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1
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,641
Everyone has their path in life,

2
00:00:43,743 --> 00:00:46,337
and this is more or less
where mine started.

3
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:50,849
My name is Norbit Albert Rice,
and I was an orphan.

4
00:00:56,256 --> 00:00:58,247
I like to think my parents
loved me very much,

5
00:00:58,358 --> 00:01:00,986
but just didn't have the means
to properly care for me.

6
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:04,222
I can see them researching
all of the orphanages in the area,

7
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:06,230
agonizing over their choices,

8
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,596
trying to make sure
their precious little boy

9
00:01:08,701 --> 00:01:11,602
was raised in the perfect environment.

10
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:30,120
Ling Ling! Someone left another one!

11
00:01:31,391 --> 00:01:33,882
Coyotes, go! Get! Back! Back, coyotes!

12
00:01:34,794 --> 00:01:37,922
Get out here! You not eat another baby.

13
00:01:45,772 --> 00:01:48,798
Oh, crap. Another black one.

14
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,474
Can't give these away.

15
00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:57,214
You ugly black one, too.
You be here long time.

16
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,783
Nobody ever come and say,
"Give me the ugly, black one."

17
00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:04,081
You very ugly baby.
The ugliest baby I ever seen.

18
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,221
A lot of people think
that orphanages are cold and scary,

19
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,057
but the Golden Wonton
was a great place to grow up.

20
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:13,860
We had everything
normal children had. Pets...

21
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:17,062
Here. Play with that.

22
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:23,571
...a big backyard,
and lots of kids to play with.

23
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,276
Ling Ling!
The children got in MSG barrel.

24
00:02:27,380 --> 00:02:29,348
Now all their hair gonna fall out again.

25
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:32,680
You stupid orphan!
Nobody want a bald orphan!

26
00:02:32,785 --> 00:02:35,310
Norbit, how you find family with no hair?

27
00:02:35,922 --> 00:02:37,389
Nobody want a bald Norbit!

28
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,788
What the hell wrong
with the children here?

29
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,259
Mr. Wong was a very interesting man.

30
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:46,492
In addition to his love for children
and preparation of fine Asian cuisine,

31
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,591
he had a real passion
for old-time whaling.

32
00:02:49,702 --> 00:02:51,670
It's a whale, ho!

33
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,739
Die, you son-of-a!

34
00:02:58,878 --> 00:03:01,438
Bingo! Right in the blow hole!

35
00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:08,550
Norbit, where you go?
Why you run off like little bitch?

36
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:13,087
After Marvin Browning got lost
downtown for a couple of weeks,

37
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,354
the orphanage started using
a buddy system.

38
00:03:15,461 --> 00:03:16,485
Go, Norbit!

39
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,530
My buddy was little Kate.

40
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,998
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!

41
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:27,196
That's okay. You're doing good.

42
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:35,904
Kate and I were always together.
Playing checkers...

43
00:03:36,115 --> 00:03:38,583
- Oh, man.
- Yes!

44
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,147
...watching scary movies.

45
00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:48,686
Why, we even pooped together.

46
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:54,232
And then one day, Kate and I decided
that we should tie the knot.

47
00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:57,167
We got married
under the great big oak tree.

48
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,704
I now pronounce you my wife.

49
00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,402
And I pronounce you my husband.

50
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:07,210
It's watermelon.

51
00:04:07,547 --> 00:04:09,378
Yours is green apple.

52
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:15,221
I think it's time for us to kiss now.

53
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,189
And we lived happily ever after

54
00:04:25,732 --> 00:04:29,498
for about two weeks
until she got adopted.

55
00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:35,435
Bye, Norbit.

56
00:04:36,342 --> 00:04:39,470
I didn't do too much bike riding
after that.

57
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,948
When Kate left, there was an
odd number of kids at the orphanage,

58
00:04:45,051 --> 00:04:47,986
so I was buddyless for a while.

59
00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:51,952
And sometimes I'd get a little sad,

60
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:59,262
but I never lost hope.

61
00:04:59,365 --> 00:05:03,631
I knew that someday I'd find
another somebody to share my life with.

62
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:07,035
All I had to do was just be patient.

63
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:13,007
- What'd you do that for?
- Because we felt like it.

64
00:05:13,112 --> 00:05:15,512
- What are you gonna do about it?
- What are you gonna do about it?

65
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:16,582
Loser.

66
00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:20,380
Stop it.

67
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:28,793
Leave him alone.

68
00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:30,829
- Says who?
- Says who?

69
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:37,635
- Who are you?
- Rasputia. What's your name?

70
00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:42,465
- Norbit.
- Norbit? That's a stupid name.

71
00:05:42,775 --> 00:05:46,040
- Why'd you beat those boys up?
- To protect you.

72
00:05:46,145 --> 00:05:49,945
- You got a girlfriend, Nesbit?
- Norbit.

73
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:51,912
No.

74
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,977
Well, you do now.
Get your ass up and hold my hand.

75
00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:59,122
- Okay.
- How you doing?

76
00:06:00,326 --> 00:06:03,989
Everything changed
once I had Rasputia as my girlfriend.

77
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,224
We took care of each other,

78
00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,860
and the other kids
started to respect me.

79
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,528
I'll take...

80
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,514
- Norbit.
- Come on.

81
00:06:23,816 --> 00:06:27,752
And because of Rasputia,
for the first time in my life,

82
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:30,914
I had a real family.

83
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:33,218
Rasputia had three brothers.

84
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:35,817
Big Black Jack. He was the oldest.

85
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,088
Leg.

86
00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:41,465
Then, there was Blue.

87
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,958
Breasts.

88
00:06:45,204 --> 00:06:47,968
And Earl. He was the baby.

89
00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:49,336
Wing.

90
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:52,641
They sure loved their little sister,

91
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:55,043
and so they treated me
like one of their own.

92
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:58,015
Here you go, Norbit.
Saved the best piece for you.

93
00:06:58,317 --> 00:07:02,117
- What's that?
- Turkey ass. Eat up, sucker.

94
00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,017
Bon appetitty.

95
00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:08,283
Bon appetitty.

96
00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:10,926
The Latimores had a reputation

97
00:07:11,063 --> 00:07:13,964
for being the meanest,
nastiest people in town,

98
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:16,728
but that's just because
folks didn't know them.

99
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:19,498
They were actually
very nice, hard-working people.

100
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,805
They ran
the local construction company,

101
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,936
and recently, responding to the needs
of the community...

102
00:07:26,045 --> 00:07:27,034
Yo, Morris.

103
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,944
...had opened a little security business.

104
00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:33,916
It was a surprisingly popular service
among the local vendors.

105
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:37,751
Hey, you don't shake me down.
I'm Italian. I shake you down.

106
00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:39,381
- Is that right?
- Yes.

107
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:41,221
Get his ass in here.

108
00:07:48,601 --> 00:07:49,659
I'm in.

109
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:56,272
As time passed,
Rasputia and I got closer and closer,

110
00:07:56,809 --> 00:08:01,109
in high school and as adults.

111
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,918
I started working as a bookkeeper
in her family's business.

112
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:09,587
I'm expecting
some important calls today, Norbit,

113
00:08:09,689 --> 00:08:11,324
so when you answer the phone,
try and sound white.

114
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:11,915
so when you answer the phone,
try and sound white.

115
00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:14,652
It was like everything was
finally coming together.

116
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:15,727
Yes.

117
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:19,626
Of course,
it was only natural that Rasputia and I

118
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,326
would take the next step
in our relationship.

119
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:25,962
I now pronounce you man and wife.

120
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,232
You may kiss the bride.

121
00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:57,095
Open your mouth.

122
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,771
Go, Rasputia!

123
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:11,806
It was a storybook wedding,

124
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:14,648
the beginning of a brand-new chapter.

125
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:21,092
I knew I would never be lonely again.
I had found my place in the world.

126
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,187
Poor Norbit. Man.

127
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,766
Back when I was in the game,
I used to tell my hos,

128
00:09:27,867 --> 00:09:32,566
"Hos, ain't no man gonna pay for
the cow if he can get the milk for free."

129
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:35,106
You ain't got to worry
about this brother buying the milk,

130
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:38,005
'cause he just bought
the whole damn cow.

131
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:39,943
That's a special cow, too.

132
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:41,843
That must be
where buttermilk come from.

133
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,506
Sing that shit, girl.

134
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,481
Them are not dimples.
Them are potholes in her ass.

135
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,884
Look like an Escalade
in a wedding dress.

136
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,593
It a horror show.

137
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:58,994
Norbit. What a woman you got.

138
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,032
- Hi, fellows.
- We're all jealous, right, boys?

139
00:10:01,133 --> 00:10:04,625
- Oh, yeah. Way jealous.
- Wish I had one like that.

140
00:10:04,737 --> 00:10:07,672
Norbit, let me talk to you for a second.

141
00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:11,134
Look, just so we clear.

142
00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:16,680
If you ever hurt my sister in any way,

143
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:21,515
make her cry,
even make her sad one time,

144
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:26,249
I'm coming at you
with razor blades and lemon juice.

145
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,455
- You hear me?
- Yes.

146
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,620
I'm talking pain, boy.

147
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,893
Searing, mind-numbing pain.

148
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,467
I understand.

149
00:10:35,568 --> 00:10:37,763
- You understand me?
- Yes, yes, yes.

150
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,167
All right.

151
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,604
- Welcome to the family.
- Thank you.

152
00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,707
Somebody is take
a big hunk out of my cake!

153
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:58,584
What y'all looking at?
I ain't had no cake.

154
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,285
You better mind your damn business.

155
00:11:06,399 --> 00:11:10,631
Hey, hey! Everyone!

156
00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:13,364
I am Mr. Wong.
I am best man in wedding.

157
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:18,842
I feel it my place to say something,
make a toast to bride and groom,

158
00:11:18,944 --> 00:11:21,845
tell story about Norbit.
I like Norbit father.

159
00:11:21,947 --> 00:11:24,575
I raise Norbit. He like my own child.

160
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:28,085
And I want to say that
I very, very confused, Norbit,

161
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,485
that you... You marry Latimore.

162
00:11:30,589 --> 00:11:34,389
I don't understand it, because
when you was a little boy, you say,

163
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:39,829
"One day I find the girl of my dreams."
And then you marry a gorilla.

164
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,559
I joke, I joke, I joke.

165
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:45,603
Why you not know joke
when you hear joke?

166
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:48,265
Why you wanna make fight at wedding?

167
00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:52,743
Cool off, before I have to
bust somebody ass in here. Okay.

168
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,642
When Norbit just little boy,

169
00:11:55,748 --> 00:12:01,050
he like to always
run all over place naked. Always naked.

170
00:12:01,620 --> 00:12:05,818
And Norbit, when he was just little boy,
had a pee-pee the size of an egg roll.

171
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:10,189
- You know, Norbit.
- That's true.

172
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:14,093
And one day, down by creek,
Norbit run around naked

173
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,102
and poisonous snake jump up
and bite Norbit right on ass.

174
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,940
Very close to hole.

175
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:27,068
Norbit pass out. I think Norbit is dead.

176
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:31,309
I go to check the boy pulse.
He still alive. He still alive!

177
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:35,080
"Okay," I say,
"I must do something to save child."

178
00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:37,212
So, I start to think,

179
00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:43,284
"Do I suck poison out of Norbit's ass
or do I let him die?"

180
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,858
I do the most responsible thing.

181
00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:51,959
I say, "Hell to the no!

182
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,971
"Norbit is out of here,

183
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,973
"because it is long time in hell

184
00:12:56,075 --> 00:12:59,442
"before Wong suck poison
out of another man's ass."

185
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:06,415
But strange, mystical thing
happen, Norbit.

186
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:09,613
Even though poison is in Norbit,
he not die.

187
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:13,180
Norbit get stronger and stronger.

188
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:17,695
That why I know, Norbit,
deep down inside, you very, very strong.

189
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,890
You strong like warrior.

190
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:23,230
That's why I say to you, Norbit,
you can survive anything.

191
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:24,899
Even...

192
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:30,002
So I say to everyone here, and to Norbit,

193
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:34,739
I wish you much happiness and peace
and love,

194
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:39,477
and lots of bananas for your new gorilla.

195
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,520
I only kidding. To Norbit and Rasputia.

196
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:46,086
Norbit, you know
what would be so romantic?

197
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:50,253
If you'd carry me over the threshold
like a little chocolate drop.

198
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,396
Be delicate, now.

199
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,937
Put your back into it.

200
00:14:03,242 --> 00:14:06,473
Come on, now. Be a man.
You ain't no man.

201
00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:08,610
Pathetic.

202
00:14:12,284 --> 00:14:16,186
Rasputia, I know we're both nervous
because we've never done this before,

203
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:19,815
but we can take our time, darling.
In sweet time.

204
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:29,499
Rasputia was so full of love.

205
00:14:32,137 --> 00:14:33,502
Merry Christmas!

206
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:37,404
Ho, ho, ho!

207
00:14:37,509 --> 00:14:40,034
It was a love that sustained us
through the years.

208
00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:41,237
Halt!

209
00:14:44,283 --> 00:14:46,843
187. Officer down.

210
00:14:46,986 --> 00:14:49,147
And it's still going strong.

211
00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:51,647
Happy Presidents' Day!

212
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,490
God bless America.

213
00:14:57,796 --> 00:15:02,631
And so, we began our life together,
like any other happily married couple.

214
00:15:02,835 --> 00:15:04,462
Morning, Rasputia.

215
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,060
"Morning, Rasputia," my ass.

216
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,298
I tell you what. You better do something
about that goddamn dog,

217
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,567
because I ain't gonna be
getting terrorized

218
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,972
by no dog on my own property.

219
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,271
I'm sick of it! I'm gonna go out
and purchase me a pellet rifle!

220
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,846
And then I'm gonna give him
something to bark about

221
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:18,508
when I start popping pellets
in his little bug-eyed bastard's ass.

222
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:23,076
Messing around with you,
now I'm gonna be late for dance class.

223
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:30,353
God damn it, Norbit.

224
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:33,454
How many times I got to tell you, when
you drive my car, don't adjust my seat!

225
00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,966
- I haven't touched your seat.
- Then why is it up so damn far?

226
00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:40,266
It looks like it's back
as far as it goes, Rasputia.

227
00:15:40,472 --> 00:15:41,905
No, you moved it. I can tell, 'cause look,

228
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,942
when I inhale,
my titty make the horn honk. Listen.

229
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,306
You see that?

230
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:50,145
- That ain't right.
- I hear it.

231
00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:53,343
That scientifically prove
that you was adjusting my seat.

232
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,545
- That's not science.
- It is. Now just let it go.

233
00:15:55,654 --> 00:15:58,054
- It's not science.
- I said let it go.

234
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,853
- I'm just...
- I said it was science, God damn it.

235
00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:10,357
Why you think I want to sell
Golden Wonton Restaurant?

236
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,663
I got a good business.

237
00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:14,295
It practically run itself.
I make a lot of money here.

238
00:16:14,406 --> 00:16:20,675
Every man got a price.
We think this might be yours.

239
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:38,930
And here is my counteroffer.

240
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:49,001
- Excuse me.
- All right, it's go time.

241
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:56,876
I not like rest of town people.
I not intimidated by Latimore.

242
00:16:56,982 --> 00:17:00,782
- You wrong, Wong. Relax, man.
- Be cool with that thing, Mr. Wong.

243
00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:02,581
Ling Ling, get my pistol!

244
00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:05,748
That dude is crazy.
Let's get the hell out of here!

245
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,419
I never sell to Latimore! Ever! Ever!

246
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,463
All right! Y'all ready, class?
Are y'all ready?

247
00:17:15,567 --> 00:17:19,162
We gonna perforate!
We gonna penetrate!

248
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:20,802
We gonna percolate!

249
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:22,671
We gonna palpitate!

250
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:28,039
All because we wanna master the bate,
the art of power-tap the fat.

251
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,383
Come on, and power-tap the fat.
Take that, power-tap the fat.

252
00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,314
Hey, you get your skinny ass
out of my way.

253
00:17:33,419 --> 00:17:36,149
One, two, three, four.
I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.

254
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:39,383
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.

255
00:17:39,491 --> 00:17:43,154
I stepped in poo, better wipe it off.
One, two, three, four.

256
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:46,288
Ride the horse. Ride the horse!

257
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:51,465
Keep bucking, y'all!
Keep bucking! And slide!

258
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:55,768
Click clackety clack! Come on, slide!
Click clackety clack! Just slide!

259
00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:59,275
Here come the cops.
Here come the cops.

260
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:02,677
They take me to jail.
They take me to jail.

261
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:06,114
Riverdance. Come on, white people.
Riverdance. Come on, white people.

262
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,947
Riverdance. Come on.

263
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:09,918
Now, pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump me up.

264
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,614
Pump, pump, pump, pump,
pump me down.

265
00:18:11,723 --> 00:18:17,252
And one, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

266
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:20,627
And stretch it out.
Work your whole bicuspids area,

267
00:18:20,732 --> 00:18:24,600
your whole bilaterals and bisexuals.
Very good.

268
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,068
Excuse me, Buster?

269
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,798
I think I need
a little adjustment over here.

270
00:18:27,906 --> 00:18:30,033
Look at you,
looking like the Great Pumpkin, girl.

271
00:18:30,142 --> 00:18:31,939
Trick or treat. What's going on?

272
00:18:32,044 --> 00:18:35,275
Well, see, I was born with a trick hip
and it made me real bendy.

273
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:37,871
See, I'm just like licorice. Look.

274
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:41,309
Goddamn, girl,
that look like the harvest moon.

275
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,651
- Turn a brother to a werewolf.
- You just need to stop.

276
00:18:44,756 --> 00:18:48,021
You know what?
Do you do any private lessons?

277
00:18:48,927 --> 00:18:52,158
I could do private lessons
if you could do me a little favor.

278
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,322
What's that?

279
00:18:53,432 --> 00:18:58,062
Just need you talk to your little brothers
about funding my little video tape.

280
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,933
I'm trying to make power-tap
more international.

281
00:19:00,038 --> 00:19:01,596
I'm trying to be like Billy Blanks,

282
00:19:01,707 --> 00:19:03,299
but double the money
and half the Blank.

283
00:19:03,408 --> 00:19:05,103
That's a good idea.

284
00:19:05,210 --> 00:19:09,340
Maybe I will, maybe I will.
But, first, I got to get that private lesson.

285
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,541
Okay. Call me, girl.

286
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,619
- I'll call you.
- I'll be your private dancer.

287
00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:20,287
- Must be Saturday.
- Why is that?

288
00:19:20,592 --> 00:19:23,186
Because here come Norbit,
right on schedule.

289
00:19:24,029 --> 00:19:26,190
Almost set your watch to him.

290
00:19:27,533 --> 00:19:30,661
Hey, Pope Sweet Jesus
and Lord Have Mercy.

291
00:19:30,769 --> 00:19:31,963
How you guys doing, fellows?

292
00:19:32,070 --> 00:19:33,094
Business is good.

293
00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,730
Business is good.
It's almost like the good old days.

294
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:36,808
Yes, indeedy.

295
00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:38,171
What do you mean,
"the good old days"?

296
00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:40,837
The good old days, man,
back when we was pimping, Norbit.

297
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:41,935
You know.

298
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:43,342
- You guys used to pimp?
- "Used to"?

299
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,747
That's a violation. Still pimping.
Once a pimp, always a pimp.

300
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,013
- Always. Forever.
- Boss player.

301
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:51,322
Rasputia sent me down here
to get the usual.

302
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:52,447
You guys are open, right?

303
00:19:52,591 --> 00:19:54,582
We always open.
Go on and take yourself in there, Norbit.

304
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,887
We'll stack that up for you.

305
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:00,993
- Moniqua!
- Yes, Daddy.

306
00:20:01,099 --> 00:20:04,557
Can you get King Kong
three large buckets, extra sauce?

307
00:20:04,670 --> 00:20:06,160
- Please don't trim the fat.
- Yes, Daddy.

308
00:20:06,271 --> 00:20:08,466
Please don't trim that fat.
She will kill me.

309
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,098
Norbit, while I got your attention,

310
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:13,440
can I interest you in some new shoes,
maybe a haircut?

311
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:15,513
How about a bath or a sink?

312
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,276
Hey, don't tell me
you guys bought the bath store, too?

313
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:20,715
It's a perfect fit, man.
We used to sell bitches to johns.

314
00:20:20,819 --> 00:20:23,287
Now we selling johns to bitches.

315
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:26,585
- Beds, bitches, and beyond!
- Sound like money to me.

316
00:20:26,692 --> 00:20:27,716
No, thanks, guys.

317
00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:30,021
I got to go do a puppet show
for the kids at the orphanage.

318
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,095
At the orphanage?

319
00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:33,460
That's a nice thing you do
for them little kids over there.

320
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:35,089
Why don't you take
these little tater puffs

321
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,462
over there to them little children?

322
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:39,332
Oh, that's great, guys. That's sweet.

323
00:20:39,438 --> 00:20:42,100
Wait, my puppets! I forgot my puppets!

324
00:20:42,207 --> 00:20:43,674
I got to go. I got to go, guys.

325
00:20:43,775 --> 00:20:45,640
- Where's his puppets?
- He ain't got no puppets.

326
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:54,380
What's Rasputia doing home so early?

327
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:58,553
'Sputia?

328
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,052
Oh, yeah, girl.

329
00:21:04,162 --> 00:21:05,754
Come on, girl, that's sweet chocolate!

330
00:21:05,864 --> 00:21:08,492
Okay, you in trouble, now.
You in trouble. You in trouble, now.

331
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,865
I'm Willy Wonka.
Get up on that Oompa Loompa.

332
00:21:16,375 --> 00:21:19,310
That's sweet. Oh, yeah.
Take all that, girl.

333
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:22,107
Take it with your big old self, girl.
You ain't never had it like this.

334
00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:24,444
You ain't never had it like this!

335
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,278
Hell, yeah.
Come on, we gonna do pig in a blanket.

336
00:21:26,385 --> 00:21:27,750
Come on, pig in a blanket.

337
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,481
- Now squeal. Squeal! Squeal!
- Oink, oink, oink!

338
00:21:30,589 --> 00:21:31,647
Take it from the back.

339
00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:35,488
Damn, I feel like Willy Wonka,
all this sweet chocolate up in this...

340
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:42,056
Hey. How you doing, man?
What's good with you, brother?

341
00:21:42,167 --> 00:21:44,294
How's it going, man? How you doing?

342
00:21:44,403 --> 00:21:46,428
I'm Bust-a-move Perkin.
How you doing?

343
00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,130
Man, your wife was
just talking about you.

344
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:49,935
Man, she love you.

345
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:55,207
- You're Rasputia's tap dance teacher.
- Man, actually, I'm her power-tap guru.

346
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:57,942
I was just here
giving her a little tap lesson.

347
00:21:58,050 --> 00:21:59,745
But you're naked.

348
00:22:00,018 --> 00:22:02,384
That's just so she could see
the various muscle groups

349
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:03,818
as I go through the various routines.

350
00:22:03,922 --> 00:22:07,517
You see that there?
You can't see that with a turtleneck.

351
00:22:09,127 --> 00:22:10,651
And you have an...

352
00:22:10,762 --> 00:22:13,822
Oh, man,
I'm just real passionate about dance.

353
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:16,594
You can say the word "dance"
and he just jump up. Dance!

354
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,431
See that? See that there?

355
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:19,796
'Sputia?

356
00:22:19,905 --> 00:22:21,896
Norbit, Buster's a guest in our home.

357
00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:23,668
How dare you insinuate
something like that?

358
00:22:23,775 --> 00:22:25,333
Yeah, Orbit!

359
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,709
How dare you insinuate
something such like that!

360
00:22:28,814 --> 00:22:33,547
You know, I am actually offended
by your accusization, you understand?

361
00:22:33,652 --> 00:22:37,019
And rather than sit here and have
a belligerent confrontation with you,

362
00:22:37,122 --> 00:22:39,590
'cause I am a God-fearing man,

363
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:44,060
I'm'a do like Jesus H. Christ
would do in a situation such as such

364
00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:46,960
and I'm gonna turn the other cheek.

365
00:22:47,065 --> 00:22:48,362
Amen.

366
00:22:53,004 --> 00:22:54,995
You happy now?

367
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:57,075
Rasputia, you cheated on me!

368
00:22:57,175 --> 00:22:58,802
Look, I told your ass
ain't nothing happened,

369
00:22:58,910 --> 00:22:59,968
and the next time you say
it happened again,

370
00:23:00,078 --> 00:23:02,512
I'm gonna knock your teeth
out your mouth.

371
00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:05,675
Rasputia, we took vows.
I'm your husband.

372
00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:10,182
Rasputia, we took vows,
and you cheated on me!

373
00:23:10,522 --> 00:23:12,387
It never happened!

374
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:15,551
Yes, it did!

375
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:19,721
And that makes you
the queen of whores!

376
00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:26,670
Hey, Norbit!

377
00:23:34,179 --> 00:23:35,737
Run for your lives!

378
00:23:38,850 --> 00:23:40,112
Bastard! Come here!

379
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,019
Oh, sweet Moses! Oh, my God!

380
00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,489
Come here! Come here!
Come here to me!

381
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:48,752
No! Leave me alone!

382
00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:50,487
You ain't nothing
but a goddamn coward!

383
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,960
Saddle tramp!

384
00:23:57,803 --> 00:24:00,067
That's what your stupid black ass get!

385
00:24:00,172 --> 00:24:02,265
I hope you broke your ass!

386
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:05,533
Since you feel like running, Norbit,

387
00:24:05,644 --> 00:24:08,477
why don't you run your ass
down to the Rib Shak

388
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:10,982
and get me a short stack of ribs?

389
00:24:10,982 --> 00:24:11,812
and get me a short stack of ribs?

390
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:14,477
Extra hot sauce.

391
00:24:14,586 --> 00:24:17,987
All this setting you straight
done got me famished.

392
00:24:25,931 --> 00:24:27,990
I'm Little Red Riding Goose,

393
00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:30,727
walking through the forest,
minding my own business,

394
00:24:30,836 --> 00:24:32,701
when all at once...

395
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:33,930
Hello.

396
00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:37,702
- Who are you?
- I'm the big, bad pig of the forest.

397
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,573
My, what big eyes you have, Pig.

398
00:24:40,679 --> 00:24:42,670
The better to see you with, Goose.

399
00:24:42,781 --> 00:24:46,046
And my, what a big nose you have, Pig.

400
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:49,780
The better to smell them scrumptious
goodies you got in your basket.

401
00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,516
Hey, let me take a look in there.

402
00:24:52,624 --> 00:24:56,788
Oh, no, you don't.
You're gonna try to steal my food.

403
00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:58,328
No, I won't steal your food.

404
00:24:58,430 --> 00:25:01,228
Don't let that pig
push you around, Goose.

405
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:04,461
Yeah, I'm tired of
you pushing me around.

406
00:25:04,569 --> 00:25:06,628
Look, I'm tired of
playing with your ass, bitch.

407
00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:08,330
I know you got ribs in that basket.

408
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,805
You better give them up smooth

409
00:25:09,908 --> 00:25:12,342
or I'm gonna break my hoof off
in your goose ass.

410
00:25:12,444 --> 00:25:15,208
Oh, really? Well, why don't you get up
off of your lazy behind

411
00:25:15,313 --> 00:25:17,440
and go down to the Rib Shak
and get your own ribs?

412
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:20,177
Or better still,
why don't you just call Buster

413
00:25:20,285 --> 00:25:22,378
and tell him to come over
and power-tap you,

414
00:25:22,487 --> 00:25:24,614
because in addition to being
the pig of the forest,

415
00:25:24,723 --> 00:25:27,521
you're also a saddle tramp,
whore, bitch pig...

416
00:25:27,626 --> 00:25:31,756
Norbit! What you doing?
This supposed to be a children's show.

417
00:25:31,863 --> 00:25:35,890
This remind me
of Chinese snuff film I once co-star in.

418
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:39,437
I'm sorry. I got a little carried away.

419
00:25:39,638 --> 00:25:42,607
Wow, Norbit,
that was some puppet show.

420
00:25:44,843 --> 00:25:48,176
Oh, come on. You don't remember me?

421
00:25:50,382 --> 00:25:53,408
- Kate. Kate.
- Come here!

422
00:25:53,518 --> 00:25:56,976
Kate! Kate! Oh, God!
I can't believe it! Kate!

423
00:25:57,289 --> 00:25:59,348
Well, can I have a hug?

424
00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:03,717
Norbit.

425
00:26:05,330 --> 00:26:07,491
It just like old times.

426
00:26:07,599 --> 00:26:10,295
Maybe you two go take poop together.

427
00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:19,103
This place has not changed at all.

428
00:26:19,210 --> 00:26:22,976
Oh, yeah. Some of this furniture's
even come back in style.

429
00:26:23,081 --> 00:26:25,345
So, how long are
you gonna be visiting for?

430
00:26:25,450 --> 00:26:27,680
No, I'm not visiting. I'm moving back.

431
00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:30,619
Really? Wow.

432
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:33,418
I sold my clothing business in Atlanta,

433
00:26:33,525 --> 00:26:36,722
and I'm going to use the money
to buy the orphanage.

434
00:26:36,828 --> 00:26:38,261
What?

435
00:26:38,897 --> 00:26:43,334
Mr. Wong's getting older.
He wants to go whaling, so...

436
00:26:43,802 --> 00:26:47,829
You know, it's always been my dream
to come back here and take over.

437
00:26:48,106 --> 00:26:49,937
That's great.

438
00:26:51,643 --> 00:26:53,110
Norbit, look.

439
00:26:54,946 --> 00:26:57,676
That's the tree we got married under.

440
00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:02,443
You know, I've still got my ring.

441
00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:05,218
I ate mine.

442
00:27:06,891 --> 00:27:09,485
I missed you so much when you left.

443
00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:12,592
I missed you, too.

444
00:27:15,066 --> 00:27:16,658
That's my car.

445
00:27:17,736 --> 00:27:20,967
We didn't really get a chance
to catch up much.

446
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:25,508
I'll be back in town on Tuesday.
You wanna have lunch?

447
00:27:26,044 --> 00:27:28,638
Yeah, I would love to
have lunch on Tuesday.

448
00:27:28,747 --> 00:27:29,975
- I love lunch.
- Okay.

449
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:33,812
Lunch, yes. For sure.
I love lunch. Tuesday.

450
00:27:34,285 --> 00:27:35,343
I'll see you Tuesday.

451
00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:39,048
I'll see you on Tuesday.
We'll have lunch on Tuesday.

452
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,549
Tuesday.

453
00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,689
Tuesday. Tuesday.

454
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:48,459
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday.

455
00:27:48,733 --> 00:27:52,499
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...

456
00:27:52,604 --> 00:27:56,404
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday,
Tuesday, Tuesday...

457
00:28:01,713 --> 00:28:04,238
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.

458
00:28:04,349 --> 00:28:07,512
Tuesday, Tuesday...

459
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:11,555
Say "Tuesday" again
and you ain't gonna see Wednesday!

460
00:28:11,656 --> 00:28:13,783
I got it. I'll get it. Tuesday.

461
00:28:14,459 --> 00:28:17,223
Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday.

462
00:28:18,163 --> 00:28:19,960
- Buster. How you doing? You look great.
- Hey.

463
00:28:20,065 --> 00:28:22,226
- Oh, thank you, man.
- Good to see you. Good to see you.

464
00:28:22,333 --> 00:28:24,324
Thank you.
I thought you were gonna be at work.

465
00:28:24,436 --> 00:28:25,698
Yeah, I'm on my way out now.

466
00:28:25,804 --> 00:28:27,965
But hey, look,
there's cold beer in the refrigerator

467
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,200
and there's fresh sheets on the bed.
Go have a great dance lesson.

468
00:28:30,308 --> 00:28:31,468
- All right.
- All right.

469
00:28:31,576 --> 00:28:32,804
Power-tap.

470
00:28:32,911 --> 00:28:35,709
Very good, very good.

471
00:28:37,716 --> 00:28:39,183
Tuesday.

472
00:28:42,353 --> 00:28:44,878
What's wrong with your boy?
He real cool all of a sudden.

473
00:28:44,989 --> 00:28:48,823
Yeah, I don't know what the hell got
into him, but I know I got dance fever.

474
00:28:48,927 --> 00:28:51,395
Ready for a little power-tap, huh?

475
00:28:52,831 --> 00:28:54,628
Lord, give me strength.

476
00:28:55,366 --> 00:28:56,958
Hey, Sam, happy Tuesday.

477
00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,228
Norbit.

478
00:28:58,336 --> 00:28:59,462
Norbit.

479
00:28:59,571 --> 00:29:02,438
- Hey, Kate. Hi.
- Come on, I got us a table.

480
00:29:02,540 --> 00:29:04,235
Great. I've been looking forward to this
all week.

481
00:29:04,342 --> 00:29:05,809
Good.

482
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:07,537
Hey.

483
00:29:08,179 --> 00:29:09,237
Hey. Who's he?

484
00:29:09,347 --> 00:29:11,406
Norbit, this is my fiancé, Deion Hughes.

485
00:29:11,516 --> 00:29:14,508
How you doing, my man?
Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit.

486
00:29:14,619 --> 00:29:16,746
- This is your fiancé?
- Yes, sir.

487
00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:19,688
I was just telling Deion that you and I
were buddy partners at the orphanage.

488
00:29:19,791 --> 00:29:21,725
Now she and I are buddy partners.

489
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:25,762
Shame on you, man,
letting a girl go like this. I feel for you.

490
00:29:25,864 --> 00:29:28,332
And so Deion's got all this experience
in real estate,

491
00:29:28,433 --> 00:29:31,368
so he's going to help me buy
the orphanage, Norbit. It's so exciting!

492
00:29:31,469 --> 00:29:33,198
No, wait, wait. No, no.
Slow down, slow down.

493
00:29:33,304 --> 00:29:35,966
I mean, you know,
we're just out here just scouting it out.

494
00:29:36,074 --> 00:29:38,133
All right? This is her nest egg,
you know.

495
00:29:38,243 --> 00:29:39,904
I don't want her
making any hasty decisions

496
00:29:40,011 --> 00:29:41,808
that she might regret later, you know?

497
00:29:41,913 --> 00:29:44,438
She worked too hard for this money,
man, you know what I mean?

498
00:29:44,549 --> 00:29:47,074
Deion, you take
such good care of me, baby.

499
00:29:47,185 --> 00:29:49,847
It's my job. Stop it.

500
00:29:50,588 --> 00:29:51,987
Okay?

501
00:29:56,761 --> 00:29:59,286
Don't you just love Tuesdays?

502
00:30:04,335 --> 00:30:08,362
Lloyd, just tell me why it has to hurt
so GD much.

503
00:30:12,911 --> 00:30:14,401
What's the matter, boy?

504
00:30:14,512 --> 00:30:18,573
You sensing an earthquake
or some other sort of natural disaster?

505
00:30:24,055 --> 00:30:25,886
That's just my...

506
00:30:26,524 --> 00:30:27,821
My wife.

507
00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:40,230
A man needs his own space.

508
00:30:49,948 --> 00:30:53,611
Finally! For the love of Cain.

509
00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:01,058
Moses!

510
00:31:02,427 --> 00:31:05,328
I'll see you suckers
tomorrow at the picnic!

511
00:31:20,511 --> 00:31:22,479
Damn it, Norbit!
How many times I got to tell you,

512
00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:23,911
don't be messing with my car seat!

513
00:31:24,015 --> 00:31:25,880
Nobody touched your old, stupid seat.

514
00:31:25,984 --> 00:31:29,351
Then how come
it's all mushed up like this, then?

515
00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:31,422
Well, you know, Rasputia,
you've been eating so much lately

516
00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:36,118
there's a very strong possibility that...
The car is shrinking.

517
00:31:36,227 --> 00:31:39,219
Might be shrinking.
The car is being smaller.

518
00:31:39,330 --> 00:31:44,029
Yeah, you might be right. Been raining
a lot lately. All this moist weather.

519
00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:47,662
- Oh, yeah? That'll make it shrink.
- This weather's so moist.

520
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,706
How you doing?

521
00:32:00,118 --> 00:32:03,485
Don't cha wish your girlfriend
was hot like me

522
00:32:03,588 --> 00:32:06,386
Don't cha wish your girlfriend
was a freak like me

523
00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:08,188
Don't cha

524
00:32:09,394 --> 00:32:12,329
Look at that dog over there,
eyeballing me.

525
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,126
Rasputia, what are you doing?

526
00:32:15,233 --> 00:32:16,495
Shut up!

527
00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:20,799
- Hey, slow down! You're gonna hit him!
- I got you now. I got you now!

528
00:32:23,741 --> 00:32:25,800
- Stop it! No!
- I'm gonna get you. I'm gonna get you.

529
00:32:25,910 --> 00:32:29,073
Rasputia, don't! No! No! No!

530
00:32:35,620 --> 00:32:36,955
I know what that sound means!

531
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:37,387
I know what that sound means!

532
00:32:37,488 --> 00:32:39,718
Bark! How you doing!

533
00:32:39,824 --> 00:32:41,018
Lloyd!

534
00:32:42,093 --> 00:32:44,220
Enough is enough.

535
00:32:44,329 --> 00:32:47,355
Now, where in the hell
do you think you're going?

536
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,326
Lloyd's in the hospital because of you!

537
00:32:49,434 --> 00:32:51,459
Yeah, that's right.
I put his little dog ass in the hospital.

538
00:32:51,569 --> 00:32:54,163
And I'd have put it in the morgue, too,
if you didn't mess with my car seat.

539
00:32:54,272 --> 00:32:55,671
It threw off my driving skills.

540
00:32:55,773 --> 00:33:02,303
Rasputia, you are a mean, selfish, cold,
heartless woman, and I am leaving you!

541
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:04,505
- You leaving me?
- Yes!

542
00:33:05,283 --> 00:33:07,012
Well, where the hell
you think you're going, big shot?

543
00:33:07,118 --> 00:33:08,847
You ain't got no money.
You ain't got no family.

544
00:33:08,953 --> 00:33:10,545
Everything is in my name, the car,
the house...

545
00:33:10,655 --> 00:33:13,146
You ain't nothing and you ain't gonna
never be nothing without me, Norbit!

546
00:33:13,257 --> 00:33:17,193
Norbit, you just can't leave!
Norbit, please, I'm with child!

547
00:33:19,630 --> 00:33:21,257
With child?

548
00:33:21,366 --> 00:33:25,803
Oh, yes, Norbit, can't you tell?
I'm getting a little belly.

549
00:33:26,871 --> 00:33:29,897
And my titties is all achy and itchy-like.

550
00:33:30,041 --> 00:33:33,340
Oh, Norbit, we gonna be a family.

551
00:33:34,512 --> 00:33:40,178
Oh, Norbit, come hug me,
Daddy, please.

552
00:33:42,086 --> 00:33:44,919
Please, Norbit.

553
00:34:03,808 --> 00:34:05,867
I understand, little pony.

554
00:34:07,145 --> 00:34:08,669
I know your pain.

555
00:34:10,014 --> 00:34:11,914
Oh, yes, I know.

556
00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:16,076
Excuse me, snow bunny.

557
00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:19,588
I don't come in your jurisdiction,
throwing town picnics.

558
00:34:19,690 --> 00:34:23,626
Yet here you is all up in mines,
pimping hos.

559
00:34:23,995 --> 00:34:25,360
It's just a kissing booth.

560
00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:29,194
Call it what you will,
but Pope Sweet Jesus

561
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:30,961
is taking half.

562
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:34,564
You work for me now, ho.

563
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:36,929
Sure.

564
00:34:37,041 --> 00:34:38,440
Let me taste the goods.

565
00:34:38,543 --> 00:34:39,976
Put it on me.

566
00:34:41,245 --> 00:34:42,974
- Greasy.
- Greasy.

567
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,912
We back in business.

568
00:34:47,285 --> 00:34:50,345
I wanna be a ho. How do I apply?

569
00:34:50,588 --> 00:34:54,684
Please, Lord Jesus, help me!
Look, look, tickets! Hey, tickets, tickets.

570
00:34:54,792 --> 00:34:56,384
- Let me go! Let me go!
- Line up with your buddy.

571
00:34:56,494 --> 00:34:57,654
Line up with your buddy.

572
00:34:57,762 --> 00:34:59,195
- You got one, sweetie.
- Can we go on the jumper?

573
00:34:59,297 --> 00:35:00,286
Yeah, yeah, you go.

574
00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:03,367
Baby, you know I love you.
I love these kids.

575
00:35:03,468 --> 00:35:05,493
It's just that
I don't think buying an orphanage

576
00:35:05,603 --> 00:35:08,697
is the right move financially right now.
That's all.

577
00:35:08,806 --> 00:35:10,865
Hey, this is not
a financial decision, Deion.

578
00:35:10,975 --> 00:35:13,341
- I thought you understood that, baby.
- No. No, I do. I do, baby.

579
00:35:13,444 --> 00:35:16,174
But this the call I was telling you...
The business call, it's very important.

580
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,145
Let's talk about it
when I get back to the house, okay?

581
00:35:18,249 --> 00:35:19,477
You're not going to stay?

582
00:35:19,584 --> 00:35:21,916
No, very important. Here.

583
00:35:23,321 --> 00:35:27,052
Hello? It's never a bad time for you.

584
00:35:29,694 --> 00:35:30,683
Stop it! Stop!

585
00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:32,092
Norbit!

586
00:35:32,530 --> 00:35:34,293
- Hey.
- Hi.

587
00:35:36,033 --> 00:35:37,000
Hey.

588
00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,797
- I didn't know you were gonna be here.
- Oh, yeah.

589
00:35:39,904 --> 00:35:42,236
Hey, you know, I just saw Deion leaving.

590
00:35:42,740 --> 00:35:45,641
He had some business to take care of.

591
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:48,771
So, who are you here with?

592
00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,038
My wife.

593
00:35:54,385 --> 00:35:58,082
- Norbit, I didn't know you were married.
- Yeah.

594
00:35:58,189 --> 00:36:02,216
- Well, that's wonderful. Really.
- Thank you so much.

595
00:36:02,326 --> 00:36:03,987
So, where is she?

596
00:36:05,763 --> 00:36:08,163
Right over there in the print outfit.

597
00:36:08,266 --> 00:36:11,201
The one talking to the girl by the bench?

598
00:36:11,802 --> 00:36:15,033
No, the one sucking the jelly
out of them donuts.

599
00:36:18,876 --> 00:36:21,811
Oh, yeah. She's pretty.

600
00:36:22,180 --> 00:36:24,944
That's cherry.
Is that cherry or strawberry?

601
00:36:25,049 --> 00:36:27,574
What are my kids doing? Peter! Theo!

602
00:36:27,685 --> 00:36:30,051
I don't want you bothering anyone.

603
00:36:30,922 --> 00:36:32,890
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Rice.

604
00:36:32,990 --> 00:36:35,185
Mrs. Rice?
My name ain't no damn Mrs. Rice.

605
00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:37,693
Oh, I just thought
'cause you're married to Norbit...

606
00:36:37,795 --> 00:36:38,921
Who the hell are you?

607
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:42,090
Kate, this is my wife,
Rasputia Latimore,

608
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:43,599
and, Rasputia, this is Kate.

609
00:36:44,168 --> 00:36:46,398
- Nice to meet you.
- Hello.

610
00:36:46,504 --> 00:36:48,734
Kate's an old friend of mine
from the orphanage.

611
00:36:48,839 --> 00:36:51,569
Latimore, as in Latimore Construction?

612
00:36:51,676 --> 00:36:53,507
Yes, that's right,
as in Latimore Construction.

613
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:54,873
That's right. Why?

614
00:36:54,979 --> 00:36:56,344
Well, just that this is perfect,

615
00:36:56,447 --> 00:36:59,939
'cause I was going to come see
you guys about a renovation of...

616
00:37:00,218 --> 00:37:01,651
I ain't come out here for that.

617
00:37:01,752 --> 00:37:04,084
I'm out here to enjoy these festivities,
not to be talking no business.

618
00:37:04,188 --> 00:37:05,678
You wanna talk business,
my brother is Big Black Jack

619
00:37:05,790 --> 00:37:06,757
over there by the BB guns.

620
00:37:06,857 --> 00:37:08,586
Go over there and talk to him.
I ain't got no time for this.

621
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:10,456
Oh, sure, okay.

622
00:37:10,561 --> 00:37:12,290
Well, go on, get.

623
00:37:13,431 --> 00:37:15,126
- Okay.
- Okay.

624
00:37:19,470 --> 00:37:22,166
- Come here.
- What, Rasputia?

625
00:37:22,273 --> 00:37:24,741
You thinking about creeping, ain't you?

626
00:37:24,842 --> 00:37:25,934
We're just friends.

627
00:37:26,043 --> 00:37:28,739
What'd I tell you about having friends?

628
00:37:28,846 --> 00:37:30,370
Go over there
and get me another wine cooler.

629
00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,745
It's hot as hell out here.
Don't you see I'm sweltering?

630
00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:36,445
- Rasputia, you can't drink wine.
- Why the hell not?

631
00:37:37,788 --> 00:37:41,224
- You're with child.
- With child? I ain't with no...

632
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:46,328
Oh, that was... I had gas. I still got it.

633
00:37:48,065 --> 00:37:51,557
There's your child.
Now, go get me something to drink.

634
00:37:59,977 --> 00:38:01,308
Twins!

635
00:38:02,513 --> 00:38:03,673
Hey! You come back here!

636
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,811
- Oh, my God!
- Move your fat ass, boy.

637
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:12,150
Look, you got one!

638
00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:15,692
Get him. Get him, Big Black.

639
00:38:17,895 --> 00:38:19,829
Are you Big Black Jack?

640
00:38:20,197 --> 00:38:21,824
What it look like?

641
00:38:21,932 --> 00:38:24,298
Oh, well.

642
00:38:24,402 --> 00:38:27,530
Me and my fiancé
are buying the Golden Wonton...

643
00:38:27,638 --> 00:38:30,971
Wong's place? He's selling it to you?

644
00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,600
Yeah. Why is that surprising?

645
00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:35,872
Miss Thomas, Miss Thomas, let's go.
They're starting the music.

646
00:38:35,980 --> 00:38:37,447
- Oh, great!
- Come on. Let's go.

647
00:38:37,548 --> 00:38:40,039
Can we finish this up later?
Apparently I have to go dance now.

648
00:38:40,151 --> 00:38:42,642
All right, baby. You go dance now.

649
00:38:43,921 --> 00:38:46,287
The orphanage is in play.

650
00:38:50,494 --> 00:38:52,121
Y'all better give me my hat.
Give me the hat!

651
00:38:52,229 --> 00:38:53,662
Here, take her hat.

652
00:38:53,864 --> 00:38:57,493
You think I won't come up in here?
I'm gonna come up in here.

653
00:39:06,744 --> 00:39:07,733
You think I'm playing?

654
00:39:07,845 --> 00:39:09,574
Give me the hat right now,
or I'm gonna tear your leg off.

655
00:39:10,748 --> 00:39:12,409
Hey, Norbit, come on!

656
00:39:12,550 --> 00:39:15,485
Oh, no. No, I can't.
Rasputia's waiting for me.

657
00:39:15,586 --> 00:39:17,918
- Come on, dance with us.
- No, really, I shouldn't...

658
00:39:18,022 --> 00:39:21,617
Don't think I won't kill a child.
I'll kill a child in front of everybody.

659
00:39:21,726 --> 00:39:23,626
Little street urchins.

660
00:39:25,629 --> 00:39:29,087
Okay. That's it.
Now it's time to bring the pain.

661
00:39:36,173 --> 00:39:38,664
Dance, Norbit, dance! Come on!

662
00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:44,573
My hat!

663
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:50,878
It's raining little white women.

664
00:39:50,988 --> 00:39:52,888
My prayers have been answered!

665
00:39:52,990 --> 00:39:56,050
She'd better move,
'cause my prayer is for a Cadillac.

666
00:40:06,737 --> 00:40:08,534
You little bastards.

667
00:40:11,742 --> 00:40:14,540
Where the hell is Norbit
with that wine cooler?

668
00:40:14,645 --> 00:40:16,442
I'm thirsty as hell.

669
00:40:25,956 --> 00:40:27,446
Oh, hell, no.

670
00:40:29,527 --> 00:40:31,119
Oh, he's lost his mind.

671
00:40:33,731 --> 00:40:35,221
Bitch, that's my wine cooler!

672
00:40:35,332 --> 00:40:38,529
It's my birthday! It's my birthday!

673
00:40:38,636 --> 00:40:40,831
It's your birthday?
You think it's your birthday, huh?

674
00:40:40,938 --> 00:40:43,372
Norbit's got moves, everybody! Yeah!

675
00:40:43,507 --> 00:40:45,873
You got him loose, don't you,
you little skinny bitch?

676
00:40:45,976 --> 00:40:49,139
I see what you trying to do.
I see just what you trying to do.

677
00:40:49,246 --> 00:40:53,012
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!
Come on, everybody!

678
00:40:53,117 --> 00:40:54,106
Go, Norbit!

679
00:40:54,218 --> 00:40:57,085
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!

680
00:40:57,188 --> 00:40:59,122
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit!

681
00:40:59,223 --> 00:41:01,987
Go, Norbit! Go, Norbit! Go...

682
00:41:02,092 --> 00:41:03,150
Norbit!

683
00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:13,535
Crooked employees?
Unlicensed doctors?

684
00:41:13,637 --> 00:41:15,229
Lipstick on your husband's collar?

685
00:41:15,339 --> 00:41:17,000
Find out who you're really dealing with.

686
00:41:17,107 --> 00:41:19,632
Send $29.95
to Background Checks by Mail,

687
00:41:19,743 --> 00:41:22,075
P.O. Box 119, Locust Falls.

688
00:41:22,179 --> 00:41:23,441
Hey, buddy partner.

689
00:41:23,547 --> 00:41:27,449
Hi, Kate. Hi, nice to see you.
How you doing?

690
00:41:27,952 --> 00:41:30,614
I'm good, but how about you
and your head?

691
00:41:30,721 --> 00:41:32,484
Oh, I'm doing better.

692
00:41:32,590 --> 00:41:37,084
The doctor said if it weren't for
my hard Afro, it could have killed me.

693
00:41:41,665 --> 00:41:45,226
Are you sure you're okay, Norbit?
That sounds kind of fast.

694
00:41:45,336 --> 00:41:49,602
Oh, well, they're doing some tests.
They're kind of monitoring me.

695
00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:54,203
Well, I don't know about this stuff,
but 110 beats per minute,

696
00:41:54,311 --> 00:41:57,280
that's kind of high. 120...

697
00:41:57,681 --> 00:41:59,808
Oh, my goodness, 130!

698
00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:03,353
Yeah, maybe the machine's broke.
I'm just gonna take these off.

699
00:42:15,733 --> 00:42:16,791
You Deion Hughes?

700
00:42:16,901 --> 00:42:18,266
Who's asking?

701
00:42:18,869 --> 00:42:20,359
We the Latimores.

702
00:42:20,471 --> 00:42:22,632
Yeah. Latimore Construction.

703
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,401
And we run this town.

704
00:42:24,508 --> 00:42:27,807
Your woman was telling us how y'all
was planning on buying the orphanage.

705
00:42:27,912 --> 00:42:29,709
Kate has her plans and I have mine.

706
00:42:29,813 --> 00:42:32,247
Well, it looks like the only plans you got,
my man, is leaving.

707
00:42:32,349 --> 00:42:34,180
I ain't sticking around
raising no damn orphans.

708
00:42:34,285 --> 00:42:36,617
I got kids of my own
I ain't even bringing up.

709
00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:38,415
So, you was just hustling her?

710
00:42:38,522 --> 00:42:41,753
Break it to her gentle for me,
would you? I'm out!

711
00:42:42,526 --> 00:42:45,893
Hold up, player.
I think you missing the flow here.

712
00:42:46,397 --> 00:42:48,865
That orphanage she buying,
that's a huge property,

713
00:42:48,966 --> 00:42:51,025
outside of town, zoned commercial.

714
00:42:51,135 --> 00:42:52,602
Even got a liquor license.

715
00:42:52,703 --> 00:42:54,136
Interesting.

716
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:56,433
It's a perfect place for a titty bar.

717
00:42:57,241 --> 00:42:59,106
- Did you say "titty bar"?
- Titties.

718
00:42:59,209 --> 00:43:00,642
We got it all worked out.

719
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:03,304
We gonna call it Nipplopolis.

720
00:43:03,614 --> 00:43:04,979
Nipplopolis.

721
00:43:05,516 --> 00:43:07,575
Shit got a ring to it, don't it?

722
00:43:07,785 --> 00:43:10,515
We talking about overpriced,
watered-down alcohol

723
00:43:10,621 --> 00:43:13,522
and fake tig old bitties in abundance.

724
00:43:13,724 --> 00:43:15,316
Ain't gonna be nothing but tax-free,

725
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,417
under-the-table, pure cash money.
Big time!

726
00:43:17,528 --> 00:43:18,495
That's right.

727
00:43:18,596 --> 00:43:22,896
All you got to do is swing us the deal
and we make you partner.

728
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:24,262
And what about Kate?

729
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:27,895
If you marry her,
it's as much yours as hers.

730
00:43:28,806 --> 00:43:33,436
Norbit, I really want you
to be a part of the orphanage.

731
00:43:33,544 --> 00:43:35,808
The kids are crazy about you.

732
00:43:35,913 --> 00:43:37,938
- They're good kids.
- Yeah.

733
00:43:38,048 --> 00:43:41,609
You know, I'm gonna take them
bike riding tomorrow, down by the lake.

734
00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:43,653
Why don't you come?

735
00:43:43,854 --> 00:43:46,846
I don't know if I could go for a bike ride.

736
00:43:47,057 --> 00:43:50,083
I never... I didn't really know how, the...

737
00:43:50,194 --> 00:43:53,459
I can't ride a bike still.

738
00:43:54,164 --> 00:43:56,394
You never learned? What?

739
00:43:56,500 --> 00:43:58,525
Well, you left, you know,

740
00:43:58,636 --> 00:44:00,160
and there was nobody
there to teach me.

741
00:44:00,270 --> 00:44:02,204
And Wong don't ride.

742
00:44:02,740 --> 00:44:05,766
Okay, we'll do something else.
The water park.

743
00:44:05,876 --> 00:44:07,639
The kids have been begging me
to take them there.

744
00:44:07,745 --> 00:44:09,440
Oh, I don't know about the water park.

745
00:44:09,546 --> 00:44:11,776
Come on, it's a Saturday.
You don't have to work.

746
00:44:11,882 --> 00:44:15,283
Yeah, I know, but it's the park
and it's watery,

747
00:44:15,386 --> 00:44:21,018
and there's a potential hell to pay
if I were to be there maybe...

748
00:44:21,892 --> 00:44:24,520
Hey, what are you doing
with those things, Kate?

749
00:44:24,628 --> 00:44:27,722
Well, I'm just going to have to shock you
till you say yes.

750
00:44:27,831 --> 00:44:29,696
Hey, come on, Kate.
Don't play with those.

751
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:32,462
- Those things are plugged in. It's hot.
- Clear.

752
00:44:32,569 --> 00:44:34,935
No, no clear. No clear. Stop, Kate.
Stop, Kate.

753
00:44:35,039 --> 00:44:36,734
Come on. Yes.

754
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,105
- Yes, yes, yes.
- Yes, yes, yes, yes! Okay, stop. Nurse!

755
00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:57,524
Oh, my God, Deion. This is beautiful.
I didn't even know you could cook.

756
00:44:57,728 --> 00:45:00,856
I just wanted to do something special
for you, you know, from the heart.

757
00:45:00,964 --> 00:45:02,898
Well, I am feeling it.

758
00:45:04,902 --> 00:45:08,895
Let's do it. Let's get married, right away.
I don't wanna wait.

759
00:45:10,474 --> 00:45:13,068
- Deion.
- Church is free on Saturday.

760
00:45:15,212 --> 00:45:16,804
You're serious?

761
00:45:16,914 --> 00:45:20,042
- Baby, we belong together.
- Yeah.

762
00:45:20,517 --> 00:45:23,384
- I want to. Saturday.
- Yeah. Yes!

763
00:45:24,988 --> 00:45:28,219
- Thank you.
- Oh, no, thank you.

764
00:45:47,778 --> 00:45:48,802
Norbit!

765
00:45:48,912 --> 00:45:51,813
Hi. Hey. Good morning, Rasputia.

766
00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:54,611
Good morning.
How are you this morning?

767
00:45:54,718 --> 00:45:56,413
Where the hell you going?

768
00:45:58,422 --> 00:46:01,653
Nowhere special.
I was just gonna go out to...

769
00:46:01,759 --> 00:46:05,195
- I was just going over to Raging Waters.
- Raging Waters?

770
00:46:05,295 --> 00:46:09,322
Yes. It's this thing
I got roped into, darling.

771
00:46:09,433 --> 00:46:12,925
You know, I was at this orphanage
when I was raised, and...

772
00:46:13,036 --> 00:46:14,162
And the people from the orphanage

773
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:16,296
and now they're taking other orphans
to Raging Waters

774
00:46:16,406 --> 00:46:18,499
so they asked me to come
and give back to the community,

775
00:46:18,609 --> 00:46:21,134
so I'm trying to, you know, do my part.

776
00:46:21,245 --> 00:46:24,009
Little Miss Skinny Bitch gonna be there?

777
00:46:24,515 --> 00:46:26,278
You mean Miss Ling Ling?

778
00:46:26,383 --> 00:46:28,476
You know damn well
I ain't talking about no Miss Ling Ling.

779
00:46:28,585 --> 00:46:30,883
I'm talking about Miss Thing Thing
from that picnic.

780
00:46:30,988 --> 00:46:32,478
Miss Thing Thing from the picnic?

781
00:46:32,589 --> 00:46:34,682
Who are you talking about, sweetheart?
I don't even...

782
00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:39,024
Wait, I think I remember now.
A girl, she had the foreign name.

783
00:46:44,001 --> 00:46:46,697
- Something Russian.
- Kate, bitch!

784
00:46:46,804 --> 00:46:49,932
Kate! Of course it's Kate. Yes,
I don't know if Kate's gonna be there.

785
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,804
I hadn't even thought about it.
It didn't even cross my mind.

786
00:46:52,910 --> 00:46:56,175
I wonder, will Kate be there?
Damn good question.

787
00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,180
Well, I'm going.

788
00:46:58,282 --> 00:46:59,442
No!

789
00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:00,984
You don't like water parks,
Rasputia. No.

790
00:47:00,984 --> 00:47:02,781
You don't like water parks,
Rasputia. No.

791
00:47:02,886 --> 00:47:05,878
Who don't like water parks? I love them.
They're just like amusement parks,

792
00:47:05,989 --> 00:47:08,116
except you ain't got to get off the ride
to go to the bathroom.

793
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:09,522
How you doing?

794
00:47:12,429 --> 00:47:13,453
Great.

795
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,895
There you go. Have fun.

796
00:47:18,001 --> 00:47:20,936
There you go, Brian.
Nick, there's one for you.

797
00:47:22,673 --> 00:47:26,165
All right, kids, everybody please be nice
to Mrs. Latimore, okay?

798
00:47:26,276 --> 00:47:28,676
- Okay.
- Okay.

799
00:47:29,046 --> 00:47:32,880
Kate, I hope you don't mind.
I asked Rasputia to join us.

800
00:47:32,983 --> 00:47:36,146
Of course not.
I'm really glad you could come.

801
00:47:36,787 --> 00:47:40,052
Well, are we gonna stand around here
all day or we gonna go inside?

802
00:47:40,157 --> 00:47:41,317
Excuse me.

803
00:47:43,227 --> 00:47:45,024
Excuse me, ma'am.

804
00:47:45,662 --> 00:47:46,993
What?

805
00:47:48,565 --> 00:47:50,624
Are you wearing bottoms?

806
00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:53,134
Of course I'm wearing bottoms!

807
00:47:54,404 --> 00:47:56,429
Okay. Come on in.

808
00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:58,599
How dare you?

809
00:48:04,214 --> 00:48:06,182
Oh, hell, no.

810
00:48:14,358 --> 00:48:16,952
How you doing!

811
00:48:22,366 --> 00:48:23,492
This ain't like no real beach,

812
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,569
'cause on a real beach you got people
walking around with ice chests

813
00:48:26,670 --> 00:48:30,071
and you can get all kinds of treats
like sandwiches and potato chips

814
00:48:30,173 --> 00:48:33,836
and Mentos and Skittles
and all sorts of delectables.

815
00:48:33,944 --> 00:48:35,673
You can't get shit here!

816
00:48:35,779 --> 00:48:38,805
Well, you know,
there's a concession stand.

817
00:48:38,916 --> 00:48:40,213
You going?

818
00:48:40,918 --> 00:48:42,408
No, I already ate.

819
00:48:42,519 --> 00:48:44,714
Well, you could have fooled me.

820
00:48:44,821 --> 00:48:45,879
I'm sorry?

821
00:48:45,989 --> 00:48:49,015
I'm just trying to say
you too damn skinny. Look at you.

822
00:48:49,126 --> 00:48:52,118
See, most men like a woman
that got a little... Or a little...

823
00:48:52,229 --> 00:48:53,992
You ain't got nothing.
You just skin and bones,

824
00:48:54,097 --> 00:48:56,463
just sitting in that chair
all bones and skin.

825
00:48:56,566 --> 00:48:58,124
I feel sorry for you.

826
00:48:58,235 --> 00:49:01,671
Well, I just feel that we're all made
exactly the way we're supposed to be.

827
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:03,137
Oh, no. Hell, no. I'm a Christian,

828
00:49:03,240 --> 00:49:06,698
and you ain't gonna sit there
and blame God for how you look, okay?

829
00:49:06,810 --> 00:49:08,641
You the one that
pushed that plate away.

830
00:49:08,745 --> 00:49:10,940
My Norbit is always telling me
there's two kinds of women,

831
00:49:11,048 --> 00:49:13,676
big old good ones
and good old big ones.

832
00:49:14,284 --> 00:49:15,273
Really?

833
00:49:15,385 --> 00:49:17,683
That's right. And, sister, let me tell you,
just between the two of us,

834
00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,880
I can't keep Norbit off me.

835
00:49:18,989 --> 00:49:20,752
He is the biggest freak
you ever wanna meet

836
00:49:20,857 --> 00:49:22,381
and he be blowing my back out,

837
00:49:22,492 --> 00:49:24,756
trying to put me
through the headboard every night.

838
00:49:24,861 --> 00:49:26,453
I'm thinking about
going on a little diet or something

839
00:49:26,563 --> 00:49:28,258
so I can get
all emaciated-looking like you,

840
00:49:28,365 --> 00:49:29,696
then he'll think I look disgusting

841
00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,768
and I can get a rest
or some sleep for a little while,

842
00:49:31,868 --> 00:49:35,326
because he want it all the time.
Just boom, bam, boom, boom, boom.

843
00:49:35,439 --> 00:49:37,873
But I ain't mad at him, hey.

844
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,840
I'm gonna go on a diet for sure,
next week.

845
00:49:39,943 --> 00:49:42,605
Right now I'm gonna get me
a lamb kabob and a wine cooler.

846
00:49:42,713 --> 00:49:45,978
How you doing?
Where is that wine cooler section?

847
00:49:46,917 --> 00:49:50,409
Miss Thomas, we're all going off
the Leap of Doom. Come on.

848
00:49:50,587 --> 00:49:52,953
Slowly. Slowly.
Someone's gonna fall down.

849
00:49:53,056 --> 00:49:55,684
You're gonna break your head in half
in a second. Slow down!

850
00:49:55,792 --> 00:49:57,020
Wait for me!

851
00:49:57,127 --> 00:50:01,757
I tell you, it sure is tiring chasing these
kids all around the water park, isn't it?

852
00:50:01,865 --> 00:50:04,163
Especially for us skinny folk.

853
00:50:04,267 --> 00:50:05,757
What?

854
00:50:05,869 --> 00:50:07,632
Never mind.

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