1
00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:56,205
Holy shit!

2
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,648
Oh, fuck!

3
00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,755
No, no, no!

4
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,563
Oh, shit!

5
00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:46,191
Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville.
Welcome to Jackass!

6
00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:02,569
All right, boys and girls.
It's time for a puppet show.

7
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:07,268
Once upon a time,
there was a hungry serpent

8
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:10,838
and a lonely field mouse
who needed a friend.

9
00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,678
Hello, Mr. Serpent.

10
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:18,623
My name is Mr. Mousey.
I wanna be your friend.

11
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:21,486
Yeah, just make sure my
whole weiner's out. I wanna look good.

12
00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:25,257
How about if I tickle him on the tail?
Hey, over here.

13
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,870
That's not nice.

14
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:34,498
That's not the way we play back home.

15
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:37,167
That was not nice.

16
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,768
Dude.

17
00:04:39,712 --> 00:04:41,543
He's like an inch away.

18
00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:46,584
Here we go. Give me a little kissy.

19
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:49,878
A little kiss.

20
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,926
Oh, God!

21
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,898
Oh, God, that hurts!

22
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,811
It's got its tooth stuck in his dick!

23
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:24,212
I guess the puppet show's over then.

24
00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:26,722
Oh, my God.

25
00:05:30,697 --> 00:05:32,426
"Hi, Jackass guys.

26
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:36,165
"I heard you were staying at this hotel."

27
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,066
- What the fuck is that?
- Dude, look at that.

28
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,230
It's like... Someone like...

29
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:43,840
Look at it. What is this?
I can't even read it, dude.

30
00:05:45,3 ...

1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,800
Oh, my God, you got nailed.

2
00:00:01,922 --> 00:00:03,890
I didn't do anything. He did all the work.

3
00:00:03,991 --> 00:00:06,255
All right. We seized the snake.

4
00:00:07,895 --> 00:00:09,419
Run, Ryan, run.

5
00:00:11,632 --> 00:00:14,396
Oh, shit.
We forgot about the other snake.

6
00:00:31,151 --> 00:00:32,846
This is the Ice Horse.

7
00:00:32,986 --> 00:00:36,046
See if your balls will stick to the horse.

8
00:00:36,156 --> 00:00:37,953
- Come on!
- You want me to do it?

9
00:00:38,058 --> 00:00:39,116
For the bros.

10
00:00:39,526 --> 00:00:41,221
It's for the bros. Come on.

11
00:00:41,328 --> 00:00:43,626
- It's not gonna stick.
- Yeah, it can stick.

12
00:00:43,731 --> 00:00:45,858
You just need a little water.

13
00:00:46,300 --> 00:00:48,200
Anybody got some water?

14
00:00:49,803 --> 00:00:51,794
- Great.
- Thanks!

15
00:00:51,905 --> 00:00:53,964
Don't think about it. Just do it.

16
00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:55,700
You are assholes.

17
00:00:58,312 --> 00:01:00,177
God, your legs are white.

18
00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,682
Here. You've got to really
get the water on the balls.

19
00:01:05,487 --> 00:01:08,456
Oh, that's horrible-looking!

20
00:01:20,201 --> 00:01:21,930
It's yanking my hair!

21
00:01:23,705 --> 00:01:25,138
Are you done?

22
00:01:27,375 --> 00:01:28,933
- What an ass!
- Oh, my God!

23
00:01:29,711 --> 00:01:31,542
It ripped my skin off.

24
00:01:32,847 --> 00:01:34,610
Look at the blister.

25
00:01:34,983 --> 00:01:36,280
Look at him gallop.

26
00:01:36,985 --> 00:01:40,477
Hey! There's poop, hair and more poop!

27
00:01:44,192 --> 00:01:46,752
I'm Wee Man,
and this is the Swamp Chute.

28
00:02:03,578 --> 00:02:05,205
Holy shit, dude. You all right?

29
00:02:05,313 --> 00:02:07,304
What? I can't hear, kind of.

30
00:02:07,415 --> 00:02:09,076
"I can't ...