:57,527 --> 00:23:59,802
- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Come in.

328
00:24:01,007 --> 00:24:03,646
- Good morning, sir.
- Good morning, Mr Boyle.

329
00:24:03,807 --> 00:24:06,799
I have several important items
for you to deal with.

330
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:11,518
All in good time, Mr Boyle.
I'd rather like to have a word with the staff first.

331
00:24:12,247 --> 00:24:14,920
- Oh. Very well, sir.
- Right.

332
00:24:18,367 --> 00:24:22,838
Mr Wilson would like a word with you.
Will you all come into the office, please?

333
00:24:23,007 --> 00:24:28,604
I thought it might be a nice idea if we were to
have a chat, so that we get to know each other.

334
00:24:28,767 --> 00:24:31,759
- Yes, of course, sir.
- Right, come along, then.

335
00:24:31,927 --> 00:24:34,157
Quick as you can. That's it.

336
00:24:34,327 --> 00:24:37,239
Right, now, are we all here?

337
00:24:37,407 --> 00:24:42,162
Well, now, ladies and gentlemen,
before we start work today,

338
00:24:42,327 --> 00:24:45,797
I thought it might be nice
to meet you and have a word together.

339
00:24:45,967 --> 00:24:48,845
Now, I would like you to understand

340
00:24:49,007 --> 00:24:53,239
that I like to work
in a nice, quiet, relaxed kind of atmosphere.

341
00:24:53,407 --> 00:24:55,363
Do you understand?

342
00:24:55,527 --> 00:24:59,202
Now, if you have any worries,
I don't want you to be upset at all.

343
00:24:59,367 --> 00:25:01,835
Just come along to my office, tap on the door

344
00:25:02,007 --> 00:25:06,125
and as long as you see the name
''A Wilson - Manager'',

345
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:09,518
I want it to give you a feeling
of security and confidence

346
00:25:09,687 --> 00:25:13,839
to just tap on the door, come in
and I shall be here to look after you.

347
00:25:14,007 --> 00:25:16,475
- (AIR-RAID SIREN)
- There are one or two...

348
00:25:16,647 --> 00:25:19,878
There are the sirens.
We'd better go down to the shelter.

349
00:25:20,047 --> 00:25:24,916
Yes, I suppose we had.
Don't panic, don't panic. It's perfectly all right.

350
00:25:25,087 --> 00:25:28,318
We can do those papers in the shelter,
can't we, Mr Boyle?

351
00:25:28,487 --> 00:25:33,607
Come along, my dear. What a very pretty blouse
you're wearing. Where did you get that?

352
00:25:36,447 --> 00:25:38,438
I hope Uncle Arthur's all right.

353
00:25:38,607 --> 00:25:41,599
He'll be all right. The devil looks after his own.

354
00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:47,758
After all, they haven't had
one single bomb on Eastgate yet.

355
00:26:28,567 --> 00:26:32,526
- This is very upsetting, sir.
- The bank was completely gutted.

356
00:26:32,687 --> 00:26:35,201
- How are you going to carry on?
- We're not.

357
00:26:35,367 --> 00:26:40,043
We're going to close the Eastgate branch
and put all the business over to Hastings.

358
00:26:40,207 --> 00:26:43,005
Must be the shortest appointment in history.

359
00:26:44,567 --> 00:26:46,558
Well, how do you mean?

360
00:26:46,727 --> 00:26:52,484
At nine o'clock, the poor chap was manager of a
bank and at five past, he had no bank to manage.

361
00:26:54,167 --> 00:26:57,796
- How's he taking it?
- You can never tell with Wilson.

362
00:26:57,967 --> 00:27:00,765
He's not the sort of chap to show much emotion.

363
00:27:00,927 --> 00:27:04,283
Yes. Well, we must all carry on
doing our bit, Mainwaring.

364
00:27:04,447 --> 00:27:06,915
Yes. Yes, certainly we must, sir.

365
00:27:07,927 --> 00:27:09,679
Bye.

366
00:27:23,047 --> 00:27:25,038
Hello, Wilson. Come in.

367
00:27:25,727 --> 00:27:29,845
I've just had Head Office on the phone.
They're very sorry.

368
00:27:30,007 --> 00:27:31,599
Ah.

369
00:27:31,767 --> 00:27:35,999
And may I say how very sorry I am, too?
It's most unfortunate.

370
00:27:36,167 --> 00:27:38,362
Yes, it is. Most unfortunate.

371
00:27:38,527 --> 00:27:41,246
No, don't sit down. I'm rather busy.

372
00:27:43,087 --> 00:27:48,445
I've had a word with GHQ and they're
quite agreeable for you to keep your rank.

373
00:27:48,607 --> 00:27:51,121
- Oh, good, good.
- Yeah.

374
00:27:52,007 --> 00:27:55,283
Get them sewn on by tonight. That's all.

(You can still download original subtitle by click on "download subtitle" button below)

Dad's Army S4E12 Uninvited Guests.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:04,006 --> 00:00:08,284
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,446 --> 00:00:12,485
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,486 --> 00:00:18,276
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,446 --> 00:00:23,042
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:28,041
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,206 --> 00:00:31,994
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:37,642
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:37,806 --> 00:00:42,516
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,686 --> 00:00:47,441
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,606 --> 00:00:51,394
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:53,566 --> 00:00:58,924
Now, there's no doubt about it that
in modern warfare, communications are vital.

12
00:00:59,086 --> 00:01:04,877
So I have sent a strong letter to the War Office
demanding that we should have wireless sets.

13
00:01:05,046 --> 00:01:08,083
And the strong letter demanding Bren guns, sir?

14
00:01:08,246 --> 00:01:11,636
We're not discussing guns now, Wilson.

15
00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:16,482
Now, in the event of the wireless sets
not arriving before Adolf kicks off,

16
00:01:16,646 --> 00:01:19,956
I intend to capture some from his first wave.

17
00:01:20,126 --> 00:01:25,439
Sir, I volunteer to be in charge of the Nazi
wireless set capturing party. I'd enjoy that.

18
00:01:25,606 --> 00:01:27,676
All right, we'll come to that later.

19
00:01:27,846 --> 00:01:33,796
I suggest that we use bayonets, so we do not
destroy the Nazi wireless machines with bullets.

20
00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:36,685
Good suggestion. I'll make a note of that.

21
00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:40,361
Having obtained wireless sets,
how do we send a message?

22
00:01:40,526 --> 00:01:46,203
They usual ...

Dad's Army S4E13 Fallen Idol.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:04,078 --> 00:00:08,674
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,838 --> 00:00:12,911
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,758 --> 00:00:18,468
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,638 --> 00:00:23,234
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:28,153
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,318 --> 00:00:32,391
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,078 --> 00:00:37,868
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:42,714
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,878 --> 00:00:47,747
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,918 --> 00:00:52,275
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:01:00,278 --> 00:01:04,669
Ah. Captain Mainwaring and the
Walmington-on-Sea Platoon are a bit late.

12
00:01:04,838 --> 00:01:07,227
They're using their own transport, sir.

13
00:01:07,398 --> 00:01:10,515
It's a butcher's van.
They made it into an armoured car.

14
00:01:10,678 --> 00:01:14,910
- Very ingenious, these Home Guards.
- Yes, sir. They're very keen as well.

15
00:01:15,078 --> 00:01:18,468
- A bit too keen if you ask me.
- You all right, sir?

16
00:01:18,638 --> 00:01:21,516
Oh, it's this damn twitch I've developed.

17
00:01:21,678 --> 00:01:25,466
I've been running this school of explosives
for over a year now.

18
00:01:25,638 --> 00:01:30,075
Only when we got Home Guards for weekend
courses did I get a confounded twitch!

19
00:01:30,238 --> 00:01:34,231
- You could do with a spot of leave, sir.
- They've no idea of the danger.

20
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:36,992
They're mad keen, charging all over the place.

21
00:01:37,158 --> 00:01:41,151
One of these days,
they'll blow themselves sky-high! I just know it!

22
00:01:41,318 --> 00:01:43,912
Never mind, sir. This is the last of ...

Dad's Army S4E1 The Big Parade.srt
show preview

ÿþ1
00:00:03,807 --> 00:00:08,403
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:12,640
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,487 --> 00:00:18,197
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:22,963
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,127 --> 00:00:27,882
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,047 --> 00:00:32,120
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,047 --> 00:00:37,598
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:42,443
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:47,476
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:52,004
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:55,247 --> 00:00:59,843
(GERMAN ACCENT) Bear north-east.
Follow telegraph poles.

12
00:01:00,007 --> 00:01:04,762
(ENGLISH ACCENT) Look out for?
(GERMAN ACC ...

Dad's Army S4E2 Don't Forget The Diver.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:03,807 --> 00:00:08,403
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:12,640
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,487 --> 00:00:18,197
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,367 --> 00:00:22,963
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,127 --> 00:00:27,882
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,047 --> 00:00:32,120
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,047 --> 00:00:37,598
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:37,767 --> 00:00:42,443
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:47,476
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:52,004
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:54,407 --> 00:00:59,527
There we were, in the desert,
no food and, what was worse, no water.

12
00:00:59,687 --> 00:01:04,044
And Johnny Turk sniping at us all the time.
Ha-ha-ha!

13
00:01:04,207 --> 00:01:08,280
My tongue was so swollen,
it filled my entire mouth.

14
00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:12,759
I would have sold my soul to the devil for a drink.

15
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:17,079
- Would you like another, sir?
- Thank you, Sergeant. Very good of you.

16
00:01:17,247 --> 00:01:19,124
Same again, please.

17
00:01:19,287 --> 00:01:24,281
We don't see you gentlemen from
the Eastgate platoon in these parts very often.

18
00:01:24,447 --> 00:01:29,396
- We're here about the big exercise on Sunday.
- What exercise is that?

19
00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:33,401
- All the local Home Guard units are taking part.
- That's enough, Sergeant.

20
00:01:33,567 --> 00:01:37,321
Careless talk, you know, what?
Careless talk, eh? Ha-ha-ha!

21
00:01:37,487 --> 00:01:40,365
Now, where-where-where was I?

22
00:01:42,247 --> 00:01:45,045
In the desert, dying of thirst.

23
00:01:45,207 --> 00:01:48,279
Oh, t ...

Dad's Army S4E3 Boots Boots Boots.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:03,958 --> 00:00:08,668
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler #

2
00:00:08,838 --> 00:00:13,195
# If you think we're on the run? #

3
00:00:13,358 --> 00:00:18,512
# We are the boys who will stop your little game #

4
00:00:18,678 --> 00:00:23,308
# We are the boys
who will make you think again #

5
00:00:23,478 --> 00:00:28,154
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler #

6
00:00:28,318 --> 00:00:32,630
# If you think old England's done? #

7
00:00:33,078 --> 00:00:37,868
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21 #

8
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:42,668
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun #

9
00:00:42,838 --> 00:00:47,593
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler #

10
00:00:47,758 --> 00:00:52,434
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:54,398 --> 00:00:56,389
So to sum up...

12
00:00:56,558 --> 00:00:59,914
Whatever form of transport we use,
whether it be bicycles, van

13
00:01:00,078 --> 00:01:03,593
or any other form of vehicular transport,

14
00:01:03,758 --> 00:01:09,754
the whole thing boils down to one thing
in the end - the three Fs.

15
00:01:14,478 --> 00:01:20,713
Fast feet, functional feet
and, last but not least, fit feet.

16
00:01:22,438 --> 00:01:27,432
I have got here two diagrams
issued by the Royal Army Medical Corps,

17
00:01:27,598 --> 00:01:29,236
and the first one...

18
00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:36,587
..shows...what a good foot should be.

19
00:01:38,478 --> 00:01:43,108
Take the first metatarsal here...

20
00:01:43,278 --> 00:01:45,473
- Permission to speak, sir?
- Yes.

21
00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:48,516
I am not formed as other men, sir.

22
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:56,033
- My foot's not the same as that, sir.
- Blimey, don't tell me they're webbed!

23
00:01:56,958 --> 00:02:00,473
That'll do, Walker.
In what way is your foot different, Jones?

24
00:02:00,638 --> 00:02:05,63 ...

Dad's Army S4E4 Sergeant - Save My Boy!.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:08,748
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,918 --> 00:00:12,388
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,558 --> 00:00:18,678
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,838 --> 00:00:23,309
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,478 --> 00:00:28,347
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,518 --> 00:00:32,067
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,238 --> 00:00:37,993
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:38,158 --> 00:00:42,788
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:47,827
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,998 --> 00:00:52,469
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:56,630
Pay attention, everyone.

12
00:00:56,798 --> 00:01:00,711
I've brought you to the Scouts' dressing room
because the vicar has made a special request

13
00:01:00,878 --> 00:01:03,995
to hold some function or other in the main hall.

14
00:01:04,478 --> 00:01:11,111
I want to review the disposition of our troops
in the somewhat broader...

15
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:13,473
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.

16
00:01:14,558 --> 00:01:18,153
..broader strategical picture as it now is.

17
00:01:18,318 --> 00:01:20,627
In other words, where to tell Jonesy
to stick his bayonet?

18
00:01:20,798 --> 00:01:22,390
Listen, Walker...

19
00:01:22,558 --> 00:01:30,795
Now, Hitler is across the Channel here,
licking the wounds we inflicted on him at Dunkirk.

20
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:34,553
But make no mistake,
he is a desperate and dangerous man.

21
00:01:34,718 --> 00:01:39,189
Perhaps even more so now that he's become
enmeshed with our ally the Russian bear.

22
00:01:39,358 --> 00:01:43,397
- I always thought they were communists.
- We won't go into that now, Godfrey.

23 ...

Dad's Army S4E5 Don't Fence Me In.srt
show preview

ÿþ1
00:00:04,007 --> 00:00:08,478
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,647 --> 00:00:12,322
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:18,363
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,527 --> 00:00:22,998
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:27,922
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,087 --> 00:00:32,205
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,007 --> 00:00:37,637
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:37,807 --> 00:00:42,437
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:47,556
# So who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,727 --> 00:00:51,845
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:54,047 --> 00:00:56,436
Yes. Yes, I realise that, sir.

12
00:00:56,607 --> 00:00:59,485
But I can't ask my men to do that.

13
00:00:59,647 --> 00:01:02,2 ...

Dad's Army S4E6 Absent Friends.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:03,942 --> 00:00:08,732
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,902 --> 00:00:13,020
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,902 --> 00:00:18,612
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,782 --> 00:00:23,094
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,262 --> 00:00:28,097
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,382 --> 00:00:32,898
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,062 --> 00:00:37,772
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:37,942 --> 00:00:42,572
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,742 --> 00:00:47,691
# So who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,862 --> 00:00:51,980
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:58,898
# A room with a view and you

12
00:00:59,582 --> 00:01:02,096
# No one to worry us, no one to hurry us

13
00:01:02,782 --> 00:01:04,852
# Through this dream we've found

14
00:01:05,022 --> 00:01:08,571
# We'll bill and we'll...coo... #

15
00:01:13,262 --> 00:01:16,095
Hello, sir. Wasn't expecting you
until tomorrow morning.

16
00:01:16,262 --> 00:01:17,695
No, I didn't go to London after all.

17
00:01:17,862 --> 00:01:22,014
- Lodge meeting cancelled?
- No, my wife didn't want to be alone all night.

18
00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,855
- I see.
- These air raids trouble the womenfolk.

19
00:01:25,022 --> 00:01:27,217
- Of course they do.
- Yes.

20
00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:31,091
- Time for parade?
- Erm...just about, sir. Yes.

21
00:01:31,262 --> 00:01:33,856
- Right.
- Th-there's no need for you to stay.

22
00:01:34,022 --> 00:01:36,900
- We weren't expecting you.
- That's all right.

23
00:01:37,062 --> 00:01:42,056
Give them some map reading and
I'll give a lecture on the future conduct of the war.

24
00:01:42,222 --> 00:01:45,658
- I could do that for y ...

Dad's Army S4E7 Put That Light Out!.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:08,819
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,990 --> 00:00:12,426
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,590 --> 00:00:18,710
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,870 --> 00:00:23,421
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,590 --> 00:00:28,266
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,430 --> 00:00:32,218
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,110 --> 00:00:38,138
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:42,747
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:47,779
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,950 --> 00:00:52,546
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:54,790 --> 00:00:57,145
To wage war successfully,

12
00:00:57,310 --> 00:01:01,781
every commander in the field
should put himself in the enemy's shoes

13
00:01:01,950 --> 00:01:05,989
and see the situation from their point of view.

14
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:12,942
So, I ask myself, if I were in Adolf's shoes,
what would Adolf be thinking?

15
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:15,988
He'd be wondering
what you were doing with his shoes on!

16
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:19,101
Amusing, Walker, but it doesn't help.

17
00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:24,060
Sir, he'd probably be thinking,
''I wonder what they've been up to.''

18
00:01:24,710 --> 00:01:28,339
Quite right, Corporal,
and what have we been up to since Dunkirk?

19
00:01:28,510 --> 00:01:31,149
He'd have to come and look to find out.

20
00:01:31,310 --> 00:01:37,180
Hey, that air-raid warden in Gardenia Gardens
looks like Herr Hitler.

21
00:01:39,950 --> 00:01:42,669
No, Pike, I don't think
Hitler would come personally.

22
00:01:42,830 --> 00:01:44,980
Why not? Hess did.

23
00:01:45,150 --> 00:01:50,941
I think he'd send a recce party in a submari ...

Dad's Army S4E8 The Two and a Half Feathers.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:03,807 --> 00:00:08,403
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,567 --> 00:00:12,879
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,567 --> 00:00:18,163
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,327 --> 00:00:23,003
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:28,002
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,167 --> 00:00:32,922
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:33,087 --> 00:00:37,683
# Mr Brown goes off to town on the 8.21

8
00:00:37,847 --> 00:00:42,443
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

9
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:47,442
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

10
00:00:47,607 --> 00:00:52,397
# If you think old England's done? #

11
00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:02,159
- What are you going to have, Wilson?
- Toad in the hole, sir.

12
00:01:02,327 --> 00:01:05,125
I think I'll try the fish and potato pie.

13
00:01:05,287 --> 00:01:08,597
We'd better get in the queue
before the rush starts.

14
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,398
- Soup?
- No, thank you.

15
00:01:16,567 --> 00:01:19,559
Could I have a piece of toad in the hole, please?

16
00:01:20,647 --> 00:01:23,286
Toad coming up.

17
00:01:23,447 --> 00:01:25,597
- One toad.
- Thank you.

18
00:01:26,527 --> 00:01:29,166
Could I have just a little bit more toad?

19
00:01:29,327 --> 00:01:34,401
Only half a toad per portion per person.
There's a war on, you know. Next.

20
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,558
Fish pie, please.

21
00:01:38,047 --> 00:01:39,605
What sort of fish is it?

22
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,120
- Snoek.
- Pardon?

23
00:01:41,287 --> 00:01:42,686
Snoek.

24
00:01:44,167 --> 00:01:49,560
- Could I have toad in the hole instead, please?
- I wish you'd make up your mind.

25
00:01:50,967 --> 00:01:54,642
- Carrots and swede?
- Yes, please. Thank you.

26
00: ...

Dad's Army S4E9 Mum's Army.srt
show preview

ÿþ1
00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:08,482
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,646 --> 00:00:13,037
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,686 --> 00:00:18,476
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,646 --> 00:00:23,003
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:28,035
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,206 --> 00:00:32,404
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:37,886 --> 00:00:42,562
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

8
00:00:42,726 --> 00:00:47,641
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

9
00:00:47,806 --> 00:00:52,402
# If you think old England's done? #

10
00:00:54,446 --> 00:00:57,040
Platoon, stand at ease!

11
00:00:57,206 --> 00:00:59,800
Atten'shun!

12
00:01:00,766 --> 00:01:04,281
- Try and do it with the others, Jonesy.
- Sorry, Sergeant.

13
00:01:04,446 --> 00:01:07,119
Thank  ...

Dad's Army S4E10 The Test.srt
show preview Edit/Synchronize subtitle

1
00:00:04,085 --> 00:00:08,601
# Who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

2
00:00:08,765 --> 00:00:12,997
# If you think we're on the run?

3
00:00:13,685 --> 00:00:18,600
# We are the boys who will stop your little game

4
00:00:18,765 --> 00:00:23,122
# We are the boys
who will make you think again

5
00:00:23,285 --> 00:00:28,154
# 'Cause who do you think you are kidding,
Mr Hitler

6
00:00:28,325 --> 00:00:32,955
# If you think old England's done?

7
00:00:37,925 --> 00:00:42,555
# But he comes home each evening
and he's ready with his gun

8
00:00:42,725 --> 00:00:47,594
# So who do you think you are kidding, Mr Hitler

9
00:00:47,765 --> 00:00:52,555
# If you think old England's done? #

10
00:00:58,485 --> 00:01:00,476
Stand at ease!

11
00:01:03,805 --> 00:01:06,160
Stand easy.

12
00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:10,113
I was disappointed at the turn-out
on church parade last Sunday.

13
00:01:10,285 --> 00:01:13,482
I know some of you think
this is rather a waste of time,

14
00:01:13,645 --> 00:01:18,799
but I'd just like to remind you that during Dunkirk,
His Majesty the King called for a day of prayer.

15
00:01:18,965 --> 00:01:21,274
You have to admit that worked damn well.

16
00:01:21,445 --> 00:01:25,233
I was delivering essential supplies
to a company of ATS girls.

17
00:01:25,405 --> 00:01:31,560
- Couldn't you have waited till the afternoon?
- I could, but they couldn't 'cause it was elastic.

18
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:35,115
- It was for their knickers.
- Yes, all right, all right!

19
00:01:37,245 --> 00:01:40,555
I also noticed, Pike,
that your hair was rather too long.

20
00:01:40,725 --> 00:01:44,115
Very untidy, right down to the top of your collar.
Get it cut.

21
00:01:44,285 --> 00:01:47,197
- Yes.
- Yours is rather long, too, Wilson.

22
00:01:47,965 --> 00:01:50,274
You're not a violin player, you know!

23
00:01:52,125 --> 00:01:56,243
 ...