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1
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,026
Look at you.

2
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,689
Look over here.
Okay, great, great.
WOMAN: All right,
let's do this.

3
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,460
Do you like my new dress?
Okay, ready?

4
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,468
All right, say "cheese."

5
00:01:09,536 --> 00:01:12,198
ALL: Cheese...
Oh, wait. Excuse me,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

6
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:16,800
Maybe it's just me,
but can I just say,
why "cheese"?

7
00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:20,209
I know it's not your fault,
obviously you didn't
make it up, but please,

8
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,180
it makes us look like
pod people.

9
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,909
How about something
more snapshot like?

10
00:01:23,983 --> 00:01:25,211
Au naturel.

11
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,786
WOMAN: That's good.
I think we've got it, though,
don't you?

12
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,020
I'm living the dream
over here.

13
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,656
Honey, did you see that
young man Cousin Dougy
brought with him?

14
00:01:38,731 --> 00:01:40,289
He's been staring
at you all afternoon.

15
00:01:40,366 --> 00:01:43,062
Don't destroy the cake.
I used fresh tangerines.

16
00:01:43,136 --> 00:01:44,626
Can you taste it
in the frosting?

17
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,071
Has he really? It's delicious.
Yeah, God,
his eyes are gorgeous.

18
00:01:48,141 --> 00:01:50,541
They're kind.
And they're gorgeous. Go on.

19
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,077
I'll go over.
You will?

20
00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,476
Yeah.
Okay. All right.

21
00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:54,843
Oh, but, honey.

22
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,314
Just don't do that thing
you do.
What thing, Mom?

23
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,647
Oh, you know
that little thing.
It's no big deal.

24
00:01:59,719 --> 00:02:01,949
That, you know,
when you're insecure,
you're self-conscious,

25
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,387
that little very loud,
nervous laugh?

26
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,822
Honey, it's adorable, but...

27
00:02:05,892 --> 00:02:08,622
Oh, God, look, there she goes.
Oh, look.

28
00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:09,957
MAE: Oh, I know,
we see it.

29
00:02:10,029 --> 00:02:11,929
She only buttons
the part she can see
in the mirror.

30
00:02:11,998 --> 00:02:16,059
At least she shaves more than
the front of her legs now,
she's got almost the whole...

31
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:17,467
Hi.
Hi.

32
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,334
Okay, it's going...
It's okay.

33
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:20,394
Yeah.

34
00:02:21,407 --> 00:02:22,533
(SNORTING)

35
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,500
Uh-oh. Kiss of death.

36
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,541
(SIGHS)

37
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:30,506
(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

38
00:02:30,583 --> 00:02:32,380
WOMAN: It was so...
DAPHNE: You're beautiful.

39
00:02:32,452 --> 00:02:34,647
MAE: Are we going to
do the picture?
MAGGIE: All right,
let's do this.

40
00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:35,915
Let's just do it, okay?
Okay.

41
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,217
This time I think
we should pose.

42
00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,382
I think we should
pose for one.

43
00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,655
Oh, wait a minute, wait.
Hold on for just one second,
okay? Where's Mil?

44
00:02:41,728 --> 00:02:44,219
Oh, God, how did we
lose her?

45
00:02:44,297 --> 00:02:46,390
Milly? Where are you?

46
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:52,232
I'm upstairs,
with Uncle Harold's nephew.

47
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:54,239
The politically-active
open-hearted journalist?

48
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,639
Mil, let me get your sisters
in on this.

49
00:02:56,709 --> 00:02:57,903
Maggie, what do you do?

50
00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,035
You hit "Speaker," Mom.

51
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:00,272
No, no, I know.
Okay, I knew that, but...

52
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,938
No, but the one
that says "speak."

53
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,245
Mil, we're here,
we're all here.
ALL. : Hi.

54
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:05,545
So how's it going?

55
00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:07,779
It's good.
It's good.

56
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,651
Okay.
The only thing is

57
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:14,158
I think he may have
a hot dog with a bun.

58
00:03:15,161 --> 00:03:17,061
Are you having a picnic? What?

59
00:03:17,130 --> 00:03:19,655
No. Uncircumcised is back in.

60
00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:22,496
You know that guy I dated
before Derek, he had a...

61
00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:25,037
And I preferred it
because it was
so much more dramatic.

62
00:03:25,104 --> 00:03:26,537
When it finally made its
appearance, you were like...

63
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:28,073
(EXCLAIMS)
What's in there?

64
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:29,768
Just stop it for a second.
Just a little...

65
00:03:29,842 --> 00:03:31,776
This is your wedding.
All right.

66
00:03:31,844 --> 00:03:35,746
Honey, just remember,
he's accomplished
and he's considerate.

67
00:03:35,815 --> 00:03:38,613
And don't forget,
you have one breast
smaller than the other.

68
00:03:38,685 --> 00:03:41,381
Thank you, Mom. God.

69
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,949
Wait, didn't he get back
together with his wife?

70
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,491
Oh, no.

71
00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:51,895
Well, Milly,
congratulations
on your first wedding.

72
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,766
Let's hope it's the first
of many. Cheers.

73
00:03:57,870 --> 00:03:59,235
All right.

74
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:03,339
A little thyme, remember?
For hope.

75
00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:06,139
And they say lavender
for remembrance.

76
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:07,907
But my grandmother
preferred marigolds

77
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:11,348
'cause she said
it made you remember
only the good stuff.

78
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:16,655
I feel like making love to you

79
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,123
My God. All right,
we gotta cut off the champagne

80
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,594
and get some food
in their stomachs
before there's an encore.

81
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,598
Let's go ahead
and get the entrées ready,
all right?

82
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:28,031
Thank you.

83
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,398
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

84
00:04:32,605 --> 00:04:33,970
Not a good time.

85
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:37,175
Honey, I was just thinking
about that brilliant

86
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:40,872
but went-overboard-
with-the-teeth-bleaching
flute player from Ohio.

87
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,981
Yup, he actually stopped
by work to surprise me.

88
00:04:44,050 --> 00:04:45,210
Hey.
DAPHNE: How sweet.

89
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,845
He's getting to know
my staff as we speak.

90
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,650
I guess I was wrong.
I mean, I had him pegged

91
00:04:50,723 --> 00:04:53,157
for one of those guys
who wants you
till he's got you

92
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,490
and then doesn't think twice
about sleeping
with your best friend.

93
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:57,495
You know, that kind of guy.

94
00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:00,498
No, no, Mom. He's great.
Beautiful, beautiful.

95
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:04,297
You know, Mom, I gotta go.
We're about to serve
the entrées.

96
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:06,429
And I wore those shoes
that we just bought,

97
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:08,303
no wonder they were on sale,
my feet are killing me.

98
00:05:08,374 --> 00:05:10,069
I'm gonna call you
when I get home, okay?
I love you, bye.

99
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,843
Milly.

100
00:06:04,797 --> 00:06:06,822
FEMALE VOICE. :
You have no messages.

101
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,061
Oh!

102
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:13,730
That's it, Cooper.

103
00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,131
DAPHNE: Whose idea
was this?
A Korean spa?

104
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,667
MAE: Mine.
Oy.

105
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:18,101
Ma, why do you wear
the high-tops?

106
00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:19,763
I just got these.
What's wrong with these?

107
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,170
They're just kind of
depressing.

108
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,300
They're kind of something
you would wear in a hospital.

109
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,078
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
Wait a sec, I'll have
you know, young ladies,

110
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:29,876
that this underwear
enhances the female form,

111
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:33,146
highlighting the elegance
of the waist and making
the legs appear longer,

112
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:35,585
instead of the...
Well, I'm sorry to say this,

113
00:07:35,655 --> 00:07:38,715
but the awful, you know,
foreshortening aspect
of a thong,

114
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,760
which breaks up
the body disproportionately.

115
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:44,922
Mom, come on,
for your 60th birthday,
we're gonna break you down

116
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,294
and we're gonna buy you
something beautiful,

117
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:47,923
something that Grandma Moses
would not wear.

118
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,831
Yes, you are.
And speaking of your birthday,

119
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,029
we've talked about possibly,

120
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,969
like, a really small party.
We feel you should
have a party.

121
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,132
Not a big one.
Just intimate.

122
00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,197
Elegant...
Something very sophisticated.

123
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,469
Because it's a really big
milestone for you, Mom.

124
00:07:57,543 --> 00:07:59,841
No. Misses, no.
Absolutely no.
Misses...

125
00:07:59,912 --> 00:08:02,904
No, I'm not going to
talk about it, we're not
going to think about it

126
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:06,713
and certainly I'm not gonna
not celebrate the fact that
my life is basically over.

127
00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,152
Ma.
But I did find a recipe

128
00:08:09,222 --> 00:08:12,089
for a butterscotch buttercream
cake that is to die for.

129
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:14,388
We got her.
Totally got her.

130
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:17,088
Massage naked.
Take all clothes off.

131
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,495
No. Not now, pal. No.

132
00:08:19,565 --> 00:08:21,260
No.

133
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,665
(SPEAKING KOREAN)

134
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,869
Whose idea was this?

135
00:08:25,938 --> 00:08:28,429
Which one of you could
possibly think that
I would ever enjoy this?

136
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:31,409
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
No, it was not. It was so you.

137
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,001
Just you wait.

138
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,678
No.

139
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:36,678
Hi, babe.

140
00:08:43,956 --> 00:08:45,116
Okay.

141
00:08:57,036 --> 00:08:58,526
(SOBBING)

142
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,967
Honey, I'm worried about you.

143
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:04,271
It's not sad sobbing.
I promise, Mom,
I'm fine, I'm fine.

144
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:08,370
It's just the pressure point
reflex thing.

145
00:09:08,681 --> 00:09:09,705
(MASSEUSE
SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

146
00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:10,771
Pardon?

147
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,044
What kind of oil
would you like?

148
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,018
Oh, wakana oh yulike
to you too.

149
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:17,249
Mom.
What? It's a greeting.

150
00:09:17,356 --> 00:09:18,482
(BOTH SPEAKING KOREAN)

151
00:09:23,863 --> 00:09:25,125
(EXCLAIMS)

152
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:28,356
Hey, wait. What are you...
What are you...

153
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:32,231
What are you doing here now?
Hey, that's the head.
That's...

154
00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:35,372
Soft to hard. Soft to hard.

155
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:36,941
(SCREAMS)

156
00:09:37,009 --> 00:09:38,567
God damn it.

157
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,480
Oh, my God.

158
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:51,421
Girls, she's not back
with Rafferty, is she?

159
00:09:51,490 --> 00:09:53,822
She doesn't want to
talk about it, Mom.

160
00:09:53,893 --> 00:09:57,727
I knew it. I thought we got
rid of that pathologically
ambivalent narcissist

161
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,265
three years ago when he almost
stood you up at Mae's wedding.

162
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:01,732
Well, you know what, Mom?

163
00:10:01,801 --> 00:10:03,063
He's never gonna
stand me up again

164
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:06,195
because he's been sleeping
with my ex-boyfriend.

165
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,466
MAE: Oh, my God.
MAGGIE: Oh, God.

166
00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,269
MAGGIE: I could kill him.
DAPHNE: Oh, God.

167
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:11,398
(SPEAKING KOREAN)

168
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:21,443
You deserve somebody
who wants you,

169
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,681
somebody who's as good
and as kind as you are.

170
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,020
Why do you always
have to put me down?

171
00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:28,219
I'm not putting you...
Yes, you are.

172
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:30,489
Love is supposed to make you
feel good about yourself.

173
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:31,928
You shouldn't have to
settle for crumbs.

174
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:34,865
Okay, okay. I know.
I'm an idiot, okay?

175
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,902
I'm done. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
DAPHNE: No, no. No.

176
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:37,958
(SPEAKING KOREAN)

177
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,874
All right. You're the
psychologist in the family.

178
00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:46,605
What do you think we should do
about your sister?

179
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,375
I swear, with men,
she's like psychotic flypaper.

180
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:53,043
They're either gay,
married, unavailable
or out of their minds.

181
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:56,748
No, Mom, you have to leave her
alone. You have to quit
making her so insecure.

182
00:10:56,822 --> 00:10:58,687
She had the least
amount of time with Dad

183
00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,318
who wasn't exactly
a great male role model.

184
00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:04,659
And stop being a helicopter,
Mom, you're hovering.

185
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,726
You're right, you're right.

186
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:11,026
(CLICKS TONGUE)

187
00:11:11,103 --> 00:11:12,161
I'm gonna back off,

188
00:11:12,238 --> 00:11:15,207
I'm gonna give her some space
to sort things out
for herself.

189
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,400
Good.

190
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:18,702
Yeah.

191
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,276
If only I could choose
for her.

192
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,405
No.
No. That is so...

193
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:24,176
That is so
Fiddler on the Roof.

194
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:25,615
Your parents
didn't choose for you.

195
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:26,811
Yeah, but maybe
they should have.

196
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:30,322
You know what I think?
I think you're fixating on her

197
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:33,415
to avoid dealing with this
very big birthday
you have coming up.

198
00:11:33,492 --> 00:11:35,426
I am not fixating on her.

199
00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,327
Is it crazy for me
to want her to have

200
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,389
one healthy relationship
in her life?

201
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:43,935
I mean, come on,
if she keeps up this pattern

202
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,300
of wrong choice
after wrong choice...

203
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,805
I mean, okay, one thing
when you're in your 20s,

204
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:50,706
but 20 years later,
it's not so pretty.

205
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:53,873
Maggie?

206
00:11:54,814 --> 00:11:56,179
I don't...

207
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,916
I don't want her to end up
alone.

208
00:12:00,953 --> 00:12:03,148
You know what I realize?

209
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:06,749
I give up the search.
I don't need anybody.
I mean, look at Mom.

210
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,488
She's been single
most of her adult life
and she's lived a great life.

211
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:13,362
So you know what?
I'm going to be
just like you, Mom.

212
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,122
(GROANS)

213
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,627
Just like you.

214
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,101
DAPHNE: Milly, you are gonna
thank me for this later.

215
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,270
Okay.

216
00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:28,206
"Adult Friend Finder."

217
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:32,910
"Over 14 million members."
Well, that's a very good sign.

218
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:34,646
I like how they use
the word "friend."

219
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,780
Friendship is the cornerstone
of any good relationship.

220
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,584
(WOMAN MO ANING)

221
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:44,586
(BARKS)

222
00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:48,724
Oh, my God. Oh, sorry, Coop.
I'm sorry, honey.
Wait, okay. Wait. Shoot.

223
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,167
MAN. : Eat my dick.

224
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:57,000
No, no, no. Be quiet, okay?
Gone, gone.
All goney, right? Gone.

225
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,444
Cooper, quiet.

226
00:13:02,748 --> 00:13:04,340
(WOMAN MO ANING)

227
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:07,285
MAN. : Gateway customer support.
May I help you?

228
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:09,477
Mr. Online Support?

229
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:13,286
Yeah, no. What's happened is
my computer
has apparently frozen.

230
00:13:13,359 --> 00:13:17,261
No, I was just doing
a little bit of pre-Christmas
online shopping.

231
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,797
Why do you need to know
what site I'm on?

232
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,124
(MAN GRUNTING)

233
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,760
Oh, my God.

234
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,572
God darn.

235
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,042
Hello, is this We Match 4 You?

236
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:39,209
"Let me preface this ad by
saying if you are a nut job,
pervert or fruitcake, move on.

237
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:42,584
"Nudists, mama's boys,
the sexually confused
need not apply."

238
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:47,354
"Anarchists, xenophobes,
philistines, masochists,
sexists, bigots not welcome."

239
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:51,089
I know it's $5 a word.
No, well, don't worry.

240
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:52,825
I'm not that talky.

241
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:56,493
So let's just take it from
page two. "Chronically itchy."

242
00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:59,868
"I'm looking for someone
with a steady job
who knows the value of work.

243
00:13:59,939 --> 00:14:03,670
"That does not exclude
the independently wealthy."

244
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,703
Okay, hope that goes out...

245
00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:11,443
Polka dots. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I like it.

246
00:14:13,085 --> 00:14:14,052
I like it, I like it.

247
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:28,956
Oh.

248
00:14:32,738 --> 00:14:36,834
Hi. You must be Daphne Wilder.
It's so nice to meet you.

249
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,934
Let's date your daughter.

250
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,677
MAN: I'll just dig in
real quick,
'cause I'm hypoglycemic,

251
00:14:42,748 --> 00:14:46,445
'cause otherwise my
blood sugar hits the ground
and... You know? Okay.

252
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:50,716
I was just wondering
what you think the cornerstone
of any good relationship is?

253
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:52,688
What is in there?

254
00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:55,852
So why don't you just
free associate, okay?
I say marriage, you say...

255
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:56,986
I say marriage.

256
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:59,257
No, no, I say marriage and...
I say marriage.

257
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:01,458
Right, but that's not what
I meant. I meant that...

258
00:15:01,533 --> 00:15:02,557
I...
I...

259
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:03,795
Me.
Me.

260
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:04,995
(MAN SNEEZES)

261
00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:09,063
I have a slight allergy
to dander and nut meats.

262
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,900
Okay, done,
thank you very much.

263
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,376
It's been wonderful
meeting you.
Thank you.

264
00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:17,279
Appreciate it, yeah. Right.
Thank you very much.
Okay, yeah.

265
00:15:17,349 --> 00:15:19,214
If I say marriage,
then what do you say?

266
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:20,582
Vera Wang.

267
00:15:31,497 --> 00:15:32,486
Your name is?

268
00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,031
Louie.
Huey.

269
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,892
(SINGING)

270
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:41,801
I've already got a woody.

271
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:44,431
Uh!

272
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,342
How old did you say you were?

273
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:54,881
(EXCLAIMS)

274
00:15:55,754 --> 00:15:58,348
My name is Dr. Iris McDunna.

275
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,915
I'm sorry, I'm right
in the middle here, Iris.
I know.

276
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:03,860
I read your ad,
"You'll know me
by my polka dots."

277
00:16:03,929 --> 00:16:08,059
I'm a licensed psychologist
and I wanted to offer you
my services.

278
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:11,000
I wanted to suggest
that as a mother,

279
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:15,302
you attend, free of charge,
one of my Letting Go seminars.

280
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:18,036
Hi. I think we were
supposed to meet now.

281
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,781
Yeah. Oh, that's...

282
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,213
Right.

283
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,848
Right. That is so...

284
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:30,047
Iris, I'm so sorry.
I can't afford to be rude.

285
00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:32,556
I'll leave you my card.

286
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:35,588
Thank you so terribly much.

287
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:41,227
God. Thank you,
whoever you are.
I'll have another. Another.

288
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,859
I really don't think
I can't get through
another one of these

289
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,563
without being
heavily medicated.

290
00:16:45,637 --> 00:16:47,662
That bad, huh?
Bad?

291
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,330
(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Like...

292
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,408
(STAMMERING)

293
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:52,969
Wow.

294
00:16:54,947 --> 00:16:57,415
And I like that you're going
for a younger guy.

295
00:16:57,483 --> 00:16:59,041
Me?

296
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,386
No, no, no.
That ship's docked.

297
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:06,982
No. No, this is
for my daughter.

298
00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:13,227
Let me get this straight.
So you're meeting these guys
for her?

299
00:17:13,298 --> 00:17:14,322
Uh-huh.

300
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,391
So she's cool with you
doing this for her, then.

301
00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,766
Maybe you should just
go play your guitar.

302
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,998
She doesn't know, does she?

303
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,332
Look.

304
00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:28,178
I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for the fact
that Milly is...

305
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:29,737
She's at a crossroads
in her life.

306
00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:32,283
Another hard left
and I really...

307
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:37,254
She's like this person
who's too sensitive.
You know what I mean?

308
00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:40,724
She's an innocent.
She's a pushover.

309
00:17:42,361 --> 00:17:43,953
I'm usually not this
in-the-muck-of-it.

310
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:47,465
I mean, actually,
I consider myself
a reasonably sane mother.

311
00:17:47,533 --> 00:17:50,001
Well, yeah,
it is a crazy love, though.

312
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,869
I mean, who's to say
I wouldn't do the same
for my own kid?

313
00:17:54,807 --> 00:17:55,796
Mmm.

314
00:17:55,941 --> 00:17:59,274
Excuse me. I'm Jason Grant.
I don't mean to interrupt.

315
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:00,402
I've been waiting
over by the bar,

316
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:03,937
but I only have so much time
before I have to
get back to work.

317
00:18:07,386 --> 00:18:09,320
DAPHNE: I just wanted to
ask you about your family.

318
00:18:09,388 --> 00:18:14,621
Yeah, well, my dad is an
engineer who was always
a closet architect.

319
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:18,794
And I grew up
with a love of old buildings.
I know what you mean.

320
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:22,726
So I suppose I became
the architect that he always
dreamed of being.

321
00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:25,235
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.

322
00:18:26,505 --> 00:18:28,336
Oh, thank you, dear Lord.

323
00:18:29,741 --> 00:18:31,003
Can I order you something?

324
00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,443
You know, actually it turns
out I'm so not hungry at all.

325
00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:38,472
Let me get you the funghi
chitarrina misto. It's the
best-kept secret in the city.

326
00:18:38,550 --> 00:18:39,812
Can we have two orders
of that, please?

327
00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:42,877
And a bottle of the
Castellare Chianti Poggiale.

328
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:46,151
If you insist, huh?
No, I do, I do.

329
00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:52,263
Do you mind my asking why
a man like you hasn't found
a woman already?

330
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,161
Well, I'll admit
I'm a bit of a workaholic.

331
00:18:55,234 --> 00:18:57,293
It's a very important time
in my career right now.

332
00:18:57,369 --> 00:19:00,429
I've found women
but just not the right one.

333
00:19:00,506 --> 00:19:02,440
A lot of great "almosts"
out there.

334
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,738
Oh, yeah, a lot of "almosts."

335
00:19:05,577 --> 00:19:06,703
Yeah.

336
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:10,742
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

337
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,340
You speak Italian, huh?

338
00:19:12,417 --> 00:19:14,408
No, I fake Italian.

339
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,646
I'd really love to learn it.

340
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,951
You know, Milly happens to be
a phenomenal cook.

341
00:19:18,023 --> 00:19:20,082
She's always wanted to take
a cooking tour of Italy.

342
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,855
Oh, wow, I was gonna
go there this fall.
Really?

343
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,418
But it's a crazy time
for me right now.

344
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,693
My company is celebrating
their tenth anniversary.

345
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:28,755
Oh.

346
00:19:29,067 --> 00:19:30,967
You're gonna need
a caterer then.

347
00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:34,164
I mean, those kinds of
occasions should be marked,
don't you think?

348
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:39,966
You are good. So James Bond.
Yes.

349
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,174
Well, it was a pleasure
to meet you, Daphne Wilder.

350
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:46,240
Well, Jason, my pleasure.

351
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,445
Gotta love a woman
in polka dots.

352
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,387
Not everyone can pull it off.
Thank you.

353
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:54,449
Bye.

354
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,857
Bye-bye.
Bye.

355
00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:01,822
Oh, my God.

356
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,266
Oh, yes.

357
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:06,630
And the winner is?

358
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:10,375
Duh. Hands down,
bachelor number 17.

359
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:11,932
Him?
Yes.

360
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:13,901
Oh, I don't trust that guy.

361
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:15,913
That guy was playing you
like a slide guitar.

362
00:20:15,981 --> 00:20:17,448
He was not.

363
00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:20,314
He's a very stable,
responsible, mature young man.

364
00:20:20,385 --> 00:20:21,750
He has empty eyes.

365
00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:24,914
They were not empty.
And who am I supposed to
choose anyway, huh?

366
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,982
Who do you think is better?
Me.

367
00:20:28,393 --> 00:20:29,553
What?

368
00:20:30,629 --> 00:20:32,153
I like you.

369
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:35,723
And I have an odd instinct
that I'd like her too.
Maybe I should meet her.

370
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,964
Let me be perfectly honest
with you, okay?

371
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,766
You're a very charming guy,
irresistible, in fact.

372
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:45,207
And that's why I know
you would be
a horrendous choice

373
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:48,576
because I'm not looking for
a great affair
for my daughter.

374
00:20:48,647 --> 00:20:51,047
You know, like,
gorgeous musician
who's gonna break her heart.

375
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:52,549
I'm looking for
a life partner.

376
00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:53,812
That's great. Thanks.

377
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:57,878
Yeah, no, I love being reduced
to a cultural cliché.
That's just terrific.

378
00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:01,221
Because only musicians
break people's hearts. Wow.

379
00:21:01,827 --> 00:21:02,816
Uh...

380
00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:06,326
It's not the only place
I have them.

381
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,835
Well, look,
you're a great guy.

382
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:14,963
I hope you have a great life.

383
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,440
But I have to do
what's best for my daughter.

384
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:18,874
Yeah, of course you do,

385
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,412
but maybe you don't know
what's best for your daughter.

386
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,175
I beg your pardon?

387
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:26,274
Maybe you do.

388
00:21:26,652 --> 00:21:28,210
Maybe I do.

389
00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:30,978
Nice to meet you, Daphne.

390
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:33,851
Pleasure. Pleasure.

391
00:21:48,607 --> 00:21:49,869
Here we are.

392
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:51,706
Almost here.

393
00:21:51,777 --> 00:21:55,178
Yeah, we've landed.
We're in heaven.
Oh, my God.

394
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,580
Oh, my God. Look. Oh, God.
Mil, look at this.

395
00:21:58,650 --> 00:22:03,314
Mom, it's polka dots. It's so
Minnie Mouse. I don't even
know if I like it. Do I?

396
00:22:03,388 --> 00:22:04,753
I'm hearing you hate it.

397
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:07,257
Me, too.
Oh, please, just try it on.

398
00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:08,725
Why?

399
00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,523
Because I said so.

400
00:22:10,595 --> 00:22:12,426
Honey, look,
it might surprise you.

401
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:15,227
Anyway, you look beautiful
in dresses. In fact,
you know what I think?

402
00:22:15,300 --> 00:22:17,461
I think that you should
wear it to that catered affair
on Sunday.

403
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:19,902
To work? Mom,
I spill things all the time.

404
00:22:19,971 --> 00:22:22,405
Oh, come on, just try it on.
All right.

405
00:22:24,509 --> 00:22:26,909
Okay. That's incredible.

406
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:28,843
It's not really me at all.

407
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,075
What are you talking about?
It is totally you.

408
00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:33,014
Well, it's sort of
more you in a way.

409
00:22:33,085 --> 00:22:36,077
You know what it is,
it's kind of Aunt Jemima
meets Betty Crocker.

410
00:22:36,154 --> 00:22:38,952
You know, that's ridiculous.

411
00:22:39,558 --> 00:22:41,253
Come on, sweetie,
you know what I'm going to do?

412
00:22:41,326 --> 00:22:43,453
I made up my mind.
I'm going to get it for you.

413
00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,189
No, no, no. You're not
getting me this dress.

414
00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:47,754
I don't even like it
and it's absurd for work.

415
00:22:47,833 --> 00:22:48,891
No.

416
00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:54,394
Hello.

417
00:23:07,853 --> 00:23:09,184
Excuse me.

418
00:23:11,890 --> 00:23:15,087
These meatballs
are my mom's recipe.

419
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:17,856
Fantastic, I recommend
everybody try some.

420
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:28,232
I love that shade of orchid.

421
00:23:28,306 --> 00:23:29,295
Uh-huh.

422
00:23:33,345 --> 00:23:34,676
Thank you, Matisse.

423
00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:39,110
The chicken satay has got
a really unique flavor.
What'd you use?

424
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:43,018
It's cumin. I'm so sorry,
I can't really chat right now.

425
00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:46,751
You guys,
the chocolate waterfall's
not in the right spot.

426
00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,383
Oh, no, we can't have that.

427
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:50,860
You know what?
Let's just go ahead
and just shift everything over

428
00:23:50,929 --> 00:23:52,726
so it frames the temple doors.
Thank you.

429
00:23:52,798 --> 00:23:55,266
Yeah. That's the perfect spot.

430
00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:58,264
So, you like the building?

431
00:23:58,336 --> 00:24:00,065
I actually think
it's a little cold.

432
00:24:02,174 --> 00:24:04,699
I'm Jason Grant.
I'm the architect.

433
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,910
Milly. Nice to meet you.

434
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:14,307
(MILLY SNORTING)

435
00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:16,981
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

436
00:24:18,957 --> 00:24:20,982
Come on, Mom.
Pick up the phone.

437
00:24:22,394 --> 00:24:23,691
(EXCLAIMS)

438
00:24:26,331 --> 00:24:28,299
Oh, Daphne. Here we go. Hello.

439
00:24:28,366 --> 00:24:29,731
Oh, Mom, hi, it's me.

440
00:24:29,801 --> 00:24:31,496
I have to tell you
the most amazing thing
happened.

441
00:24:31,570 --> 00:24:33,037
This guy at work
asked me out.

442
00:24:33,104 --> 00:24:34,901
He did?
Yes, he's so cute.

443
00:24:34,973 --> 00:24:37,498
Mom, he's an architect.
We're gonna go out
Saturday night.

444
00:24:37,576 --> 00:24:39,908
Oh, you are?
I'm just so excited.
I'm so excited.

445
00:24:39,978 --> 00:24:44,881
Milly, well, that is
really great, sweetie.
That is so darn great.

446
00:24:44,950 --> 00:24:46,349
It's great, right?

447
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:49,012
Mom, he's so cute,
I can't even believe
that it's happening to me.

448
00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:50,850
And he loved the polka dots.
Thank you.

449
00:24:50,922 --> 00:24:52,583
Oh, yeah?
Thank you Mom. Yes.

450
00:24:52,657 --> 00:24:56,184
Well, honey, it's just,
I guess, dumb luck.

451
00:24:56,261 --> 00:24:57,853
You're the best. I love you.
Okay.

452
00:24:57,929 --> 00:24:59,021
Bye.
Bye.

453
00:24:59,264 --> 00:25:00,288
(WHOOPS)

454
00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:02,060
Coop, come on!

455
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:03,258
(LAUGHING)

456
00:25:03,335 --> 00:25:04,393
Yep.

457
00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:10,802
Hello, Jason, this is Bond.

458
00:25:11,576 --> 00:25:15,171
James Bond. Call me.
I'm hearing rave reviews.

459
00:25:26,825 --> 00:25:30,090
All right, I just pulled up.
I'm walking in.

460
00:25:30,161 --> 00:25:32,459
It's okay. Don't worry.
I'm here, I'm here.

461
00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:35,925
(CAR HONKING)
Sorry, sorry.

462
00:25:36,001 --> 00:25:37,764
No, no, they're not angry.

463
00:25:37,836 --> 00:25:39,667
They're not... Hold on. Sorry.

464
00:25:39,738 --> 00:25:43,037
They're just... They're
probably hungry or something.

465
00:25:43,108 --> 00:25:47,807
Feed them the spring rolls
from the Adams wedding

466
00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:51,974
and the sauce
from the Levy wedding.

467
00:25:53,018 --> 00:25:55,680
All right, I'm walking in.
Okay, bye.

468
00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:24,681
There's a lot of static
out there.

469
00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:26,444
You can say that again.

470
00:26:26,518 --> 00:26:28,509
There's a lot of static
out there.

471
00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:31,681
You know it's caused
by a lack of humidity
in the air

472
00:26:31,756 --> 00:26:34,782
that causes an imbalance
of the positive and negative
charges.

473
00:26:34,859 --> 00:26:39,796
You know, ice cream is known
to cut the static cling
in 98% of most cases.

474
00:26:39,864 --> 00:26:42,332
I love ice cream,
but I'm really late to work.

475
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,369
And I'm so sorry.
Nice tattoo, though.

476
00:26:46,438 --> 00:26:47,871
What flavor?

477
00:26:50,342 --> 00:26:52,173
Why don't you get me
your favorite?

478
00:26:52,243 --> 00:26:54,473
Why don't I get your favorite?

479
00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:00,877
Okay.

480
00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:05,421
I'll have the Fudgsicle.

481
00:27:05,490 --> 00:27:07,856
Oh, no, no. The Dreamsicle.

482
00:27:07,926 --> 00:27:09,291
Wait. Is that
the tall rainbow one

483
00:27:09,361 --> 00:27:12,489
that's really
embarrassing to eat,
but it's really, really good?

484
00:27:12,731 --> 00:27:13,755
Okay. Never mind.

485
00:27:13,832 --> 00:27:16,596
I will have the Dreamsicly one
that has the green wrapper

486
00:27:16,668 --> 00:27:18,829
with the Japanese writing
on it.

487
00:27:18,903 --> 00:27:20,234
Thank you.

488
00:27:30,415 --> 00:27:32,906
I'm really beginning to feel
like I'm never going to
meet anyone

489
00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:35,077
and it's making me
feel hopeless.

490
00:27:35,487 --> 00:27:40,356
Well, as I've said before,
Stuart, Sheila was a huge
loss, but that was 1993.

491
00:27:40,425 --> 00:27:42,222
Oh, it's still so fresh.

492
00:27:43,294 --> 00:27:45,125
This makes me feel like
when I was in the 2nd grade,

493
00:27:45,196 --> 00:27:48,097
and I walked around
with a booger in my nose
all day and nobody told me.

494
00:27:48,166 --> 00:27:49,190
Why didn't they tell me?

495
00:27:49,267 --> 00:27:52,065
Well, more to the point,
why didn't Sheila tell you
she was unhappy?

496
00:27:52,137 --> 00:27:53,695
Oh, God, this is making me
feel nauseous.

497
00:27:53,772 --> 00:27:55,296
Maybe I should change
my appointment time

498
00:27:55,373 --> 00:27:56,897
from Thursdays at 3:00
to Mondays at 1:00.

499
00:27:56,975 --> 00:27:58,533
No, Stuart,
we've tried that before.

500
00:27:58,610 --> 00:28:00,407
You had Fridays at 1:00
and Tuesdays at 11:00.

501
00:28:00,478 --> 00:28:02,343
It really didn't help
your hypoglycemia.

502
00:28:02,414 --> 00:28:04,609
Now let's focus
on where we ended last time.

503
00:28:04,683 --> 00:28:06,275
Meeting new people,

504
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:09,218
joining an adult-education
class or a book club.

505
00:28:09,287 --> 00:28:11,414
I did go to an
Internet dating service.

506
00:28:11,489 --> 00:28:13,821
Good for you.
That's very brave.

507
00:28:13,892 --> 00:28:15,757
It was a nightmare,
Dr. Wilder-Decker.

508
00:28:15,827 --> 00:28:20,127
It made me
want to kill myself,
even more than the last time.

509
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:24,294
Wow. Well, what triggered
those feelings, Stuart?

510
00:28:24,402 --> 00:28:25,426
(GROANS)

511
00:28:25,503 --> 00:28:29,769
This mother put an ad out
looking for a mate for her
daughter and I answered it.

512
00:28:29,841 --> 00:28:32,435
A mate for her daughter?

513
00:28:32,510 --> 00:28:34,444
Stuart, some people
really shouldn't have kids.

514
00:28:34,512 --> 00:28:37,743
I guess I didn't pass the test
because she made me
feel about this big.

515
00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:39,283
Well, I wouldn't worry
about that, Stuart.

516
00:28:39,350 --> 00:28:41,545
Imagine how screwed up
any daughter of hers would be.

517
00:28:41,619 --> 00:28:44,281
And then when I pressed her
as to why I couldn't
meet her precious daughter,

518
00:28:44,355 --> 00:28:46,255
do you know what she said?
I really hear
it didn't go well.

519
00:28:46,324 --> 00:28:48,690
"Because I said so.
That's why."

520
00:28:50,462 --> 00:28:53,226
Mother, how could you?
When are you planning
on telling her?

521
00:28:53,298 --> 00:28:54,287
Well, why does
she need to know?

522
00:28:54,365 --> 00:28:56,856
I mean as long as she's happy,
that's all that's important.

523
00:28:56,935 --> 00:28:59,028
And, my goodness, who knows?

524
00:28:59,170 --> 00:29:01,365
This architect could be
the real magilla.

525
00:29:01,439 --> 00:29:02,633
As I've always said,

526
00:29:02,707 --> 00:29:06,336
"God couldn't be everywhere,
and that is why
he made mothers."

527
00:29:06,411 --> 00:29:08,777
What? That was on
a Hallmark card we gave you,

528
00:29:08,847 --> 00:29:10,212
and Milly thought
it was too corny.

529
00:29:10,281 --> 00:29:13,978
Don't you dare tell her,
Maggie, or you and I are gonna
have some serious issues.

530
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:16,714
Well, we already have
some serious issues, Mom.

531
00:29:16,788 --> 00:29:17,777
(SCREAMS)

532
00:29:18,356 --> 00:29:20,290
Always so dramatic.

533
00:29:20,358 --> 00:29:23,885
Mother, this is like 6th grade
drama club. Speak English.

534
00:29:29,834 --> 00:29:31,324
(DOORBELL RINGS)

535
00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:33,893
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

536
00:29:35,140 --> 00:29:36,539
Oh, hi, honey.

537
00:29:36,608 --> 00:29:37,632
Oh, Mom.

538
00:29:37,709 --> 00:29:39,904
I was just in the neighborhood
and I thought I'd drop by.

539
00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:42,276
Okay, Mom. Please,
you have to start calling me.

540
00:29:42,347 --> 00:29:44,281
I have a date that's
on his way over right now.

541
00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:46,078
Oh, but Milly,
you look so beautiful.

542
00:29:46,151 --> 00:29:47,982
Are you sure you want to
wear that dress, though?

543
00:29:48,052 --> 00:29:49,349
It was such a hit
the first time.
I know,

544
00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:51,012
but don't you think
you ought to mix it up
a little bit?

545
00:29:51,089 --> 00:29:53,489
What for?
Well, okay, you know,
you're right.

546
00:29:53,558 --> 00:29:56,959
You're right.
It looks perfect on you
and everything about it.

547
00:29:57,028 --> 00:30:00,555
I'm just sort of wondering,
if maybe you ought to
button those buttons.

548
00:30:00,632 --> 00:30:02,827
No, no, I like it like this.

549
00:30:02,901 --> 00:30:04,869
Milly, you look like
you're asking for it.

550
00:30:04,936 --> 00:30:06,369
I am asking for it.

551
00:30:06,437 --> 00:30:09,406
Okay, all right, I'll pretend
I didn't hear that.

552
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,408
All right, what are you
going to do with your hair?

553
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:12,807
I already did it.

554
00:30:12,877 --> 00:30:15,471
Oh, of course you did.
Sure you did.

555
00:30:16,047 --> 00:30:19,073
And you're making cookies too?
That's about
the sweetest touch.

556
00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:22,051
No, actually, I just want the
house to smell like cookies
when he gets over here.

557
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,918
Mom, it's 6:49, look.
And he's supposed to
be here at 7:00.

558
00:30:24,989 --> 00:30:27,150
You have to go, please,
please, please.
Okay. I can take a hint.

559
00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:28,749
It's not a hint. Mom, go.
All right.

560
00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:30,089
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Oh, he's here. He's here.

561
00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:31,150
Okay, you gotta go.
All right.

562
00:30:31,229 --> 00:30:32,321
You gotta go please, Mom, Mom.
All right.

563
00:30:32,397 --> 00:30:34,194
But wait, sweetie.
Just have a good time.
Okay.

564
00:30:34,265 --> 00:30:36,733
Feel free to be yourself,
but remember...
I love you, but you gotta go.

565
00:30:36,801 --> 00:30:40,396
...don't be too, you know,
forthcoming with all your
failed relationships.

566
00:30:40,471 --> 00:30:41,563
Okay, I got it.

567
00:30:41,639 --> 00:30:43,231
And sweetie, sweetie.
I love you.

568
00:30:43,308 --> 00:30:46,334
Keep that mystery alive.
I love you.
I love you for some reason.

569
00:30:46,411 --> 00:30:47,503
Okay.

570
00:30:47,579 --> 00:30:48,807
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

571
00:30:49,214 --> 00:30:52,206
I'm going to pull my hair out.
What? What, what?

572
00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:54,251
(DOORBELL RINGING)
I know, I know.
Just one more little thing.

573
00:30:54,319 --> 00:30:57,652
I don't know, Mom, I gotta go.
He's here.
I want you to wear this.

574
00:30:57,722 --> 00:31:00,054
Oh, my God.
Grandma's diamond?
Yeah.

575
00:31:00,658 --> 00:31:02,023
Put it on me, put it on me.

576
00:31:02,093 --> 00:31:03,458
I want to wear it tonight.
All right.

577
00:31:03,528 --> 00:31:05,291
Okay.
I know. I know, he's coming.

578
00:31:05,363 --> 00:31:07,331
Don't worry. Here we go.
Okay.

579
00:31:08,233 --> 00:31:12,169
Mom, you never let any of us
wear this. It's so special.

580
00:31:12,503 --> 00:31:14,232
So special.
Thank you.

581
00:31:15,773 --> 00:31:16,933
What?

582
00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:18,407
(DOORBELL RINGING)

583
00:31:18,476 --> 00:31:22,412
May it bring you luck with the
architect. Your sisters and
I will expect a full report.

584
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,469
Okay?
Okay.

585
00:31:23,548 --> 00:31:25,812
I'll give it to you tomorrow
night after I go out with him.

586
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:27,078
Tomorrow night?
Yeah, yeah.

587
00:31:27,151 --> 00:31:29,312
I'm going out with
another great guy tonight.

588
00:31:29,387 --> 00:31:31,947
He's taking me to Luna Station
to hear some music.

589
00:31:32,023 --> 00:31:33,650
You are?
Can you believe that, Mom?

590
00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:35,454
It's like I gave up,
I stopped trying

591
00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:37,687
and the universe brought me
two amazing guys.

592
00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:39,525
Great, right? Wow.
Whoa, that's so great.

593
00:31:39,597 --> 00:31:41,064
It's one of those
amazing things, huh?

594
00:31:41,132 --> 00:31:44,101
All right, sweetie.
Well now, bye.
Bye-bye.

595
00:31:51,376 --> 00:31:52,604
Go, go.

596
00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:55,042
Go, Mother, go.

597
00:31:57,715 --> 00:31:59,273
Hi.

598
00:31:59,684 --> 00:32:01,709
It was either this or roses.

599
00:32:03,054 --> 00:32:04,385
Thank you.

600
00:32:05,890 --> 00:32:07,084
Come on in.
Cookies?

601
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:08,147
Yeah.

602
00:32:08,226 --> 00:32:09,386
(CHUCKLES)
Nice.

603
00:32:11,296 --> 00:32:15,198
Really seem to have
such a different approach
and attitude towards life

604
00:32:15,266 --> 00:32:18,929
that people don't really
get here as much, I think.

605
00:32:22,073 --> 00:32:24,473
Okay, don't worry.
We're gonna get
a quick look at who he is

606
00:32:24,542 --> 00:32:25,531
and then we're gonna go home

607
00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:28,545
and finish watching
Gary Cooper in
Love in the Afternoon.

608
00:32:30,882 --> 00:32:32,349
(HORN HONKING)

609
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:39,014
Come on, man.
Okay. Yes. Yeah.

610
00:32:40,925 --> 00:32:44,417
Okay. Go, go, baby.
Okay, okay.

611
00:32:49,367 --> 00:32:50,629
Come on.

612
00:32:52,270 --> 00:32:53,999
(CARS HONKING)

613
00:32:54,973 --> 00:32:57,999
Coop, Coop, everything's okay,
sweetie. Where the heck am I?

614
00:32:58,076 --> 00:32:59,634
God. Okay. Oh, jeez.

615
00:32:59,711 --> 00:33:02,179
Okay. Let me just...
Okay, I'll turn this. Okay.

616
00:33:02,246 --> 00:33:04,305
ELECTRONIC VOICE. : Welcome,
what is your destination?

617
00:33:04,382 --> 00:33:06,282
Luna Station.

618
00:33:06,351 --> 00:33:07,909
Your address is...
Is, okay, what?

619
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:12,047
... 1242 Amherst Boulevard.
12...

620
00:33:12,123 --> 00:33:13,556
So where is Amherst?

621
00:33:13,624 --> 00:33:17,287
Continue north 2.4 miles
and then east.

622
00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:19,057
Well, where is north?
The left?

623
00:33:19,130 --> 00:33:20,529
Continue north
2.4 miles then east.

624
00:33:20,598 --> 00:33:22,156
Give me a left.
Give me a right. Left. Right.

625
00:33:22,233 --> 00:33:23,632
Something like...

626
00:33:23,701 --> 00:33:25,066
Please. For God's sake.

627
00:33:25,136 --> 00:33:26,467
You know what you are?
Continue north 2.4 miles...

628
00:33:26,537 --> 00:33:27,629
I'll tell you what you are.
... and then east.

629
00:33:27,705 --> 00:33:29,070
You are redundant.

630
00:33:29,140 --> 00:33:32,473
Continue north 2.4 miles
and then east.
And it's a horrible quality.

631
00:33:32,543 --> 00:33:34,477
You awful machine.
Continue, continue...

632
00:33:34,545 --> 00:33:38,140
And that's for you.
I'm sorry, command too loud.

633
00:33:46,124 --> 00:33:47,591
(CAR HONKING)

634
00:33:51,162 --> 00:33:52,424
(SCREAMS)

635
00:33:58,436 --> 00:33:59,733
Are you guys ready to rock?

636
00:34:00,671 --> 00:34:02,639
ALL: Yeah.
All right.

637
00:34:02,707 --> 00:34:05,073
Let's play something
for Milly over there.

638
00:34:05,143 --> 00:34:06,974
A little blues in E, okay?

639
00:34:07,045 --> 00:34:09,377
One, two, three, four.

640
00:34:11,382 --> 00:34:13,441
Now we're coming up on the A.

641
00:34:17,388 --> 00:34:19,879
Molly, that sounds terrific.

642
00:34:22,393 --> 00:34:23,724
I feel really bad.

643
00:34:23,795 --> 00:34:27,458
No, no, I would have done
the same thing if one of
my staff had called in sick.

644
00:34:27,532 --> 00:34:28,931
It's only gonna be
20 more minutes.

645
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:30,865
It's just that they memorized
an E progression

646
00:34:30,935 --> 00:34:32,903
and that is a major feat
for them.

647
00:34:32,970 --> 00:34:33,959
Okay.

648
00:34:34,038 --> 00:34:35,471
Yeah, I'll be right back.

649
00:34:35,540 --> 00:34:37,007
Go, Nicky.

650
00:34:37,341 --> 00:34:38,467
Yeah.

651
00:34:39,877 --> 00:34:41,970
A little bit harder
over there.

652
00:34:42,046 --> 00:34:44,640
Strum a little bit closer,
up here.

653
00:35:05,036 --> 00:35:06,663
That sounds really nice.

654
00:35:06,737 --> 00:35:09,001
Really?
Well, thank you, teacher.

655
00:35:09,974 --> 00:35:13,569
Actually, I love to sing.
My whole family loves to sing.

656
00:35:14,712 --> 00:35:16,907
And when I was younger,
I always wanted to
take piano lessons,

657
00:35:16,981 --> 00:35:19,415
but my mom was struggling
so much supporting us all

658
00:35:19,484 --> 00:35:22,715
that I just felt
way too guilty to ask.

659
00:35:24,088 --> 00:35:25,214
Here.

660
00:35:25,990 --> 00:35:27,082
What?

661
00:35:28,559 --> 00:35:29,719
What?

662
00:35:30,228 --> 00:35:33,288
Play what you were
playing before.
It sounded really good.

663
00:35:33,364 --> 00:35:34,888
Really?
Yeah.

664
00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:37,831
I'm no good, but okay.

665
00:35:38,736 --> 00:35:39,964
Try it.

666
00:35:44,509 --> 00:35:45,737
Like that?
Yeah.

667
00:35:45,810 --> 00:35:46,799
All righty.

668
00:35:48,446 --> 00:35:50,107
I'll take it up here.
Okay.

669
00:35:50,181 --> 00:35:51,910
We'll meet in the middle.

670
00:35:52,283 --> 00:35:54,080
It's down there.
Sorry.

671
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,416
How about I come close to you?

672
00:35:57,522 --> 00:35:59,012
I don't mind.

673
00:36:00,224 --> 00:36:01,555
All right.

674
00:36:04,061 --> 00:36:05,323
(DUCKS QUACKING)

675
00:36:05,396 --> 00:36:07,557
Why are there a lot of ducks
in Venice?

676
00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:10,362
Ten ducks are swimming
down the canal

677
00:36:10,434 --> 00:36:13,870
and one says,
"This place is quacked."

678
00:36:14,272 --> 00:36:15,830
(LAUGHING)

679
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:17,464
That's terrible.

680
00:36:17,542 --> 00:36:18,941
No, that's really cute,
actually.

681
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:20,602
It's very cute.

682
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:23,010
This is me. Come on in.

683
00:36:26,517 --> 00:36:31,113
I love this. It's so cozy.
Thanks.

684
00:36:31,989 --> 00:36:33,547
So comfy.
Yeah.

685
00:36:33,624 --> 00:36:35,751
Three, two, one, blast off.

686
00:36:35,826 --> 00:36:37,657
I'm in orbit. I'm in orbit.

687
00:36:37,728 --> 00:36:41,425
Okay, Lionel,
let's... All right.
Okay, come back here.

688
00:36:41,499 --> 00:36:44,059
Let's start winding down
for bed, all right?

689
00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:46,465
Who are you?
What planet do you hail from?

690
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:50,735
This is Milly from
planet Milly. This is Lionel
from planet Johnny.

691
00:36:50,808 --> 00:36:53,106
Hi, Lionel,
it's very nice to meet you.

692
00:36:53,177 --> 00:36:54,804
You have a 'gina.

693
00:36:56,814 --> 00:36:58,338
I have a what?

694
00:36:58,416 --> 00:37:00,179
I have a penis.
You have a 'gina.

695
00:37:00,251 --> 00:37:02,776
Okay, buddy, give me
a break here, okay?

696
00:37:02,853 --> 00:37:04,320
Can I see it?
Hey.

697
00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:05,480
(JOE GROWLING)

698
00:37:05,556 --> 00:37:08,024
Lionel. Lionel.

699
00:37:09,193 --> 00:37:10,319
Lionel.
JOHNNY: Dad?

700
00:37:11,429 --> 00:37:12,418
Hi.

701
00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,088
This is Milly.

702
00:37:16,033 --> 00:37:17,933
Joe Dresden. Nice to meet you.

703
00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:19,367
Nice to meet you.

704
00:37:19,437 --> 00:37:21,962
Sorry. It's moon dust.

705
00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:25,136
It's okay.

706
00:37:25,209 --> 00:37:27,700
Well, excuse me.
It's usually just us guys.

707
00:37:27,778 --> 00:37:32,477
Johnny hasn't brought home
a gal in, God,
I don't know how long.

708
00:37:32,550 --> 00:37:34,882
Great, I'm getting it
from both sides.

709
00:37:35,886 --> 00:37:37,046
Sorry.

710
00:37:38,623 --> 00:37:40,614
Come on, buddy, let's you
and me go in the other room.

711
00:37:40,691 --> 00:37:43,592
These guys are boring.
Nope, nope, nope.

712
00:37:43,661 --> 00:37:46,425
What'd you have
for lunch today?

713
00:37:46,497 --> 00:37:48,124
Baloney sandwich.

714
00:37:48,199 --> 00:37:50,394
I'm not the baloney.
Yes, you are.

715
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,609
I think we got him.
There we go.
We got him.

716
00:38:02,913 --> 00:38:04,540
We'll see you.

717
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:06,211
Night.

718
00:38:14,725 --> 00:38:16,659
Oh, my God.

719
00:38:18,029 --> 00:38:21,123
Mr. Grant. This way.
Hey, man, how you doing?

720
00:38:21,632 --> 00:38:23,361
This is so amazing.
Yeah.

721
00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:25,459
It's really unbelievable.
Yeah?

722
00:38:26,971 --> 00:38:29,963
This is so great.
It's beautiful.

723
00:38:31,375 --> 00:38:32,842
It's great.

724
00:38:32,910 --> 00:38:34,172
I love this angle on the city.

725
00:38:34,245 --> 00:38:37,476
I never knew this existed.
Gosh.

726
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:41,747
So what's good here?

727
00:38:41,819 --> 00:38:45,016
Well, I hope you don't mind,
but knowing your love of food,

728
00:38:45,089 --> 00:38:47,353
I didn't want you to
miss these.

729
00:38:47,425 --> 00:38:48,414
Oh.

730
00:38:48,759 --> 00:38:52,058
No, no, no, that's great

731
00:38:52,663 --> 00:38:54,597
'cause I make decisions
all day long.

732
00:38:54,665 --> 00:38:57,793
You know, the Gillespies'
daughter is allergic
to chocolate,

733
00:38:57,868 --> 00:38:59,893
but she wants a brown cake,
and...

734
00:38:59,970 --> 00:39:02,996
My lease is up on my car,
do I get a hybrid? 'Cause
I really believe in them

735
00:39:03,074 --> 00:39:06,305
but I don't know if it's time
to switch insurance, it's...

736
00:39:07,411 --> 00:39:11,438
What I mean is, it's very nice
to not have to think
for a change.

737
00:39:13,284 --> 00:39:14,273
(SNORTING)

738
00:39:19,090 --> 00:39:20,250
(CLEARS THROAT)

739
00:39:20,324 --> 00:39:23,816
Well, last time I was
in Italy, I was in Siena,
and they make this wine there,

740
00:39:23,894 --> 00:39:25,725
and this is the only place
in the city that serves it.

741
00:39:25,796 --> 00:39:29,288
You've been to Siena, right?
Oh, well, of course,
I haven't. No.

742
00:39:29,367 --> 00:39:31,096
Are you kidding?

743
00:39:31,168 --> 00:39:34,137
Wouldn't it be fun to drink
our way through Tuscany?

744
00:39:34,205 --> 00:39:36,571
Lt'd be amazing.

745
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:39,836
God, this calamari is so...

746
00:39:40,411 --> 00:39:44,438
Is that City Hall?
God, I love old buildings.
You know, the attention to...

747
00:39:44,515 --> 00:39:47,006
Not that I don't love
modern architecture
'cause I totally do.

748
00:39:47,084 --> 00:39:48,881
It's so bold,
but you know what I mean.

749
00:39:48,953 --> 00:39:51,387
Who wants to live
in all that concrete?

750
00:39:52,022 --> 00:39:56,459
And yet, you know,
the Zen of clean minds,
that kind of Asian simplicity,

751
00:39:56,527 --> 00:39:59,690
living without
all the clutter, is great.

752
00:40:03,434 --> 00:40:07,734
This view is amazing.
My mom would love this view.

753
00:40:07,805 --> 00:40:09,102
Oh, yeah?

754
00:40:09,907 --> 00:40:11,807
Does she have good taste?

755
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:14,476
Lmpeccable.

756
00:40:17,114 --> 00:40:19,412
Now I know that this is
the part of the evening

757
00:40:19,483 --> 00:40:23,214
where I'm supposed to sit
way over here in this chair.

758
00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:26,552
But can I jump five spaces
and pass "Go"?

759
00:40:27,324 --> 00:40:29,622
Well, "can" implies
"are you capable."

760
00:40:29,693 --> 00:40:32,253
"May" asks the question.

761
00:40:32,329 --> 00:40:33,819
Milly, may I?

762
00:40:34,665 --> 00:40:36,394
Yes, you may.

763
00:40:36,467 --> 00:40:38,401
Milly, may I kiss you?

764
00:40:49,780 --> 00:40:55,377
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)

765
00:40:55,453 --> 00:40:57,182
I'm sorry.
Could you hold that thought
for a second?

766
00:40:57,254 --> 00:40:58,778
I have to, like...

767
00:41:03,027 --> 00:41:04,016
What?

768
00:41:04,462 --> 00:41:08,694
Well, I just got that new
conference call feature,
so we thought we'd try it out.

769
00:41:08,933 --> 00:41:10,798
New?
Hey, Milly.

770
00:41:10,868 --> 00:41:12,733
Hi, how's it going?
Yes. He's a great kisser.

771
00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:16,068
Wonderful.
Isn't that great, girls?
BOTH: Yeah.

772
00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,801
That's so much better than...
Remember that Ted guy?

773
00:41:17,875 --> 00:41:19,103
He seemed to have
a lot of potential,

774
00:41:19,176 --> 00:41:20,700
then he ended up
having, like,
lizard tongue.

775
00:41:20,778 --> 00:41:21,767
Oh, yeah.

776
00:41:21,846 --> 00:41:23,939
And as I remember,
an over-intake of Mentos

777
00:41:24,014 --> 00:41:26,107
which didn't cover
the buffalo wing breath.

778
00:41:26,183 --> 00:41:27,673
That's disgusting, Mae.

779
00:41:27,751 --> 00:41:29,810
Though, as I recall,
those kisses bombed upstairs,

780
00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:31,411
but had a certain finesse
downstairs.

781
00:41:31,489 --> 00:41:34,458
I remember that.
Yes, downstairs and...

782
00:41:34,525 --> 00:41:36,015
I don't want to hear it.

783
00:41:36,093 --> 00:41:38,618
Guys, all right,
I gotta go kiss.
I gotta go kiss.

784
00:41:38,696 --> 00:41:39,822
Okay, I gotta go too.
No.

785
00:41:39,897 --> 00:41:41,194
Me three.
Bye.

786
00:42:09,827 --> 00:42:11,124
MAN. : Yeah.
WOMAN. : Yeah.

787
00:42:11,195 --> 00:42:12,184
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

788
00:42:12,796 --> 00:42:14,127
Feels good.
Yeah.

789
00:42:15,165 --> 00:42:16,154
(WOMAN MO ANING)

790
00:42:16,967 --> 00:42:17,956
MAGGIE. : Hello?

791
00:42:18,335 --> 00:42:19,324
Hello?

792
00:42:19,737 --> 00:42:20,726
Mom?

793
00:42:20,871 --> 00:42:22,338
No.
Are you there?

794
00:42:22,740 --> 00:42:24,105
Okay.
Mom?

795
00:42:24,174 --> 00:42:25,835
What, honey?
Mom?

796
00:42:26,210 --> 00:42:27,438
Are you okay?

797
00:42:27,511 --> 00:42:31,174
What, honey?
No, yeah. I'm fine.

798
00:42:31,248 --> 00:42:33,182
No, wait. Mom,
what's that sound?

799
00:42:33,250 --> 00:42:35,411
Well, Cooper's in heat.
Good night.

800
00:42:35,486 --> 00:42:37,317
Cooper's a boy. Mom?

801
00:42:40,691 --> 00:42:44,092
He wants potato pancakes
in the shape of footballs

802
00:42:44,161 --> 00:42:47,392
with Gandalf's face
on them in sour cream.

803
00:42:47,464 --> 00:42:49,932
We can do that.
You start, though.

804
00:42:50,034 --> 00:42:51,023
Hello.

805
00:42:52,403 --> 00:42:54,837
Hi. Wow.

806
00:42:54,905 --> 00:42:57,635
Lionel helped picked these.
He wanted you to know.

807
00:42:57,708 --> 00:43:02,475
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you so much.
Lionel, they're beautiful.

808
00:43:03,347 --> 00:43:06,578
And you know what?
You can actually
eat these flowers.

809
00:43:06,650 --> 00:43:08,117
They're really good in salads.

810
00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:10,346
Although, when I was your age,
I didn't like anything green.

811
00:43:10,421 --> 00:43:11,479
And now I've learned to love

812
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:12,783
spinach...
Now if she could
just stop talking

813
00:43:12,856 --> 00:43:13,982
for five seconds.
...Brussels sprouts, broccoli.

814
00:43:14,058 --> 00:43:15,082
(TIMER RINGS)

815
00:43:15,159 --> 00:43:16,717
Oh, I got it,
I got it, I got it.

816
00:43:16,794 --> 00:43:18,421
No, we'll get it.
I got it.

817
00:43:19,363 --> 00:43:21,888
Hey, Lionel, come on,
you wanna help us eat
the centerpiece?

818
00:43:21,966 --> 00:43:23,263
LIONEL: Can I, Dad?

819
00:43:23,334 --> 00:43:25,393
Yeah, yeah.
Go ahead. Go crazy.

820
00:43:25,469 --> 00:43:26,493
Bye.

821
00:43:27,304 --> 00:43:29,135
If you don't, I will.

822
00:43:34,144 --> 00:43:35,736
There was a lot going on
the other night.

823
00:43:35,813 --> 00:43:40,216
And I didn't get to tell you
about Lionel's unique rhythm
and I'm sorry...

824
00:43:40,284 --> 00:43:43,720
Oh, gosh, no, it's fine.
I actually feel
a kinship with him.

825
00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:47,746
You know he can't stop
running around
and I can't stop talking.

826
00:43:48,058 --> 00:43:50,891
I kind of think you're gonna
have your hands full.

827
00:43:50,961 --> 00:43:52,087
(EXCLAIMING)

828
00:43:52,162 --> 00:43:53,789
They said it couldn't be done,
but I did it.

829
00:43:53,864 --> 00:43:55,126
How was your date with the...

830
00:43:55,199 --> 00:43:56,928
Oh, my gosh, Mom...

831
00:43:57,334 --> 00:44:02,328
Mom, this is Johnny.
Johnny, this is my mom,
Daphne.

832
00:44:04,208 --> 00:44:06,733
Hi. Oh.

833
00:44:06,810 --> 00:44:08,505
(SCREAMING)

834
00:44:09,546 --> 00:44:10,570
Oh!

835
00:44:10,648 --> 00:44:12,912
Lionel. Johnny's son.

836
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:14,716
John, is it?

837
00:44:15,986 --> 00:44:17,647
Lionel. Come on, buddy.

838
00:44:17,721 --> 00:44:18,710
Uh-huh.

839
00:44:21,225 --> 00:44:22,749
Lionel, come on here now.

840
00:44:22,826 --> 00:44:24,817
Pardon me.
MILLY: Johnny. That's Johnny.

841
00:44:24,895 --> 00:44:26,829
Lionel, that's so cute.

842
00:44:27,998 --> 00:44:30,296
Oh, my gosh. Oh, Mom.

843
00:44:33,637 --> 00:44:34,729
(CRYING)

844
00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:37,296
The delivery man's here.
Is this menorah-esque?

845
00:44:37,374 --> 00:44:38,534
Mom, I don't even know
if this is good.

846
00:44:38,609 --> 00:44:40,668
Find something Hobbit-like.
I don't have anything
Hobbit-like.

847
00:44:40,744 --> 00:44:41,972
We should try
and make this work, though.

848
00:44:42,046 --> 00:44:43,445
They're never gonna never know
it's from Gelson's.

849
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:46,347
Oh, wait, wait.
I used this for Jason's party.

850
00:44:46,417 --> 00:44:48,476
Jason has such
nice eyes. Okay.

851
00:44:48,819 --> 00:44:49,877
Thank you.

852
00:44:50,654 --> 00:44:52,383
Happy Bar Mitzvah,
Josh Greenberg.

853
00:44:52,456 --> 00:44:54,048
How do you know Jason has
such nice eyes?

854
00:44:54,124 --> 00:44:57,890
Does he? Oh, that's so sweet.
He seems like
a very special person.

855
00:44:57,961 --> 00:45:01,192
What if we try that new vase
on the coffee table?

856
00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:05,596
He is nice.
But actually, they both are.
Oh, I'm sure they both are.

857
00:45:05,669 --> 00:45:07,569
But in terms of who you
wanna get serious with,

858
00:45:07,638 --> 00:45:10,471
that Johnny, at least from
what I can see, can't even
get his life together.

859
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:14,375
But I'm gonna stop, all right?
You know what's wrong?

860
00:45:14,445 --> 00:45:16,413
The couch is
in the wrong place. Look.

861
00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:18,243
I got an idea.
Okay.

862
00:45:18,315 --> 00:45:20,647
So we'll move the couch.
Which way?
Let's move it this way.

863
00:45:20,718 --> 00:45:21,810
Here we go.

864
00:45:39,670 --> 00:45:42,639
That's so good.
Okay, there we go.
I think it's good.

865
00:45:42,706 --> 00:45:45,231
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God, look at that.

866
00:45:45,309 --> 00:45:48,278
It's so great.
It, like, completely opens
the room up.

867
00:45:48,345 --> 00:45:49,573
So very, very, very good.
I love it.

868
00:45:49,646 --> 00:45:51,876
The only thing is...
Can I just say this?
What?

869
00:45:51,949 --> 00:45:54,509
We haven't tried the couch
by the window.
I think we should.

870
00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:55,916
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

871
00:45:56,186 --> 00:45:58,882
All right. I don't
even know if I see it here.
Okay. Oh, gosh.

872
00:45:59,123 --> 00:46:00,647
Just a second. Hello?

873
00:46:01,925 --> 00:46:05,326
You have the wrong number.
Yeah.
There is no J. Bond here.

874
00:46:05,796 --> 00:46:09,732
FYI, the Eagle has landed.

875
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:14,203
Yeah, the hen is in the house.
Repeat, the hen is
in the house. Right now.

876
00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:17,236
All right, honey?

877
00:46:17,307 --> 00:46:19,332
Mil, if we push this
five inches to the left,

878
00:46:19,409 --> 00:46:21,434
I swear it's gonna
transform your life.

879
00:46:21,512 --> 00:46:23,980
You really think so?
I wouldn't lie to you.

880
00:46:24,047 --> 00:46:25,514
All right.
Come on, let's go.

881
00:46:25,582 --> 00:46:26,640
Okay, on three.
Yeah.

882
00:46:26,717 --> 00:46:27,741
(TELEPHONE RINGING)

883
00:46:27,818 --> 00:46:29,581
One, two, three.

884
00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:32,953
Hey, it's Milly,
leave me a message.
This way. Mom?

885
00:46:33,090 --> 00:46:35,524
Hey, Milly. It's Jason.
I was thinking about you

886
00:46:35,592 --> 00:46:37,287
and I wanted to say what...
Pick it up. Answer it.

887
00:46:37,361 --> 00:46:39,727
Does he sound wonderful
or what? Why don't you
wanna talk to him?

888
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:43,096
I do wanna talk to him.
I just don't wanna do it
in front of you, all right?

889
00:46:43,167 --> 00:46:44,191
Come on, Milly,
I mean I don't...

890
00:46:44,268 --> 00:46:46,634
I got us tickets to
the Music Center
Friday night for La Boheme.

891
00:46:46,703 --> 00:46:50,366
La Boheme. Oh, come on,
sweetie, I love La Boheme.

892
00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:52,670
Just pick up the phone.
Mom, I don't want to
talk to him.

893
00:46:52,743 --> 00:46:55,803
It's a really interesting
production...
Mil, Mil, pick up the phone.

894
00:46:55,879 --> 00:46:58,245
Mom, stop. No, no, no,
don't pick up the phone.

895
00:46:58,315 --> 00:47:00,977
Here, take it. Say yes.
Stop, stop.

896
00:47:02,953 --> 00:47:04,147
Hi.

897
00:47:05,222 --> 00:47:06,849
Yeah, I'm great.

898
00:47:08,091 --> 00:47:10,082
Oh, great. Yeah, okay.

899
00:47:10,260 --> 00:47:11,249
Mmm-hmm.

900
00:47:11,495 --> 00:47:13,986
That sounds really great.
Great.

901
00:47:14,064 --> 00:47:15,725
Yeah, great. Okay.

902
00:47:15,799 --> 00:47:18,632
All right.
Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

903
00:47:18,702 --> 00:47:20,966
Okay, great. Bye.

904
00:47:23,674 --> 00:47:25,437
He obviously adores you.

905
00:47:25,943 --> 00:47:28,810
You think so?
Oh, God, and who wouldn't?

906
00:47:28,879 --> 00:47:33,043
But, hon, are you aware
of how many times
you used the word "great"?

907
00:47:34,051 --> 00:47:35,575
These candlesticks gotta go.

908
00:47:35,652 --> 00:47:38,883
No, no, no. I like them.
They're staying.
They're great.

909
00:47:39,189 --> 00:47:42,283
Milly, you know how much
I hate to meddle,
but I once had the choice

910
00:47:42,359 --> 00:47:45,954
between a mature,
responsible young man
like Jason,

911
00:47:46,029 --> 00:47:49,055
and your father,
who, of course,
I was infatuated with.

912
00:47:49,132 --> 00:47:51,066
And to this day...
Okay, okay.

913
00:47:51,134 --> 00:47:52,226
You know what?

914
00:47:52,302 --> 00:47:55,135
To be fair, you're reading
a lot into a guy that you've
met for ten minutes.

915
00:47:55,205 --> 00:47:59,437
Truth be told,
that Johnny has heartbreak
written all over his face.

916
00:47:59,509 --> 00:48:02,967
No, no, no. Truth be told,
you know absolutely
nothing about him.

917
00:48:03,046 --> 00:48:05,207
And know what, Mom? I gotta go
'cause I'm getting
my bangs cut.

918
00:48:05,282 --> 00:48:06,909
What?
No, no, you go ahead.

919
00:48:06,984 --> 00:48:08,110
No, that's okay, you go ahead.

920
00:48:08,185 --> 00:48:09,174
Yes.
Fine.

921
00:48:09,253 --> 00:48:11,118
Cut your bangs and quit
hiding your incredible eyes.

922
00:48:11,188 --> 00:48:13,986
To be truthful, you know
nothing about him.
He's actually a good parent.

923
00:48:14,057 --> 00:48:16,082
Hiding your incredible eyes.
I can't do this.

924
00:48:16,159 --> 00:48:20,027
Milly, I love you
and you may be brilliant,
but you're not smart.

925
00:48:20,097 --> 00:48:22,395
I just want you to
have a full, beautiful life.

926
00:48:22,466 --> 00:48:25,094
Do I not have a life, Mom?
Because I thought
I had a life.

927
00:48:25,168 --> 00:48:27,261
No. No, you have a career,
you have a car

928
00:48:27,337 --> 00:48:29,669
and you have a loft
you pay way too much rent for.

929
00:48:29,740 --> 00:48:30,764
That's not a life.

930
00:48:30,841 --> 00:48:35,039
Milly, I'm your mother.
I love you enough
to tell you the truth.

931
00:48:35,112 --> 00:48:37,910
Your version
of the truth, Mom.
No. No.

932
00:48:37,981 --> 00:48:41,508
The truth is, happiness
is a series of choices.

933
00:48:41,585 --> 00:48:43,348
It's not something
that just sort of happens.

934
00:48:43,420 --> 00:48:46,514
One wrong decision
can change your whole life.

935
00:48:48,659 --> 00:48:50,490
There's still time, Mom.

936
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,585
Not if you waste
another minute of it.

937
00:48:52,663 --> 00:48:54,961
I mean for you.

938
00:48:59,002 --> 00:49:01,994
And I don't say
"great" too much.

939
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:07,770
MILLY: This is great.
This is great.

940
00:49:08,178 --> 00:49:11,341
The view is great.
The night is just so great.

941
00:49:11,415 --> 00:49:13,110
You warm enough?
You wanna go inside?

942
00:49:13,183 --> 00:49:15,515
No, no, no, I'm fine.
I'm nice and toasty.

943
00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:16,609
Okay, all right.

944
00:49:16,687 --> 00:49:21,624
And don't you just love
my mom's orange blossom
cheesecake? So good.

945
00:49:21,692 --> 00:49:23,557
Get a big bite.
Wow.

946
00:49:25,095 --> 00:49:27,086
It's great, right?

947
00:49:27,597 --> 00:49:32,193
It's superb, which is
a synonym for great, if you're
ever looking for one.

948
00:49:34,104 --> 00:49:37,505
You know, you're cold.
Let's go inside.

949
00:49:37,574 --> 00:49:38,939
You get the candle,
I'll get the rest.

950
00:49:39,009 --> 00:49:40,374
Let me grab that.

951
00:49:40,844 --> 00:49:42,937
Be careful with that.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

952
00:49:43,013 --> 00:49:44,071
I'm so sorry.

953
00:49:44,147 --> 00:49:46,411
Oh, my gosh, please tell me
where I can get you
another one...

954
00:49:46,483 --> 00:49:49,247
You can't.
It's my great-grandmother's.

955
00:49:49,519 --> 00:49:51,544
Oh, my God. Jason.

956
00:49:52,189 --> 00:49:54,555
I don't know
what to say. I'm sorry.

957
00:49:54,624 --> 00:49:56,216
Please, I'm just,
I've been so out of it lately.

958
00:49:56,293 --> 00:49:59,262
My alarm clock
didn't go off today
and that's why I was late

959
00:49:59,329 --> 00:50:01,593
and I've just been
so stressed with
the Greenberg Bar Mitzvah,

960
00:50:01,665 --> 00:50:03,189
but that's a whole...

961
00:50:04,568 --> 00:50:07,765
You just seem really angry.

962
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:10,101
Nope.

963
00:50:11,008 --> 00:50:12,339
I'm great.

964
00:50:18,682 --> 00:50:19,808
Okay.

965
00:50:22,886 --> 00:50:25,446
MILLY: I promise you
they're the best
chocolate soufflés ever.

966
00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:27,149
Well, they better be.
They're worth it.

967
00:50:27,224 --> 00:50:28,657
Touchdown.

968
00:50:29,626 --> 00:50:31,958
Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry.

969
00:50:32,029 --> 00:50:34,327
Hey, it's all right.
That's all right.

970
00:50:35,132 --> 00:50:37,692
I'm sorry. I bumped
into, like, a parking
meter yesterday

971
00:50:37,768 --> 00:50:39,463
and I'm always breaking stuff.

972
00:50:39,536 --> 00:50:42,403
Why are you apologizing?
It isn't even your fault.

973
00:50:42,472 --> 00:50:46,169
Lionel, put some shoes on
before you come back
in here, all right?

974
00:50:46,610 --> 00:50:50,637
Look, I know he can be a lot
and it gets a little crazy
around here sometimes.

975
00:50:50,714 --> 00:50:54,047
But here you are making us
chocolate soufflés
and you're apologizing.

976
00:50:54,117 --> 00:50:57,746
Sometimes, I think you let
people make you feel bad
about yourself.

977
00:50:57,821 --> 00:51:00,153
Yeah, like you are right now?

978
00:51:01,058 --> 00:51:02,389
(GRUNTING)

979
00:51:03,026 --> 00:51:05,187
What is going on
with us today?

980
00:51:05,262 --> 00:51:07,287
We're having an off day,
that's all.

981
00:51:11,435 --> 00:51:13,027
What are you doing?
I'm leaving.

982
00:51:13,103 --> 00:51:14,798
I'm leaving because
you're miserable

983
00:51:14,871 --> 00:51:16,862
and we're having a bad day.
You just admitted it.

984
00:51:16,940 --> 00:51:18,305
No, I said "off day."

985
00:51:18,375 --> 00:51:19,967
And, yes,
we've had better days,

986
00:51:20,043 --> 00:51:22,068
and I'm sure we'll have
a few hundred more weird ones

987
00:51:22,145 --> 00:51:24,045
if we stay together. So what?

988
00:51:26,550 --> 00:51:27,710
Johnny.
Give me your hand.

989
00:51:27,784 --> 00:51:30,150
What?
I'm going to
try something here.

990
00:51:30,854 --> 00:51:33,948
What are you doing?
Just a little something.

991
00:51:41,631 --> 00:51:42,655
Oh.

992
00:51:42,732 --> 00:51:44,859
The soufflés are done.
No, the timer didn't go off.

993
00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:48,098
No, no. I feel it.
I feel it. Watch.

994
00:51:57,981 --> 00:52:00,108
Those look beautiful.
Thank you.

995
00:52:00,183 --> 00:52:02,913
The one thing I can
actually do right.

996
00:52:04,855 --> 00:52:07,688
You have perfect timing.
Thank you.

997
00:52:08,525 --> 00:52:09,856
Come here.

998
00:52:13,463 --> 00:52:15,124
Don't apologize.

999
00:52:17,701 --> 00:52:19,999
He has this way
of calming me down.

1000
00:52:20,070 --> 00:52:22,436
A huge plus.
Yeah.

1001
00:52:23,573 --> 00:52:24,767
But then the whole
Lionel thing.

1002
00:52:24,841 --> 00:52:29,039
I just worry and wonder,
would I be a good mother
to him?

1003
00:52:29,112 --> 00:52:31,103
Don't worry.
It's not genetic.

1004
00:52:33,717 --> 00:52:36,277
They've been through
so much, though,

1005
00:52:36,353 --> 00:52:40,847
with Lionel's mom, like,
freaking out and splitting
when he was so young.

1006
00:52:41,958 --> 00:52:44,791
I don't know, not that we're
anywhere near talking
about any of this yet.

1007
00:52:44,861 --> 00:52:48,228
Just the fact
that you're wondering,
though. God.

1008
00:52:48,632 --> 00:52:52,659
I mean the fact is
you don't know either
of these guys that well.

1009
00:52:53,436 --> 00:52:55,427
Who knows if Jason
even wants to have kids?

1010
00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:56,836
JASON: Absolutely.

1011
00:52:57,574 --> 00:52:58,973
Four kids.

1012
00:52:59,042 --> 00:53:00,976
And I wanna name the first
one Charlie after my father

1013
00:53:01,044 --> 00:53:02,705
and that works
if it's a boy or a girl.

1014
00:53:02,779 --> 00:53:06,613
Then I want to design
a huge Craftsman house
for the whole brood.

1015
00:53:06,683 --> 00:53:07,741
The exhibit's in here.

1016
00:53:07,817 --> 00:53:11,082
Oh, no, no, no.
Don't let me in the museum.
Too many breakables.

1017
00:53:11,154 --> 00:53:13,418
Don't worry. They're insured.

1018
00:53:14,591 --> 00:53:16,024
Hey, listen.

1019
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:20,054
I'm sorry I lost my temper
with you the other day.

1020
00:53:20,130 --> 00:53:22,223
You felt bad enough already.

1021
00:53:23,099 --> 00:53:25,932
I can be a real ass
and I hate that about myself.

1022
00:53:31,208 --> 00:53:33,176
Another family heirloom.

1023
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,645
He buys jewelry.
Well, it's a no-brainer.
He's the one.

1024
00:53:46,723 --> 00:53:49,385
He felt remorse, Mae.
DAPHNE: Well,
that's a lovely quality.

1025
00:53:49,459 --> 00:53:52,019
No, he knew
he should feel remorse.
Oh, my God, Milly.

1026
00:53:52,095 --> 00:53:53,153
Those empanadas are amazing.

1027
00:53:53,230 --> 00:53:55,960
They're gonna be perfect
for Mom's party.
Oh, my party.

1028
00:53:56,032 --> 00:53:59,263
Mom, what about these
for your party?
Oh, shoes, please.

1029
00:53:59,336 --> 00:54:02,134
Why are you making
such a big deal
over this dreaded event?

1030
00:54:02,205 --> 00:54:04,139
Why are we celebrating
my descent into oblivion?

1031
00:54:04,207 --> 00:54:06,675
Come on, Mom.
It's not that bad.
Snap out of it.

1032
00:54:06,743 --> 00:54:11,009
Well, I mean, it is
a milestone, and actually,
I am taking stock of my life

1033
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:13,743
and trying to find
some peace and quiet
in my old age,

1034
00:54:13,817 --> 00:54:17,150
so, Milly, will you please
bring Jason to the party?

1035
00:54:17,420 --> 00:54:20,787
I would just love to meet him.
That's all I'm asking.

1036
00:54:20,857 --> 00:54:23,189
I understand,
but isn't it my choice
who I bring?

1037
00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:25,057
I think it is.
Thank you.

1038
00:54:25,228 --> 00:54:26,889
All right.

1039
00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:28,424
Okay.

1040
00:54:31,434 --> 00:54:32,492
Oh.

1041
00:54:33,603 --> 00:54:34,729
(DAPHNE MOANING)

1042
00:54:37,507 --> 00:54:39,338
Oh, my God.

1043
00:54:39,409 --> 00:54:43,038
Mom, Eli says
that's what I say
right before I...

1044
00:54:43,113 --> 00:54:44,740
No kidding? Me, too.

1045
00:54:44,814 --> 00:54:46,111
And, you know, it was funny,

1046
00:54:46,182 --> 00:54:48,480
the other night,
we hadn't had sex
in so long, by the third one,

1047
00:54:48,551 --> 00:54:50,815
I was setting off
the car alarms
in the neighborhood,

1048
00:54:50,887 --> 00:54:52,115
and dogs were barking...

1049
00:54:52,188 --> 00:54:54,418
Three? Is that normal?

1050
00:54:54,491 --> 00:54:56,959
Please. Everyone knows
I hold the record
in this family.

1051
00:55:02,165 --> 00:55:03,962
Why are you so quiet?

1052
00:55:05,468 --> 00:55:07,663
'Cause she's doing
the Oompa-Loompa
with two guys, Mom.

1053
00:55:07,737 --> 00:55:09,728
Stop it.
What?

1054
00:55:09,939 --> 00:55:11,270
DAPHNE: Wait a minute.

1055
00:55:11,374 --> 00:55:14,138
At this point,
are you doing it
with both of them at once?

1056
00:55:14,210 --> 00:55:16,542
No. I'm not. Absolutely not.

1057
00:55:26,356 --> 00:55:30,019
Honey, I've been thinking
about your situation
with Jason.

1058
00:55:30,493 --> 00:55:33,826
Mom, I didn't ask for this.
It happened to me.

1059
00:55:38,968 --> 00:55:39,957
(EXCLAIMING)

1060
00:55:40,370 --> 00:55:42,361
So move on.

1061
00:55:54,117 --> 00:55:55,641
DAPHNE. :
No. It happened to you.

1062
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:59,780
Things have gotten
so out of hand
I broke my first bundt cake.

1063
00:56:10,734 --> 00:56:13,066
Has anybody seen my G.I. Joe?

1064
00:56:13,136 --> 00:56:14,797
Believe me, it's not in here.

1065
00:56:15,238 --> 00:56:16,705
I left it on the bed.

1066
00:56:16,773 --> 00:56:18,138
...that it happened to you.

1067
00:56:18,208 --> 00:56:21,075
You're making me hate you
and I don't ever want to
see your face...

1068
00:56:23,847 --> 00:56:25,280
With that Johnny...

1069
00:56:25,348 --> 00:56:26,372
(SCREAMS)

1070
00:56:27,384 --> 00:56:29,443
Happy birthday, Mom.

1071
00:56:29,519 --> 00:56:30,543
Happy birthday, Mom.
Happy birthday.

1072
00:56:30,620 --> 00:56:32,884
MILLY: Your favorite
butterscotch cake.
We made it.

1073
00:56:32,956 --> 00:56:35,220
MAGGIE: Well, some of us
made it.
MAE: We helped, okay?

1074
00:56:35,625 --> 00:56:37,183
It's really yummy.
I tried some.
All right.

1075
00:56:37,260 --> 00:56:39,194
Make a wish, make a wish.
Make a wish, Mom.

1076
00:56:39,262 --> 00:56:41,253
Come on, make a wish,
make a wish.
Make a wish, make a wish.

1077
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:56,936
(ALL CHEERING)

1078
00:56:57,013 --> 00:56:59,072
Happy birthday.
We love you, Mom.

1079
00:56:59,149 --> 00:57:01,583
I'd like to propose a toast.

1080
00:57:01,651 --> 00:57:04,586
To the incredibly unique
Daphne Wilder,

1081
00:57:04,654 --> 00:57:09,956
the fearless leader of
the Wilder women, who I hope
to someday call family.

1082
00:57:10,627 --> 00:57:12,322
You've created
a wonderful family,

1083
00:57:12,395 --> 00:57:14,863
and I hope when my folks
stop through town,

1084
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:17,695
that Milly'll charm them
as much as she's charmed me.

1085
00:57:18,802 --> 00:57:20,099
Cheers.

1086
00:57:20,170 --> 00:57:21,933
Cheers.
Cheers.

1087
00:57:22,005 --> 00:57:23,700
Cheers.
WOMAN: Cheers.

1088
00:57:23,773 --> 00:57:25,502
Thank you so much.

1089
00:57:25,575 --> 00:57:27,372
Thank you, thank you.

1090
00:57:27,444 --> 00:57:30,709
What was that exactly?
Did you know
he was gonna do that?

1091
00:57:32,115 --> 00:57:34,709
Did he just propose?
Because I think
he just proposed.

1092
00:57:34,784 --> 00:57:37,048
I think he did.
The question is, to who?

1093
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:39,714
Maggie, stop being a killjoy.
All right, girls,
what do you think?

1094
00:57:39,789 --> 00:57:41,689
He seems well-read.
He's tall.

1095
00:57:41,758 --> 00:57:44,022
Okay, you guys
don't like him at all.
Don't listen to your sisters.

1096
00:57:44,093 --> 00:57:46,254
For God's sake, sweetie,
do not listen to them.

1097
00:57:46,329 --> 00:57:47,353
Here's what I'm thinking.

1098
00:57:47,430 --> 00:57:49,625
I'm thinking his parents
are from Connecticut.

1099
00:57:49,699 --> 00:57:50,996
They're a little conservative,

1100
00:57:51,067 --> 00:57:53,365
so maybe you should
just wear your pleated skirt.

1101
00:57:53,436 --> 00:57:55,870
Just this once, honey?
Stop.

1102
00:57:55,939 --> 00:57:58,373
It's just a gesture,
just make them
more comfortable.

1103
00:57:58,441 --> 00:58:01,877
I understand it's a gesture
but, Mom,
this is moving very quickly.

1104
00:58:01,945 --> 00:58:04,971
He just said
all of this. It's...
Milly, don't fight it.

1105
00:58:05,048 --> 00:58:06,208
This is the way
it's supposed to be.

1106
00:58:06,282 --> 00:58:07,977
You're just not used
to feeling pursued and adored.

1107
00:58:08,418 --> 00:58:10,318
I hate pleated skirts.

1108
00:58:10,787 --> 00:58:13,551
Isn't this about the time
we were going to sing?

1109
00:58:13,623 --> 00:58:15,887
That's a great idea.
Come on, Mils.
Yes, yes.

1110
00:58:18,061 --> 00:58:20,222
Well, I met him on a Sunday

1111
00:58:20,296 --> 00:58:21,593
My voice.

1112
00:58:27,103 --> 00:58:30,595
And I missed him on Monday

1113
00:58:34,777 --> 00:58:36,642
Not bad. What do you
got going, Mom?

1114
00:58:36,713 --> 00:58:40,012
And I dated him Wednesday

1115
00:58:45,855 --> 00:58:47,482
I said bye-bye, baby

1116
00:58:47,557 --> 00:58:49,024
Nice.
Yes.

1117
00:59:00,637 --> 00:59:03,071
Milly? Will you take
the soprano?

1118
00:59:06,075 --> 00:59:07,906
You know, that's it.
That's it.

1119
00:59:07,977 --> 00:59:10,138
No, no. You're so
out of control.

1120
00:59:10,213 --> 00:59:11,305
What'd I do this time?

1121
00:59:11,381 --> 00:59:13,281
You're forcing me.
Jason's here.
You're making me...

1122
00:59:13,349 --> 00:59:15,840
So, Jason, can I get you
another one of these?

1123
00:59:15,919 --> 00:59:16,908
Will I need one?

1124
00:59:16,986 --> 00:59:18,851
Oh, yeah.
They're just getting started.

1125
00:59:18,922 --> 00:59:20,355
Who wants lavender ice cream?

1126
00:59:20,423 --> 00:59:21,788
No, no, no.
No, no, no.

1127
00:59:21,858 --> 00:59:24,588
You're not gonna go.
You're out of control.
Milly's right.

1128
00:59:24,661 --> 00:59:27,061
I don't know how
she can take it.
I can't.
I can't take it anymore.

1129
00:59:27,130 --> 00:59:32,124
Well, excuse me for just
one moment here. I thought
that this was my birthday.

1130
00:59:32,201 --> 00:59:34,829
My very big, special birthday.

1131
00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:36,531
Yes, Mom. It's your big,
special birthday.

1132
00:59:36,606 --> 00:59:37,630
That's how you should remember

1133
00:59:37,707 --> 00:59:38,867
you're too old...
Old?

1134
00:59:38,942 --> 00:59:41,809
Not too old, but too old
to be doing this to Milly.

1135
00:59:41,878 --> 00:59:43,778
You're pushing her
like you pushed her
into Girl Scouts.

1136
00:59:43,846 --> 00:59:45,575
Thank you very much.
I'm not ten years old anymore.

1137
00:59:45,648 --> 00:59:46,706
You have to stop.
Yeah.

1138
00:59:46,783 --> 00:59:47,977
You have to change
at some point.

1139
00:59:48,051 --> 00:59:52,681
Fine. But I just want you
girls to understand something
about motherhood, okay?

1140
00:59:52,755 --> 00:59:53,915
Mom.

1141
00:59:53,990 --> 00:59:55,048
Okay?
MAGGIE: Yeah, okay.

1142
00:59:55,124 --> 00:59:57,854
I mean, it is the most
impossible love.

1143
00:59:57,927 --> 01:00:01,419
You tell me when it ends.
You tell me when it stops.

1144
01:00:01,497 --> 01:00:06,764
All I know is, it's absolutely
fine for me to teach you
how to walk and talk,

1145
01:00:06,836 --> 01:00:11,000
and then you grow up and you
head off in the wrong
direction toward a cliff.

1146
01:00:11,074 --> 01:00:13,975
And I'm supposed to just
stand there and wave and go,

1147
01:00:14,043 --> 01:00:18,537
"Well, kids, good luck.
It's Mom. I'm here."
Well, I can't do that.

1148
01:00:19,315 --> 01:00:21,579
What am I supposed to do, huh?

1149
01:00:21,651 --> 01:00:26,748
Am I supposed to just put my
feet up at the end of the day
and say to myself,

1150
01:00:26,823 --> 01:00:32,693
"Well, you know,
they're on their own
and she says she's fine."

1151
01:00:32,762 --> 01:00:33,854
Well, you won't be.

1152
01:00:33,930 --> 01:00:35,591
Just stop it. God damn it.

1153
01:00:35,665 --> 01:00:37,895
You are making me crazy
and you're never gonna change

1154
01:00:37,967 --> 01:00:39,525
'cause you don't even know
when you're doing it.

1155
01:00:39,602 --> 01:00:42,230
Oh, well, I am gonna stop
as in right now.

1156
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:47,333
So, let me tell you,
I am washing my hands
of your emotional problems.

1157
01:00:47,410 --> 01:00:52,177
I'm just a visitor
with a limited day pass
from here on in.

1158
01:00:52,248 --> 01:00:54,808
Oh, my God, I can't even talk.

1159
01:00:54,884 --> 01:00:55,873
Mom.

1160
01:00:55,952 --> 01:00:57,476
(DAPHNE CRYING)

1161
01:00:59,222 --> 01:01:00,211
Oh, my...
Great.

1162
01:01:00,289 --> 01:01:03,554
She loses her voice
and we are three days
from Hungarian flu.

1163
01:01:03,626 --> 01:01:05,594
You guys, the last time
I had her at my house,

1164
01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:07,960
Derek and I were in therapy
for two months.
I can't do it with this.

1165
01:01:08,031 --> 01:01:10,556
No, no, no. I know
it's my turn technically,
but you cannot...

1166
01:01:10,633 --> 01:01:12,567
We can't be in the same room
together right now.

1167
01:01:12,635 --> 01:01:14,432
Rock, Paper, Scissor.

1168
01:01:14,904 --> 01:01:17,168
Rock, Paper...
Fine, fine, fine.

1169
01:01:17,407 --> 01:01:18,874
Hi. Oh, Ma, I'll take that.

1170
01:01:18,941 --> 01:01:21,432
We know you're about to
get sick, so we're gonna
Rock, Paper, Scissors

1171
01:01:21,511 --> 01:01:22,876
to see whose house
you're gonna stay at.

1172
01:01:22,945 --> 01:01:25,209
'Cause you know what, Mom?
We all want you to stay.

1173
01:01:25,281 --> 01:01:26,578
We're fighting for you.

1174
01:01:26,649 --> 01:01:29,174
Let's declare, guys. Please?
Okay.

1175
01:01:36,092 --> 01:01:39,084
MAGGIE: Oh, you win, Mils.
That's great.

1176
01:01:40,897 --> 01:01:42,626
Have fun, you guys.

1177
01:01:43,933 --> 01:01:44,763
What for?

1178
01:01:44,834 --> 01:01:48,497
'Cause I'm here with you.
Women prefer him, as a rule.

1179
01:01:49,305 --> 01:01:51,102
Shall we take a walk?

1180
01:01:51,908 --> 01:01:53,239
Yes, let's.

1181
01:01:53,543 --> 01:01:54,635
What?

1182
01:01:54,777 --> 01:01:55,869
Where is he now?

1183
01:01:55,945 --> 01:01:59,108
"You don't need to
take care of me."

1184
01:01:59,582 --> 01:02:03,382
"Go out and have fun
with Jason."

1185
01:02:04,387 --> 01:02:06,582
No. No. Why?

1186
01:02:08,291 --> 01:02:11,089
"Because I said so."

1187
01:02:11,928 --> 01:02:14,089
No. I'm not leaving.

1188
01:02:14,163 --> 01:02:17,621
They say dogs feel disoriented
when they get debarked.

1189
01:02:20,236 --> 01:02:21,601
You're nice, too.

1190
01:02:22,138 --> 01:02:23,127
No.

1191
01:02:24,774 --> 01:02:26,401
Yes.
No, please.

1192
01:02:30,279 --> 01:02:33,737
"Now there was a man
who knew how to be a man."

1193
01:02:33,816 --> 01:02:34,805
Mmm-hmm.

1194
01:02:35,952 --> 01:02:38,921
"There's turkey meatloaf
in the fridge."

1195
01:02:40,223 --> 01:02:42,783
"What's an orgasm feel like?"

1196
01:03:02,411 --> 01:03:03,673
Amazing?

1197
01:03:04,313 --> 01:03:06,781
I don't know. Amazing, and...

1198
01:03:06,849 --> 01:03:08,077
Like...

1199
01:03:09,952 --> 01:03:12,785
Like being
totally out of control.

1200
01:03:13,556 --> 01:03:14,955
Just like...

1201
01:03:18,728 --> 01:03:20,696
"No, I wouldn't like that."

1202
01:03:20,763 --> 01:03:24,221
Yes, you would.
Oh, Mom, no, no, no.
It's not like being drunk.

1203
01:03:24,567 --> 01:03:27,900
It's just satisfying and...

1204
01:03:30,006 --> 01:03:31,564
Like you're out of your body,

1205
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:35,168
but you're in your body,
and your toes curl under...

1206
01:03:35,244 --> 01:03:38,736
That doesn't sound delicious,
I know, but, God,
it's so delicious, Mom.

1207
01:03:38,815 --> 01:03:41,545
And you can laugh or cry,
but like a good cry.

1208
01:03:41,617 --> 01:03:44,177
I mean, I've cried before.
It's just like...

1209
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,221
You know, just...

1210
01:03:53,162 --> 01:03:55,653
Oh, my God,
I can't believe
I just said that to you.

1211
01:03:55,731 --> 01:03:59,292
I'm not explaining it right.
I'm not explaining it right.

1212
01:04:01,871 --> 01:04:04,339
Didn't you ever
have one with Dad?

1213
01:04:07,810 --> 01:04:12,076
"He said he didn't have
all day
and he worked nights."

1214
01:04:20,723 --> 01:04:22,054
Oh, Mom.

1215
01:05:14,243 --> 01:05:16,234
"Don't tell your sisters
I asked."

1216
01:05:38,434 --> 01:05:40,163
(CELL PHONE RINGING)

1217
01:05:58,387 --> 01:05:59,581
Hello?

1218
01:06:00,189 --> 01:06:02,157
No, I'm sorry.
She can't come
to the phone right now.

1219
01:06:02,224 --> 01:06:04,055
Can I take a message?

1220
01:06:06,295 --> 01:06:08,889
You're calling about
the personal ad?

1221
01:06:11,500 --> 01:06:14,492
Are you sure that you have
the right number?

1222
01:06:14,570 --> 01:06:16,800
Yeah, Daphne Wilder.

1223
01:06:17,907 --> 01:06:20,205
Okay. Bye-bye.

1224
01:06:22,912 --> 01:06:25,642
MILLY: Just a little
belated birthday gift.

1225
01:06:26,549 --> 01:06:27,538
You like it?

1226
01:06:27,616 --> 01:06:31,143
See, it brought me luck,
so I thought maybe
it would bring you luck.

1227
01:06:31,220 --> 01:06:33,211
Oh, do you like it, Mom?

1228
01:06:34,056 --> 01:06:36,547
Mom? I know.

1229
01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:41,396
I know all about
your little ad.

1230
01:06:41,464 --> 01:06:43,295
And I think it's so great.

1231
01:06:43,366 --> 01:06:46,199
It's so bold
and so brave of you

1232
01:06:46,268 --> 01:06:48,736
and finally it shows me
that you heard us
at your birthday party.

1233
01:06:48,804 --> 01:06:50,431
You're trying to live
your own life.

1234
01:06:50,506 --> 01:06:51,996
And I want you to know, Mom,

1235
01:06:52,074 --> 01:06:55,840
you don't have to go through
the personals to find love,
'cause that can be so...

1236
01:06:55,911 --> 01:06:57,344
Terrifying.

1237
01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:04,714
Jason's uncle is coming
into town next week
with his parents

1238
01:07:04,787 --> 01:07:06,482
and he's dying
to meet you, Mom.

1239
01:07:06,555 --> 01:07:08,819
Jason says he's, like,
the most amazing guy
in the entire world

1240
01:07:08,891 --> 01:07:10,722
and I haven't even
really told him about the...

1241
01:07:10,793 --> 01:07:13,193
All right, all right, fine.
Fine.

1242
01:07:15,898 --> 01:07:17,889
Why didn't you marry?

1243
01:07:17,967 --> 01:07:20,834
I didn't know what the war
was like then.

1244
01:07:21,570 --> 01:07:23,561
If I had it to do over again,
I'd marry him.

1245
01:07:23,639 --> 01:07:24,628
(DOORBELL RINGING)

1246
01:07:25,975 --> 01:07:28,307
When I joined up,
I remember...

1247
01:07:33,716 --> 01:07:34,910
(GASPS)

1248
01:07:34,984 --> 01:07:36,076
Hello.

1249
01:07:36,152 --> 01:07:38,313
Is this Milly Wilder's home?

1250
01:07:39,588 --> 01